


I Feel a Fire in the Back of My Throat

by mcaulfield



Series: The Fire That Burns [1]
Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: ...until it’s not., Chasefield-Centric, Cheating, Consensual Non-Consent, Domme!Max, Eventual Sex, F/F, Max still has powers, Multi, Okay yes it’s slow burn, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, Post-Canon, Save Chloe Price Ending, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Tension, Sub!Victoria, eventual poly - Freeform, guilty masturbation, some slice of life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-25 00:17:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 79,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14964983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcaulfield/pseuds/mcaulfield
Summary: It's been almost a year and a half since the tornado passed through Arcadia Bay. A lot has changed, yet at the same time, nothing really has. What was missing between the scenes shown in Life is Strange? How did that week change things at Blackwell? Did it change anything at all?[ Updates guaranteed every-other Friday! ]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "I feel a fire in the back of my throat, so let's get covered in flames and play some games with the smoke."
> 
> POV will alternate between Max and Victoria and be noted at the beginning of each chapter.  
> This story is plot-heavy, not smut-heavy, so if you're looking for straight smut, this might not be the place to find it!
> 
> Enjoy~

Max  
1:45 PM  
January 18, 2015  
Arcadia Bay, Oregon  
  
Okay  _usually_ I try to stay awake in classes…and _usually_ I succeed. But I couldn’t have heard Mrs. Grant right…right? God, I hoped not… I knew I zoned and there was something about a research project, partners, a change from the usual, but—

“Max? Did you hear me?”

Apparently I did. Fantastic. I ignored the annoying, fake chuckle of Courtney Wagner as I asked Mrs. Grant to repeat herself.

“You’ll be working with Victoria this time, Max,” she replied. Great. So I wasn’t having some sort of bizarrely realistic dream. …nightmare? “Good luck.”

I looked over to what could either be an easy boost to my grade or a death sentence: Victoria Chase, one leg crossed over the other, leaning her head on her hand as she stared at me with one eyebrow raised like she was daring me to object...which she probably was. That’s how things _usually_ went with us, at least. Even a tornado wiping out the town couldn’t change the fact that we were, at the very least, rivals.

She sort of stopped being outright aggressive towards me after the town started rebuilding, though. Different people in on the rumor mill told me it was because I seemed different after the storm, because I was helping to rebuild, or because I was helping _so much_ that I was getting “too popular for it to look good for her to bully me.”

It wasn’t like I didn’t give as good as I got, though. I wasn’t a pushover and, even though I hardly ever “ _won_ ,” I always pushed back. It was like an unspoken game between us before _That Week_ ever happened. But the “game” disappeared entirely after the storm. Things between us pretty much turned into a tense, silent rivalry but there was still a healthy fire in our eyes if we ever got paired up or pitted against each other for a project.

Mrs. Grant barely got each pair’s subject assigned before the bell rang. She ushered the class out the door with an assignment sheet and the expectation that each pair would have a concept for their project and meet at least once before next class.

* * *

My pulse spiked when I heard an all-too-familiar pattern of high heels growing closer behind me. I expected Victoria to e-mail me, or _maybe_ text if she was in a good mood, but I guess she felt urgent enough about the project to take what I’m sure was still _some_ sort of social risk if she was seen walking back to the dorms with me. I sighed as she came up beside me and matched my pace.

“So.”

I thought she was beginning something but a quick glance to my left showed that she was just watching me, walking with her Bio book and assignment sheet hugged to her chest.

“Um…hey, Victoria,” I began. “Science project, right?” She huffed and rolled her eyes.

“Yes, Max. Science project.” I could see a spark of annoyance in her features already and resisted the urge to wipe my hand down my face. This was going to be a long fucking project, I could feel it already.

“We got—”

“Why don’t we meet—”

We both stopped and glared at each other.

“Go ahead, Victoria.”

“ _Thanks_. I was _going_ to say why don’t we meet tonight in the library. You’re done with classes at like...four. Right?” I wasn’t sure how she _knew_ that but I did my best to sweep that tidbit of information under the rug.

“I…yeah, I do. When did you have in mind?”

“Six o’clock. Sharp. Don’t be late. I’ll meet you near the encyclopedias.” With that, she turned on her heel and continued her brisk walk to the dorms.

Ooookay.

* * *

Once I reached my room, I haphazardly pushed the door shut behind me, let my messenger bag slide off my shoulder to the floor with a thud, and flopped backwards onto my bed. I sighed. Almost an entire week of trying to work with _Victoria Chase_ lay ahead of me. We weren’t even into the actual work of the “group” project and my head already hurt.

It was my free period, which gave me a little bit of time to think and maybe relax if I could manage to get my mind off of my impending doom. The last time Victoria and I worked on something _together_ was before _That Week_ happened. Since then, we were somehow always placed in separate groups, got to pick our own groups, or were pitted _against_ each other. It was as if this school had a sick sense of humor, constantly feeding the fire between us. …maybe it did.

To be fair, things between us weren’t as bad as they seemed, even in the beginning. Okay, maybe for a little bit they were, but that didn’t last as long as people thought. I was still nervous about how this project would go down and what version of Victoria Chase I’d be encountering but it was largely because of reasons other than worrying about her bullying me.

When I first got to Blackwell, I found out rather quickly via eavesdropping that there was a _totally_ impenetrable social hierarchy…and that the number one spot was occupied by this “total bitch” named Victoria Maribeth Chase. I also found out that she was allegedly beautiful, talented, and more than aware of how to verbally rip you limb from limb to remind you that you’re beneath her.

It wasn’t until my second to last period that I’d first encountered the Queen Bee of Blackwell herself. I was on time but a handful of students had already gotten settled in the room. Among them were Kate and Alyssa, who I’d met in classes earlier that day, and what was _very_ obviously Victoria and her cronies.

I tried not to stare as I made my way to the open table in the back but it was sort of hard since she was staring right back. I vaguely heard one of the two girls with her snicker about something — probably something about me — but it was really just background noise. Victoria and I locked eyes, sort of, or at least I think we did, and for the rest of the walk to my seat I paid attention to very little else.

The rumors were right, of course. She was beautiful in a way that sort of made you wonder how her genetics were even real. Maybe she was one of those test tube babies where they can pick the baby’s characteristics. She also _oozed_ that “I’m the bitch in charge and you’d better fucking know it” vibe, which make me feel small under her gaze. There was something about her, though, despite all the characteristics she embodied that I _loathe_ about the popular and elite, that drew me in.

I watched her eyes track me across the room, looking me up and down and probably judging the hell out of my non-designer clothing and well-worn messenger bag. When her eyes came back up and met mine again, just as I was sitting down, though…I swear there was something different in the way she looked at me. Whatever it was made her lips part and her eyes widen ever so slightly. It was a very slight change but it was there.

I’ll admit that the look in her eyes made me want to aggressively jump her bones. Like…in the classroom. The feeling boggles my mind — it was completely out of character for me but I felt it. She thought she was hot shit, ruling the school and judging me on first sight. I wanted to make her think again. Who was she to judge people like that? Who did she think she was, going around acting like she was untouchable, always pristine? Those kinds of people _always_ bugged me and I _always_ wanted to do something to wipe their smug, bougie smiles off their faces. It just so happens that I am very gay and Victoria Chase is _very_ attractive.

I broke out of my reminiscent haze when my phone vibrated to let me know I needed to head out for my final class of the day. Did I really want to go, though? I was about waist deep in thoughts of how things were with Victoria in the past and I didn’t see my nerves getting better any time soon…so I dismissed the alarm and plopped my phone back onto the bed. My thoughts instantly jumped back to Victoria. _Jesus, I need to get laid…_

The thing about the dynamic between Victoria and I before _That Week_ happened was that it was definitely based on some sort of arbitrary, unspoken rules that were probably too abstract for me to even enumerate. It was like a game, almost, that started the first time she ever really approached me — which surprised me in and of itself.

* * *

The very first time Victoria Chase bullied me will forever be imprinted on my mind, I’m sure. It was actually later on during my first day there, which is why I was surprised — it happened fast. I was sure she was going to avoid me like the plague and ridicule me from afar like she did with most of the other non-Vortex Club students. Instead, after my last class of the day, I closed my locker and turned around to see her walking towards me.

Taylor and Courtney were close behind but with a simple hand gesture they stopped and stayed across the hall. I remember thinking they were obviously trained like dogs. Sporting her patent look that’s halfway between a glare and exasperated annoyance, Victoria approached me with arms crossed.

“So you’re Max Caulfield.”

I gripped the strap of my messenger bag in one hand and nodded. She might have seemed just like a typical pretty rich girl from across the class in Photography but standing face to face with her, glaring in three-inch heels, I actually felt intimidated.

“How did someone like _you_ end up in a prestigious school like _Blackwell_ ? I bet your parents couldn’t even afford the drive here.” The caustic tone of her voice made my insides boil. I might’ve been a few inches shorter in my Converse but nobody talks shit about my family. They work _hard_ and spend their money _wisely_. I glared at her.

“Leave my family out of it,” I warned quietly. The thought that maybe I shouldn’t antagonize the Queen Bee on my very first day crossed my mind but she was still leaning towards me, making me feel like she was towering over me with the few inches she had on me. I hated it.

“Oh, did I hit a nerve?” She asked, voice airy and sarcastic as she leaned back and chuckled, backed up by giggles from Taylor and Courtney across the hall. “I guess the rumors _are_ true, then. You’re just a little scholarship kid that _Mark_ felt _sorry_ for and let in out of _pity_.”

 _Oh_ , how that made my blood boil. Normally, despite my hatred of popular kids bullying others and desire to change it, I never stood up for myself. I just didn’t have it in me, the timing wasn’t right, or any multitude of excuses that translate into I was just plain scared. But I was _pissed_. It was my first day at a new school. I didn’t have to be the same kid I’d been in Seattle. I took half a step towards Victoria.

“I got that scholarship out of _hard work_. I got it because I _earned it_. My family’s financial situation — which is none of your _business_ — has nothing to do with the fact that Mark Jefferson found _my_ work appealing enough to honor with a _prestigious scholarship_ from a _prestigious institution_.” By the time I was done speaking, I’d taken another step towards Victoria, eyes narrowed and tone sharp.

Victoria leaned back a bit so she was standing straight instead of leaning over me. Her features lost their sharp, bitchy edge just a little. Her lips parted and her breathing quickened. I kept my glare trained on her and saw a mixture of surprise and curiosity in her eyes. I guess standing up to her was new — and wholly unexpected from me. After a second, there was a spark of frustration in her eyes and her former glare returned.

“Well. You’d do well to know. _I’m_ the top student in that class. You’ll never come _near_ my level of skill and you’ll _never_ beat me in Mark’s eyes.” Her sentences were short, punctuated by tiny silences that left no doubt in her convictions. The way she said Jefferson’s name bugged me. A lot.

“ _Mr. Jefferson_ will grade things _fairly_ , I’m sure. And I’m _not_ looking to compete.” I crossed my arms.

“Then enjoy your place at the _bottom_ , loser,” she spat, leaning in a little again. By this point, I was running off of pure instinct and anger. I took another half-step in, leaving no more than half a foot between us. I maintained my glare and narrowed my eyes. Photography was my _forte_. My prime _passion_. First my family, then the one thing I truly felt passionate and happy about anymore? No fucking way.

“I have no intention to be at the bottom of _anything_ , Victoria,” I spat in return, voice steady and low. I heard her breathing hitch. She gripped her crossed arms tighter.

“I... _whatever_.” She turned away quickly and gestured for her minions to follow her down the hall and out of the building but not before I saw a little red in her cheeks. I remember feeling confused but satisfied that I’d stood up to her.

* * *

My mind drifted towards other memories of my first couple of months at Blackwell but, before I could delve into any of them, my phone vibrated. I swiped the notification to open the Facebook message.

Victoria Chase: u coming or what

Fuck. What _time_ was it? I looked to the top of the screen. 6:02pm. Ugh. Of course I’d get lost in thought and not set an alarm to go to the library. ...and of _course_ Victoria would get on my case if I was even two minutes late.

Max Caulfield: yeah sorry one sec  
Max Caulfield: I’ll be there asap  
Victoria Chase: whatever

This project was going to be _such_ a joy.


	2. Chapter 2

Max  
6:24 PM  
January 18, 2015  
Arcadia Bay, Oregon  
  
I hurriedly sat across from Victoria at one of the longer tables in the encyclopedia section, haphazardly splaying my book, notebook, and pencil case across the surface. Victoria huffed and gave a disapproving glare.

“You’re _late_.”

_I was already painfully aware of that, Captain Obvious_.

“I told you not to be _late_.” The venom in her voice irked me but I did my best just to ignore it and move on with our homework.

“Sooo...invertebrates.”

Victoria nodded and pulled a book out of the small stack she had next to her. She flipped open to a page she’d already bookmarked. It looked like she’d already done some work — more than my twenty-four minute lateness would provide time for.

“Yeah. Specifically, isopods.”

“Isopods?” I didn’t remember reading that on the slip Mrs. Grant handed out.

“Uh, yeah, Max. It says right here.” She pulled out her assignment sheet and pointed at the small paragraph Mrs. Grant had included on the slip. Figures. I only read the bolded text at the top — I hadn’t gotten to the rest yet. I skimmed the paragraph.

“...oh.”

“ _Yeah_ , 'oh.' Didn’t you read the slip at _all_? Jesus.”

“I...read the bolded text. I hadn’t gotten the chance to read the rest yet.”

“Hadn’t gotten the chance? You were in your room the _entire_ _evening_. Don’t think I didn’t notice you skipping. Your music gave you away.” Fuck. I forgot that she had a free period.

“Well...maybe I had something better to do.” She rolled her eyes.

“Doubt it.” Even though her tone was sharp and her eyes held a sarcastic glare, one corner of her mouth twitched up in a smirk. _So it’s the side of Victoria that likes to tease. I can live with that...I think._

“I’m sure you’re just dying to know,” I replied, tone somewhere between sarcastic and monotone. She sighed curtly and spun the encyclopedia around so I could read it.

“Here are some lists of examples of invertebrates. These,” she pointed towards the lower right corner, “are the isopods. I’m not a big _fan_ of these things, so. I figured you would be okay with choosing.”

“Why aren’t we just googling some?” I asked, wondering why she wanted to stick to this tiny list.

“Well. I _figured_ it would narrow things down. And there are already entries for all of those in this series of encyclopedias.”

“I guess that makes sense,” I murmured as I pored over the list. It was just a few examples, so it wasn’t very long, but there were probably about ten to choose from. The project had to stand out in order to get a good grade and put us in a good place in the class, so I had to pick wisely. None of them were very appealing — I couldn’t blame Victoria for being so unenthused.

“Oh hey, pill bugs are on here.”

“Yeah. Do you want to do those?” She sounded a little exasperated. She probably didn’t share my opinion on them but _I_ at least thought they were kind of cute back in elementary school.

“I mean...kind of, yeah. We did a unit on them in elementary school here. I...actually kinda liked it.” She rolled her eyes.

“Of course you do, weirdo. Whatever. That’s good. Now we know where to start.” She pushed a couple of books to the side and brought a different encyclopedia out. She flipped to a bookmarked page in it — the entry on pill bugs. Or _Armadillidiidae_ , as the entry denoted.

“Jesus, what a mouthful.”

“Um, yeah. Have fun saying _that_ in the presentation because there’s no way I am,” she replied.

“Oh, I am _not_ going to be the only one doing the oral presentation, Victoria.” _You’re not getting out of that one so easily_.

“Fine,” she huffed. “But _you’re_ going to do _most_ of the talking.” I rolled my eyes.

“Sure, sure. That just means you have to do _your_ fair share of the rest of the work.”

“Fine,” she reiterated.

“Deal.”

* * *

In the end, we decided to forego the typical Powerpoint format, since that’s what all the lazy people did every single project. We’d still be presenting information with visual aides, like the assignment said, but we’d be doing so with a more traditional approach — physical slides we could reference and leave up while supplementing it with video on the projector. Our general hope was that Mrs. Grant would appreciate the deviation from the norm and give us some extra points there.

The meeting itself was tense despite a few jabs from Victoria I think were almost playful. It was as if we were both afraid to push each other too much, though I think I was the more anxious one. She might have stopped bullying me outright but that didn’t mean she didn’t still make the difference in our social statuses apparent verbally from time to time. Because of that, I still tended to tread carefully with my words — especially jokes. “Don’t poke the hornet’s nest” and all that.

All in all, we were in the library for nearly two hours. Because it was eight o’clock by the time we left, all of the buildings were closed for the night but the dorms. The walk back was quiet, though some of the earlier tension bled away with the relief of making it through the meeting without a catfight. I think a lot of that had to do with the fact that I gave Victoria most of the control over delegating tasks and how we were going to organize our information.

“Where’s your mind at, space cadet?” She asked in her usual, slightly condescending tone, pulling me out of thoughts over our plans.

“Honestly? Thinking about the project,” I replied. She snorted quietly.

“Figures. Nerd.”

“Hey, _you’re_ the one who got all excited over coming up with new ways to present information in a _science class_.”

“Shut up, Caulfield. It’s not like you were any less excited yourself.” I looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

“You sure about that?”

“You could’ve fooled me.”

“Huh. Well, then. I _think_ you might be...dare I say it...wrong, Victoria.” I let a hint of friendliness slip into my voice, hoping it would help. This could go one of two ways — either she could take the joke and roll with it or she could bite my head off, effectively ending whatever tenuous balance we’d achieved with the project. She let out an exaggerated gasp.

“Perish the thought.”

“You? Victoria Chase? Wrong? I _know_.”

“Well. Don’t let anyone hear or I’ll have your head, Smallfield.” Ice crept back in her voice as she held the door to the dorms open for me, looking around briefly. I chuckled.

“I doubt they’d believe me, anyway.”

“That’s right. They wouldn’t.” Her tone was firm but there was a ghost of a smile creeping around the edges of her lips.

The rest of the walk through the dorm was quiet between us. There were quite a few people still milling about since it was so early. Other people in our Bio class didn’t think twice but we did draw the attention of a few students who didn’t know we’d been paired up for a project. Victoria must have noticed because she let another foot or two of space grow between us. I got the hint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know! An update much sooner than scheduled! (Don't expect this to be a regular thing, I can't predict what life's gonna throw at me.) I mainly wanted to get this up because it's a little shorter and serves as set-up for the first Victoria chapter, which you'll see next week. I am doing my best to write ahead of schedule in order to have a chapter or two under my belt in case something happens and I don't have as much time to write in a week, though, so if I get far enough ahead bonus updates might become more common.
> 
> Thank you for all of the positive feedback so far!


	3. Chapter 3

Victoria  
8:09 PM  
January 18, 2015  
Arcadia Bay, Oregon  
  
I closed and locked the door to my room behind me and leaned against it for a minute. _Well. That could have gone a lot worse_. The meeting with Caulfield was...not too bad, actually. I don’t know why she was so into doing those weirdo “pill bugs” for our project but it took a lot of pressure off of _my_ shoulders. I put my bag and the books I’d picked up at the library on my coffee table.

I sat on the couch and sighed, pulling out my phone — which I’d had on silent while working on the project. Two hours of silence meant way too many notifications and missed messages, no doubt about people looking to make plans for the night. It was only Wednesday but that didn’t stop the Vortex Club from trying to get up to something.

Sure enough, there were 50+ new messages in the “VORTEX CLUB ONLY BITCHESSSS” group chat. A lot of it was run-of-the-mill: Hayden asking Nathan for weed, Taylor trying to get people to sneak out with her...I rolled my eyes and skipped all the way to the bottom so it’d say I’d seen the messages. Which I hadn’t but...that wasn’t important. Not really.

I slid my phone onto the coffee table and leaned back, pinching the bridge of my nose. A week of working with Max Caulfield, of all people. Better her than _Warren_ but still no easy task. That meant a week of having to deal with her, alone, every day for like...at least an hour. I tilted my head back and sighed. _Fuck you, Mrs. Grant. Go choke on a pine nut_.

* * *

I didn’t want to leave my room for the rest of the night. I kept getting messages on my phone but I wasn’t interested. I was fucking exhausted. I just wanted to be left alone and go to sleep early, hopefully. If the stress of this stupid project didn’t keep me up. Which...it could, with the way my thoughts kept going back to it — and to Max.

Even though I didn’t _actively_ bully Max anymore, it was no secret that the two of us still didn’t get along. We still went at each other verbally a lot. That kept our tense rivalry fueled. It was enough that other students, other than the Vortex Club, of course, were wary if we were ever in close proximity or forced to talk to each other. They weren’t all-out fights but they certainly weren’t nice debates or discussions, either.

The thought of having to meet with her every night for a week really gave me a headache. There were so many things that could go wrong and _so_ many things I’d have to deal with. Being around Max always put me on edge. She was sharp and unpredictable and that kept becoming more and more her normal thing.

She wasn’t always like that. When she first got to Blackwell, she was this shy, nervous thing and tried to blend into the background to avoid pretty much all of the Vortex Club except for like...Dana. Well, she _tried_ but I didn’t let her. Even though she pushed back when I bullied her then, her attitude was nothing compared to what it developed into once she got out of her shell.

* * *

After gracefully ignoring and avoiding everyone who was trying to get me to go out tonight and posting some inane shit that they’d eat up like gospel, I got up off the couch and walked over to my bed. I plugged my phone in on my nightstand and started to change into my pajamas.

My thoughts kept drifting back to Max...which wasn’t new but the project _really_ kept her on my mind. I thought about her a lot. From the minute she walked into Photography for the first time, my thoughts kept drifting back to her.

It wasn’t like she was anything special. She wasn’t, really. At least not on the outside. But I felt drawn to her anyway. It was stupid. It infuriated me. So I pushed her away harder than anyone else. Or...I tried to. But she saw through me. Instantly. It was like she just...knew, somehow, that...if, for some reason, she was in the position to tell me to do something, I’d probably roll over like a fucking dog for her.

I looked in the mirror of my vanity, studying my body in the reflection. I knew the whole school was envious but I didn’t see the appeal. I recognized the stereotypical characteristics of beauty were something I had but it seemed so _average_. So expected. I sighed. That’s where Max lucked out. She _wasn’t_ average. Her thrift shop wardrobe definitely didn’t help her case at all but she started collecting a few pieces in her wardrobe that were more flattering. Forever 21 and H &M shit, so still dirt cheap, but it was better than jeans that might’ve been from the men’s section at Goodwill and hoodies that swallowed her tiny frame alive.

Max wasn’t some goddess by any stretch but she did have notable features. Things you’d remember. Things _I_ remember. A lot. Freckles across the bridge of her nose, even though she’d started to hide them sometimes with makeup. Tired eyes that felt like they looked through you. I didn’t have that. I was just...a cookie cutter. A product of generations of “strategic marriage” both financially and for physical characteristics they wanted to see in their children. It paid to be beautiful, of course. But looking great didn’t always make you _memorable_. I wanted that. I didn’t want to be remembered for being flawless — although I did pride myself on that quite a lot. I wanted to be remembered because I’d remind someone of something, or people would see me or my personality in things.

But I wasn’t allowed that. I scowled at my reflection and turned away, finishing my nightly routine. It had quieted down a lot in the hall during that time, so I felt like I could probably go brush my teeth without Courtney or Taylor stopping me and asking me why I didn’t go out tonight. _Hell, knowing them, they’re probably still out anyway._

I poked my head out into the hall and I was right. There was nobody milling around still. Dana and Juliet still had their door open and I could hear quiet music coming from their room but, other than that, there was nothing going on. Drawing my robe around me, I picked up my toothbrush and toothpaste and headed towards the bathroom.

As I pushed the door to the bathroom open, I heard a door open and close behind me. _Great_. _Now I’ll probably get stuck talking to someone about some stupid Vortex Club details_. I rolled my eyes. That was pretty much the _last_ thing I wanted to do right now. As I leaned down to wet my toothbrush, the door to the bathroom opened.

In walked, of all people, Max Caulfield. My look of annoyance turned into a full-on glare before I directed my attention back to the task at hand. This was _so_ not what I needed right now. I felt her eyes on me. Before putting my toothbrush in my mouth, I glanced over at her. She was standing a couple of sinks to my right, looking a little stuck.

“Take a picture, Caulfield. It lasts longer.”

She blinked hard and turned to wash her hands.

“You don’t have to be so aggressive, you know,” she said. “There’s nobody around.”

I inhaled sharply. _Why did I have to be_ nice _to her during our meeting? Ugh. I always complicate things for myself. Good fucking job, Victoria_. I hated that she could do that — see through the mask I put on in front of others, and tried to put on in front of her. It was getting harder, especially as she became more and more comfortable in her new social role.

“Whatever,” I mumbled as I rinsed my toothbrush off and started to rinse my mouth. It was an automatic defense. Dismissive and usually final. She chuckled, drying her hands off with a paper towel.

“What happened, Vic? You didn’t seem to mind so much tonight during our meeting.” I turned and glared at her.

“Well maybe I should have.” Really. Maybe I fucking should have. Because I just wanted her to get out of my head — from both my thoughts and her reading me so well. She could get under my skin so easily. My blood was already simmering.

“Oh yeah? And why’s that?” She asked, leaning against the sink with her arms crossed. I looked past her at the bathroom door. She was between me and the one exit I had. I looked back at her, eyes narrowed.

“Because you’re still _trash_ compared to me. Do you know what being seen with you would still do to my reputation? You might have friends now, Caulfield, but I’m not one of them.” I quickly walked past her and left the bathroom, almost running into her shoulder with mine. I heard her sigh behind me as the door swung shut but she didn’t say anything or call after me. _Good_.

* * *

I knew that I still was very hot and cold with Max. The display in the bathroom was a perfect example of it and I hated it. She was right. I _was_ fine and joked a lot during our meeting once the ice was broken and we were speaking freely about the project. We even walked back to the dorms together. And then I went and had to act like _that_. My only excuse was that she’d been on my mind for hours and I wanted it to stop. But it wasn’t like I could just _say_ that. I did my best not to let anyone know how much she was on my mind.

Of course, that only made it worse for me. Now I had _that_ to reflect on, too, as I laid in bed trying to get some sleep. Sometimes thoughts of Max at night weren’t so bad. Sometimes they were good. But it was hell trying to figure out how I was going to survive this week. It was day one and I already got snippy with her.

In my defense, she directly poked at the fact that we had been civil and maybe even on the edge of friendly during the meeting. Something I really didn’t want to pay attention to. It was easy in the moment to get caught up in her banter. Even when I bullied her in the beginning, she was able to talk circles around me and twist my words around cleverly. She just had a way with words that I didn’t. Even if I spent time at my desk thinking of different ways to push her or put her down.

Being aggressive towards Max was like a drug, almost. The way she’d respond was always intense. Ever since our rivalry was established the day she walked into Blackwell and she responded to my direct challenge to be the better photographer, she gave as good as she got. And somehow, if I poked and prodded at her and pushed the right buttons, there was this fire inside of her that gave her an edge to her voice that was just...intoxicating.

I’d never admit it to anyone, of course. The only other person who knew was Nathan. I think Taylor had her suspicions but, under the guise of a photography rivalry, fixating on Max and putting her down made enough sense with how competitive I could get. Courtney was oblivious, but what else was new, and the rest of the Vortex Club didn’t hear much of it. When Max got that edge in her voice the very first time and told me she’d never be “at the bottom of anything,” she had me reeling and my mind going a mile a minute, running away with ideas and images of things I never let show. Not to anyone. At least not since _Rachel_.

That was something else about Max that drove me insane. I hadn’t felt anything like this since Rachel and I didn’t want to. Ever again. And I was doing _fine_ until she came along. But in she walked, this cute little waif of a loser, and it was like that vow to myself didn’t even exist. And I _hated_ that. She couldn’t just...wander into Blackwell and get to me just by fucking existing. That’s not what I applied to Blackwell for and _not_ something that usually happened to me.

* * *

Even with Rachel, it wasn’t immediate. She had to draw me in. Much like she drew that loser punk bitch in. And I had no idea what was really going on for so long. When _Chloe Price_ showed up at Blackwell after Rachel ditched on me and Taylor to go to that concert where they met, Rachel told me they were just friends and that’s all they wanted to be. Maybe at the time she wasn’t lying but she kept up the lie long after it became one.

Nobody knows it but Nathan, of course, but Rachel and I were dating then. I could tell she thought that Price girl was cute, and I agreed to some extent, so I asked if Rachel wanted to do some sort of poly thing. She said no and that’s when she started insisting they were “just friends.” Well. That wasn’t true at all. Everyone knew they were getting close and I thought Price was a terrible influence on Rachel. Here she was, the socialite of Blackwell and everyone’s fucking idol, cutting class and causing problems with someone who got expelled.

I tried to tell her to stop doing that shit. But she didn’t listen. It didn’t take me long to find out why. At one of the first Vortex Club parties of the year, I caught them making out outside. Rachel had been so much to me. She was my second relationship and the first one where any serious feelings were involved without them developing because of necessity. And I caught her shitfaced, making out with a skater burnout against the wall of the fucking gym.

I broke things off instantly. And closed myself off a _lot_ more than I had anyway. Chloe wasn’t the only one Rachel had been fucking around with and to some of them _I_ was considered someone she was fucking around with. Nobody understood my hatred towards her or where it came from but it didn’t matter. I was already climbing the social ranks and getting ahead of her with the Vortex Club with all the time she spent out with burnout losers like Chloe Price and the local drug dealer Frank Bowers.

So when Max walked in and I felt like I wanted to find out what made her smile and what was underneath that stupid hoodie...I was furious. Mostly at myself but I projected it onto her. And I’ve done that ever since. It was stupid. I couldn’t believe it had happened so easily. There were plenty of other girls I thought were cute or pretty but I really didn’t care. And there she is, Max fucking Caulfield, just minding her own hipster business and I’m fucking fascinated. And then I go to put her in her fucking place so she stays away from me and knows that I’m the Queen of that trash heap and...she says shit that sounds a _lot_ like an innuendo. Seriously. I took it that way. Whether she meant it that way or not I didn’t know but with the way she said it and the way she kept pushing back after that...I think I was right. Of course, I _could_ have just been turning things around in my head. But it really seemed like she was playing games with me.

Those games only burned thoughts of Max even further into my mind. By the time _she_ met...or reunited with, I guess...that punk loser Price I was a fucking mess. So really, as much fun as it was to play those games, I was also relieved when I could stop keeping up the facade of really wanting to put her down. The less contact I had with her the better. Especially since she started dating Chloe Price, who followed her around like a lost puppy.

This week was going to be hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Victoria's a mess over Max. She kinda always has been. It'll be fun to write down how that interaction in the bathroom affects their dynamic for the rest of the project...
> 
> I'm still going to try my best to update every Monday (or sooner) but my absolute, will-never-be-longer-than-this commitment to you guys is every other Monday, just to give myself some time in case something comes up.


	4. Chapter 4

Max  
12:47 PM  
January 19, 2015  
Arcadia Bay, Oregon  
  
I was walking down the hall to Photography, texting Chloe about our plans for after I was done with classes. She was thinking maybe we could spend the evening together and I could stay over at her apartment but I told her it would have to be after I met with Victoria for our project. We had to write our proposal tonight because each pair was supposed to present one to Mrs. Grant tomorrow. Chloe wasn’t too happy that I’d be spending all this time with Victoria. I couldn’t blame her, though.

Victoria’s feelings for me were pretty apparent, I thought. Or at least they were apparent to me after the way we used to interact along with what I found out while snooping around during That Week. So Chloe knew about them. She and Victoria had bad blood between them because of Rachel and she was afraid of Victoria doing to her what Rachel did to Victoria — stealing me away from her. Fat chance in hell. But again, I couldn’t blame her for feeling a little paranoid. She trusted me, she just didn’t trust Victoria. After placating Chloe and promising her that everything would be fine, it would just be an hour and then I could come over, I put my phone in my pocket and set my eyes on the open door to the Photography classroom.

Texting had slowed my pace a little since I wasn’t that great at multitasking so I wasn’t entirely surprised to hear the brisk pace of Victoria’s heels coming up behind me. She essentially hovered over my shoulder as we went through the door into the classroom.

“Let’s work on that proposal tonight.” Her voice was low and close to my ear. I could almost _hear_ her eyes shifting around to see if people were watching. “Come to my room after class. But...don’t let anyone see you.”

I rolled my eyes and nodded once. She might have been behind me but I knew she’d know I got the message. I glanced at her once I was at my desk. She was pointedly ignoring me, as was often the case, fiddling with her class supplies on her desk and angling her body away from me. That, at least, was somewhat uncommon — usually, she’d at least have her body angled in my general direction, leaning on the desk with her head resting on her hand. If she didn’t want people to know we were working together, she was going a little above and beyond the call of duty, if you asked me.

Although the two of us working _together_ was generally unprecedented, it wasn’t like us walking into or out of class near one another was totally unheard of. We lived right across the hall from each other still, so it would make sense for us to get to or from class in the same timeframe. The lengths this girl would go to in order to protect her street cred blew my mind sometimes.

* * *

Victoria was up and out of the classroom almost immediately when class was dismissed. She hardly even waited for Taylor to catch up. It was really silly, I thought, for her to be so avoidant. I felt like her being so avoidant of me would stick out more than if she let things stay status quo. Even if that meant she and I would walk side by side every now and then when our project was involved. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s not like people would start associating us together or thinking we’d started hanging out. But when did Victoria Chase _ever_ make things simple?

I sighed and grabbed my bag, walking at a leisurely pace back to the dorms. I figured, if she was so worried about people seeing me go to her room, I could at least appease her by lagging back and waiting for people to mostly get to where they needed to be. I needed to put my Photography stuff in my room and grab my notes and laptop for our meeting, anyway, so that would buy me a little extra time.

Once I got up to our hall, I saw that I’d timed things right, pretty much. It was quiet for the most part and Victoria’s door was closed. I went into my room and quickly took my books for the last two classes I’d had out of my bag, swapping them for my laptop, book, and notes from Bio. I figured I should probably take advantage of the quiet hall to slip into Victoria’s room. I rolled my eyes. _I feel like I’m trying to sneak out of my house or something, oh my god_.

Peering out into the hallway, it was pretty much perfect timing as I watched Dana go into her room and the rest of the hall was empty. I hurried across the hall, knocking twice before letting myself in. Yeah, I could’ve waited for a response, but I honestly didn’t want to risk it — and Victoria knew I was coming.

I hadn’t been in her room since the dorms got rebuilt but it was pretty much the same as it had been. She’d actually taken the time — or had someone else take the time, probably — to paint her walls darker again. Her bed was in the far right corner up against the wall and under a window. In the opposite corner was her desk, facing the other window. She still had a big TV along that wall but now it was centered and there was a vanity to the left of it. Her closet was now on the right side of the room, the one major change they’d made when rebuilding, I guess. Her couch was at the end of her bed, a few feet away from her closet, and there was a modern black, glass-top coffee table in front of it. Victoria was sitting on the couch, leaning over her laptop, and glanced up at me when I walked in. She narrowed her eyes and huffed.

“Come on in, Caulfield, make yourself at home,” she said in a sing-songy, mocking voice. I rolled my eyes.

“Oh, please. Like you’d want someone to see you _actually_ open your door and let me in,” I countered. She leaned back onto her couch, moving over slightly and patting the spot beside her.

“You’re right,” she conceded. “Now let’s get this proposal taken care of. I have _better_ things to be doing.” _Of course you do, Victoria. Spending an hour with your favorite loser isn’t—_ “Well? Are you just going to stand there?” I shook myself out of my thoughts.

“Sorry, right.” I sat on the couch next to her, consciously keeping a good few inches between us, and placed my bag on the floor, leaning it up against one leg of her coffee table. I pulled my laptop out of my bag and placed it next to hers on the coffee table, trying to get the placement right the first time so I didn’t have to worry about the little rubber feet on the bottom of it sliding on the glass and leaving streaks. I opened it up and opened the document I had on my desktop with some ideas for the proposal. She opened up what I assumed was a similar document.

“These are some of the ideas I had for our project. I was thinking we could like...include some of them specifically in the proposal but leave some of them out. So Mrs. Grant doesn’t know _everything_ we’re doing right away.” I nodded. Her document had more bullet points than mine did but I had more complete sentences that I could put directly into the proposal. A couple of her ideas mirrored mine, actually.

“Cool. Yeah, that makes sense. I feel like we came up with some of the same things, which is good.” _Makes selling some of them to her much easier_.

“Well. We aren’t rivals for nothing,” she replied. I couldn’t quite read her tone so I hazarded a glance over at her. There was a hint of a smirk on her lips and her eyes were a little playful, maybe challenging. _Hmm...what route do I want to go with this?_

“You know what they say about great minds,” I settled on, matching her facial expression. Her smirk grew a little, and lasted, but the playfulness in her eyes was gone just a moment later. She turned her attention back to her laptop and opened up Chrome.

“Why don’t we use Google Docs for our proposal and notes from now on?” She asked, though it sounded closer to a statement. “That way we don’t end up writing identical things when we could save some time this way.”

“And we can build off of each other’s ideas as we go,” I agreed. I opened Chrome on my laptop and opened up Google Docs.

“I’ll send you an invite. I already started a document.” Seconds later, I got an e-mail with a link to Victoria’s document. Of course her document on her desktop wasn’t all she had, how naive of me to think it was. The document I opened up, while nowhere near complete, had sort of the skeletal beginnings of a proposal along with more fleshed-out ideas and a few references.

“Well then,” I started. “Getting the party started without me, I see.” She let out one short breath that I _think_ was a chuckle.

“Oh, yes, the most exciting Vortex Club party of the year, not that you’d know anything about that.”

“Hey now, this one looks like it has _science_ involved. You’d think I might know about _that_ one, at least,” I replied, glancing at her with a smirk while transferring some of my ideas into the Google Doc. She smiled back — a ghost of one, for sure, but it was there. I fought back the urge to turn my smirk into a smile, too. I didn’t want to risk upsetting the balance we were finding.

“Well, I suppose you must _periodically_ look at the _table_ of events…” My hands froze over the touchpad. _Did she just make a pun?_ I looked at her, slightly slack-jawed.

“Did you just make a pun?”

“So what if I did,” she said in a tone that clearly meant to drop it. She turned to look back at her screen, a hint of red showing in her cheeks but not sporting a frown or glare. _Victoria Chase just made a pun. A_ science _pun._ I looked back at my own screen. _Wow_.

Shut the fuck up about that or I swear to god. 

The words appeared before my eyes in the Doc. I chuckled under my breath.

Oh, who am I gonna tell? 

Oh I don’t know. ANYONE? 

I shook my head slightly.

Legit I don’t think anyone I would tell would say shit to anyone about 

Words started to appear on the screen before I could finish typing my reply.

Oh like your punk girlfriend wouldn’t have a fucking field day with that. Don’t even try Max. 

Okay, okay! I won’t tell Chloe, _jesus_ , Vic. 

I looked over at her with one eyebrow raised as if to say, “happy?”

Good.

On the one hand, I _really_ wanted to tell Chloe about that. On the other, Victoria _really_ seemed like she wanted this to stay between us and I couldn’t entirely blame her — I don’t think I’d ever heard _anything_ like that out of her before. Puns were strictly my territory, definitely not something she’d ever associate herself with.

I looked at her again with a small smile. She returned it without any — well, without _much_ ice behind her eyes. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad, after all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I uploaded this on Monday I am so sorry!
> 
> You might notice that I bumped up the rating to E and added a few tags. There is definitely a reason for that update in here, I'm not just stringing you along...make sure you do double-check the tags, though, in case there may be anything new that bothers you. You also may notice I dropped the Major Character Death tag. I've decided that, given the length of the plot that I already know, I'll be breaking some of it up into a series. The events that lead up to a death in the storyline won't be happening during this fic. So hopefully you can breathe a bit easier for now!

Victoria  
5:14 PM  
January 19, 2015  
Arcadia Bay, Oregon  
  
Max and I spent most of the rest of the afternoon working on the project actually. She left after getting something like three phone calls from her girlfriend. But...we were able to get a lot done. And for that I was grateful. Less to do later on my own. The proposal was done and I printed it, ready to hand it over to Mrs. Grant. Hopefully to get good feedback. I was sure we would. The way we planned to present our project wasn’t the boring Powerpoint and notecard method so...even just that should get us a good score on the proposal part. We just had to nail actually _doing_ it.

It was...admittedly fun working with Max. As long as we could keep getting along she was funny and...not that weird. It was hard to keep my walls up around her. Especially when she’d make jokes that I knew I could respond to but she’d point out my responses as out of character for me. Which was true but I didn’t _want_ her to see me any way other than the Queen of the Vortex Club, way beyond her social rank and _not_ someone who would relax and get close to someone like her. Even if that’s what I wanted underneath.

I finally went over and got my phone off my nightstand. Unlocking it, I found the Vortex Club group chat full again and a few texts from Taylor and Courtney. They were looking for me but knew I had told them I had to work on “a stupid project for Bio with Caulfield.” They wondered what was taking so long. There were no jokes involved, thankfully, but Taylor definitely seemed suspicious. Fuck.

Taylor was always on my case about how I treated Caulfield. Not because she thought I should stop, I don’t think she’d ever speak up about something like _that_ , but because it was different from how I treated other people we put down. Yes, the situation with Kate was...extreme. But that was on Courtney. Things with Max were always...unclear. I was too inconsistent and I cursed myself for it. And Taylor questioned me for it.

Sometimes, I wasn’t as hard on or about Max as other times. And that was more noticeable in the past, before the whole town got eaten by a massive tornado, but it still happened now and Taylor still noticed it. Back then, I would go from backing her into the lockers or loudly pronouncing her flaws when she’d walk by to ignoring her or telling Taylor and Courtney not to bother that day.

Courtney just thought that I was giving Max the silent treatment because it was some tactic as if I was trying to make her feel like she didn’t exist or something. Courtney wasn’t the brightest. Taylor, though. Taylor was a different story. We’d known each other a little longer and much better. We’d become fast friends and she was probably the closest thing I had to a real friend who didn’t know me just from the image I project other than Nathan.

She never said it directly, but I think Taylor knew I had feelings for Max. She would point out whenever I treated Max differently and ask if I was okay or if something had changed. After I couldn’t outright bully Max anymore, she asked less, but that’s probably because we started ignoring Max more instead of attacking her. Taylor had texted me separately from the group chat we had with Courtney and asked if she should find something to occupy Courtney that evening so she would stop bothering me and Max — if I “needed the space,” that is.

I looked at my watch and the time stamp on the text. 5:22 PM and the text was sent at 3:47. Fuck. Me and Max spent literally three hours together. Like...we were working, yes, but still. Three hours. And at least two people knew. If anyone else was looking for me and they asked Courtney I bet she opened her big fucking mouth and said I was working on something with Max. And threw in her own opinion about it. She was like me when I was still trying to climb the social ranks...but dumb. And annoying. I don’t know how anyone put up with her, really. I don’t know how _I_ put up with her. I just hoped she mentioned to whoever she blabbed to that it was for a project. If someone like her spread that I was just _hanging out_ with Max Caulfield and Juliet or Hayden caught wind of it...well, I don’t know what would happen.

I closed my eyes and sighed, tilting my head back. I had to tell myself that I wasn’t going to take this out on Max. It wasn’t her fault. At all. We were...just working on our project together. We lost track of time and if there was anyone to blame for that it’d be me. Since Max was always a space cadet anyway. I felt like we made some real progress, not just with the project, and I didn’t want to undo any of it by being a bitch to her just because spending a few hours together looked bad. I had to keep telling myself that to believe it and to resist the urge to text her something shitty but...it was a step, I think.

I looked down at my cell phone screen. It was like the blinking cursor in the reply box to Taylor was taunting me. Scowling, I typed out a reply quickly: “Yeah. I’m fine. Just working, Caulfield isn’t here. But I want to be alone.” I locked my phone and slid it back onto my nightstand, laid back on the bed, and stared at the ceiling. Why was being a high school girl so fucking complicated? Scratch that — why was being a high school _Queen_ so fucking complicated? I was almost positive Max didn’t find this as complicated. She didn’t have all of the social obligations to worry about that I did. _She_ could just go along and say hello to whoever the fuck she pleased and not care about how it looked. Okay, maybe she wouldn’t just like...walk up to me, or Courtney, or Nathan or anyone, but she could go from the skater burnouts to lower Vortex Club members like Dana and nobody would bat an eye. I groaned and put one arm over my eyes.

Okay. There were definitely perks of my position. I could keep my private life private and nobody would dare pry — except for Nathan and _Taylor_ — and I could get pretty much whatever I needed out of the school administration. And anything I _couldn’t_ get, Nathan could, and he’d do it without batting an eye. And even though I might not have been _universally_ liked, I was either liked or people respected my position. It took a lot of pressure off of me, honestly, but it also put other pressures _on_. And those were the ones I hated.

I mean...take things with Max, for example. I couldn’t just go up to her in the hall and ask her what she was doing later. Even when she first got to Blackwell it wasn’t like I could just go up to her and bring her into my circle. It _definitely_ wasn’t like I’d be able to just...ask her out. I groaned at the irony. Me, the girl who could get a date with anyone in the school if I wanted, not able to go on a date with the _one_ person I wanted to go out with. Even if I kept it a secret. Even if she’d be _okay_ keeping it a secret. I grabbed my phone off the nightstand again and rolled over to face the wall. I opened up Facebook and opened Max’s profile, looking at the picture of her and Chloe holding hands in some stupid field she had as her profile pic. Even if we had a chance, I’d never be able to hold her hand anywhere outside the safety of our rooms.

A wave of sadness rolled through me and I found myself swiping through Max’s profile pictures for the hundredth time. Most of them were of her and Chloe together, _ever_ the happy couple. _That could be you, Victoria_ , I found myself thinking. If only I’d been...braver when she first came in. I probably could have passed her off as like...a personal project or something. She obviously had _some_ social ability since she was friends with so many other people. I could have spun it as she just needed the _opportunities_ the Vortex Club could offer or whatever. Maybe. Would anyone have bought that? Whatever.

* * *

I looked at the time on my phone. 8:27 PM. Jesus. Did I really lay in bed here for three hours thinking about Max and Facebook-stalking her? I guess I could believe it. I’d spent just as long actually _with_ her, which seemed to go by just as fast. And it wasn’t like thinking about her for long periods of time in the evening was unheard of for me. At least I’d kept up with group texts and Facebook messages and shit so people — namely _Taylor_ — didn’t get suspicious or try to figure out what was going on with me. It was easy enough to fake interest and enthusiasm — I’d been doing that for basically my entire life.

I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. 8:27. That meant there was still some time left to go to the cafeteria to pick up some sort of dinner but I wasn’t exactly interested. I had some groceries in my room as back-up for when I didn’t feel like trying to get myself to eat whatever shit they were trying to pass off as a “meal.” I’d have something from that, probably.

I closed my eyes. My body felt warm, unsurprisingly. I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed. I _really_ didn’t want to do this again. Okay, I _did_ , but I didn’t. It was like this every time. I _never_ wanted to admit to myself how much that stupid hipster affected me. Or how her soft skin and freckles haunted me whenever I closed my eyes. Or how I could see the perfect blue of her eyes even when I closed mine. Or how fucking _nervous_ she made me when she touched my shoulder or my knee earlier that night when she got really into whatever it was she was saying. _Nobody_ makes me nervous. Nobody. But Max could. Oh my _god_ , Max could. I ran my hand under the hem of my shirt and turned my head away. Was I really going to do this again? I knew the answer, of course. The answer was yes, I was, and I probably would again. I groaned.

“Fucking hell,” I murmured under my breath as I undid my jeans and slid them and my underwear off and tossed them on the floor by the bed. I drew the covers over me, glancing over at my door to make sure I’d remembered to lock it after Max left. I took my shirt off and unclipped my bra, depositing them by the bed as well, and laid back down. I ran one hand down my face, sighing, while I ran the other down my stomach and beyond my hips.

The wetness I found between my legs embarrassed me, which sent a chill down my spine. It always did. Stupid feelings for that stupid hipster, making me nervous and shit. Okay, Max wasn’t _stupid_. She wasn’t stupid at all. I began tracing circles around my clit. Max was _really_ smart, actually. Smarter than she put on, at least. The clueless act, if she even didn’t realize she was doing it, totally did not give off how much she knew or how much she paid attention in class.

Thinking about her in class reminded me of the first day I saw her. I inhaled sharply.  _This, again? Ugh_ … It was a common fantasy of mine with her. I’d gotten off to it at _least_ a hundred times but it kept coming back and it _never_ lost my interest. It made me feel like a dumb slut to get off to it over and over again but I couldn’t help it. I’d wanted it _so bad_ that day and _still_ wanted it. And I’d probably never get it, unfortunately.

The fantasy started simply enough. I was sitting in my seat next to Taylor, listening to her gossip about the new girl. She went on and on about how the girl was a scholarship student, looked like she lived out of Goodwill, was a total retro nerd...the works, just like she’d really said that day. And she was supposed to be in this class, too. I couldn’t wait to see the loser for myself, to see what fresh new shit we could dig into with the Vortex Club.

My back arched a little when I remembered what it was like for Max to walk into class that very first day. Yeah, Taylor was right, her clothes looked second-hand or at least incredibly well-worn. And she definitely had that retro hipster vibe. But we locked eyes and...god, it sounded lame but there was some sort of spark, I swear to god. I suppressed a moan, shivering slightly with embarrassment again. It wouldn’t take much for me to finish, I knew.

Even though we’d locked eyes for a second that day, Max didn’t hold my gaze for very long and glanced over at Taylor for a split second before turning her attention to her own shit. But that gave me long enough to look her up and down. There wasn’t much to see, especially with her outfit, but what I _could_ see was cute. Between that and the way we’d looked at each other, even if it was all in my imagination, it set a fire inside of me that I hadn’t felt in a long time. It wasn’t the kind of lust that made me want to pin her against a wall. It was the _opposite_ , really. I gasped with my teeth clenched as I slid two fingers inside myself.

 _God_ , what I’d wished Max would do to me in that moment. It was probably the most internally reckless moment of my fucking life. I _desperately_ wanted her to put her things down, turn around, and walk over to me. I didn’t care what she’d say — something about me being one of those Vortex Club bitches or something, probably — but she’d stand over me, grabbing me by the wrist and bending me over the desk. I curled my fingers against my g-spot and groaned deeply. I wanted Max to hold my wrist behind my back, forcing my face against the desk as she used her other hand to lift my skirt and rip down my tights and panties before plunging two fingers inside of me in front of _everyone_ , making me moan like a slut.

My release slammed into me, a moan escaping me before I could clasp my free hand over my mouth. It was powerful, making me shudder and groan loudly behind my hand as I imagined it was _Max_ inside of me instead. As I came down from my peak, I gasped slightly, feeling a tear roll down my cheek as I began to cry quietly. That was the biggest problem that came along with wanting her so badly — the emotional aftermath every time I fucked myself hard to the thought of her. And, from the way I was feeling, one _wasn’t_ going to be enough.


	6. Chapter 6

Max  
6:19 PM  
January 19, 2015  
Arcadia Bay, Oregon

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck!_ How did it get to be so fucking _late?_ I drummed my fingers against the bus window impatiently as the driver pulled away from the stop he’d just dropped some people off at. There’d be no chance of me getting back to campus that night after seeing Chloe now. Thank god the bus ran early and I had some stuff over at her apartment for whenever I’d stay with her, it wasn’t about to be the weekend, that’s for sure. How did Victoria and I spend so much time together without going at each other’s throats like vicious animals? We actually almost...got along, I think? I think. Oh, god, though... _Chloe_. She was _not_ happy. I looked through my texts from her again. Message after message of “Max?” “Where are you?” “Are you still with Victoria?” “I swear to god, if Victoria so much as laid a finger on you…” and on and on and on.

I wanted to be frustrated that Chloe was so angry and mistrusting but I had to make myself breathe for a sec and understand her side of things. Like...we both knew Victoria liked me, I wasn’t responding to her messages, I was an hour and a half late by the time she called three times in a row, thus activating my then-silenced ringer...which was a total accident, to be fair. My phone was supposed to be on vibrate, not _silent_. Leave it to me to fuck _that_ up when I really, really shouldn’t.

I knew I had to take the fall for it. I couldn’t fault Chloe for being worried even if I was just doing schoolwork. I text her back in the middle of class, even, so the radio silence would have sucked even _without_ me spending time with the Queen Bee of Blackwell who had a big fat obvious crush on me. And not just some time, _three hours_ of time. I sighed quietly. _Stupid, Max. You’re stupid_.

The time I’d spent with Victoria that evening wasn’t even bad, if I’m being honest. We worked through our proposal pretty easily, especially since what we’d shared in our Google Doc already was pretty cohesive. After we got through that and edited it together...well, more like after we got through that and Victoria had _me_ edit it...we worked a little more on organizing the research we’d already done and adding more to it. But adding more to it was actually fun? Could I say I had _fun_ with Victoria Chase?

Things were a lot less tense between us than they usually felt, which helped immensely. She didn’t really make fun of my humor that much, or at least when she did it was obviously playful and not malicious. We were actually able to joke a little, especially to make fun of various bits of information we found weird or funny. I noticed I actually even like...touched her, a little? As if I was talking to Warren or Kate? Just like on her shoulder or pushing her arm during a joke but still...the only reason I even noticed I was doing that was because she tensed up one time when I put my hand on her knee while pointing something funny out. Honestly, I was scared she was gonna bite my head off for it but, if she had anything to say about it, she let it go. I was a lot more careful about it after that, though. Pushing her was...probably pushing it.

Chloe was _definitely_ going to give me shit for losing track of time with _Victoria Chase_ , of all people, once she got past the initial frustration and was satisfied that Victoria or any of her Vortex Club buddies hadn’t fucked with me at all. The teasing I’d endure would be unending, for sure...I could almost hear it just thinking about it. Jabs about Victoria’s rich bitch charm, something about being sucked into the Vortex (Club), bribery...Chloe wasn’t always the most _varied_ in her list of insults but at least she was humorously consistent.

Truth be told, though? Victoria wouldn’t _have_ to bribe me to get me to spend time with her, I realized suddenly. I was a little shocked but I found myself looking forward to the next day, when we’d decided we’d get some more work done. We were definitely ahead of schedule, especially since we hadn’t even heard back about our proposal, but we agreed that we’d rather keep to our plan so we’d have extra time at the end in case we needed to change anything. _Wanting to spend more time with Victoria Chase?_ I asked myself. We might have come from two completely different worlds, about as different as they could _get,_ but I got the feeling that evening that, if we _weren’t_ from such different backgrounds, maybe we could have been friends instead of rivals.

Did I want that, though? Did I _want_ to be friends with Victoria? That was harder to figure out. I’d felt so many different things about Victoria since arriving at Blackwell. What had that all turned into?

I wouldn’t say I was afraid of her anymore. Yeah, I didn’t want to be on the receiving end of a verbal hellstorm from her, but she couldn’t make me shake in my boots like she did in the very beginning. Even when I was able to push back a little then, I was still afraid there’d be something more than just verbal and/or status-related repercussions. So fear definitely wasn’t on the table.

I wouldn’t say I hated her, either. I’m not sure I ever _really_ did, except maybe in principle. Her entire archetype, her social practices, the way she carried herself, and the things she did were all abhorable in my eyes. It irked the crap out of me. But, between what I’d learned about her life behind the scenes during That Week and what I was learning about her now, I was learning that even the stoic Victoria Chase was just a human being behind her ice-cold facade.

And sure. At one point...or, admittedly, a few points...I’d lusted after her. I’m pretty sure everyone at Blackwell had, even if girls weren’t really their preference. She was pretty, yeah, but it also had to do with the very attitude that sometimes made me furious. The way she could command the attention of a room, the way she could turn everything into a game, and the way her voice sort of oozed this...magnetism, I guess, drew me in just as much as it had drawn anyone else in. I guess that puts a new spin on the concept of “sexual frustration.”

But...friendship? Was that something I’d be willing to consider with her? If she’d even put something like that on the table, of course — which I seriously doubted. Most of the old feelings I had about her had faded significantly and here I was learning about this other, more relaxed side she had. We got along well when we _could_ get along. She was smart and had a decent sense of humor, too. We both loved photography, of course, and I didn’t really have any friends who _really_ appreciated it as much as I did. So if Victoria Chase asked me to be her friend, I guess I —

The bus stopped and the driver called out the stop. _Here already, I guess._ I sighed and stood up, anxiety creeping into my stomach. I hardcore wasn’t looking forward to the first bit of seeing Chloe after how riled up she’d sounded on the phone. It wasn’t like I was going to be in any sort of _trouble_ or anything but...it still wasn’t something I was looking forward to talking her through. I just hoped she believed that I wasn’t ignoring her, that it was a total mistake. I think her frustration was almost always a mask for insecurity, which I wished she’d learn not to need.

* * *

I let out a shaky deep breath as I knocked on the door to Chloe’s apartment. I heard the heavy footfalls of her boots approach the door and was soon greeted by her face, her eyes lighting up as soon as she saw me. She pushed open the screen door and dragged me inside, hugging me tightly.

“Oh! Um...Chloe. Can’t...breathe!” I swore she could crush my ribs if she wanted to, probably. She let go but kept her hands on my shoulders and leaned down a little to look at me more closely.

“Max...I was worried about you.”

“I am _so_ sorry about that, Chloe. Seriously. My phone wasn’t supposed to be on silent!” She sighed, her face falling just a little. I was relieved — she didn’t seem angry. But, then again, sometimes sad Chloe was harder to deal with than mad Chloe. Not because she was difficult but because...well, admittedly, I felt kind of bad about this, but...because she’d ruminate over the same five or so things and my patience with a lot of it was wearing very thin.

“Yeah. Well...as long as Victoria didn’t hurt you...or anything.” I narrowed my eyes at her. _This again?_ Sometimes, it really felt like Chloe didn’t trust me. I understood insecurity — really, I did. I was chock full of it. Sometimes I even got nervous about _her_ — even though the only people she really hung out with were skater boys she’d never even _think_ about touching! But after everything I did for her, everything I was willing to sacrifice for her, it was hard when she doubted me, which I often reacted badly to. I took a deep breath to keep myself from reacting with that frustration.

“Chloe,” I said gently. I put my hands over her hands on my shoulders. “Victoria _didn’t hurt me_. And she didn’t do anything else, okay? We actually got _a lot_ of work done and I’m feeling really confident about this project now. I feel like we’re gonna end up with a really good grade and I’m glad we got so much done because now we’re going to be way ahead of schedule for the project which is...really nice, for a change. Nobody in that fucking class ever actually _does_ anything during group projects so usually I end up doing all the work alone, which usually shows in my grade.” I pulled her hands off my shoulders and held them between us. “It’s okay, Chloe. I promise.”

Chloe nodded gently and sighed. She let go of one of my hands and pulled me over to the kitchen island by the other. She hopped up and sat on the island and I leaned against the counter opposite her.

“All right, Maximus. I believe you, I just...get worried...since she likes you and all...” she trailed off. I nodded.

“I know, baby. And I don’t forget that she does, I just...don’t want to treat her...off, you know? Because if she picks up that I _know_ , I don’t know if she’d stay neutral with me and I’ve gotta say...I _really_ don’t mind not being bullied so much anymore.” Chloe looked down.

“Yeah. That makes sense, I’m sorry.” I leaned forward and leaned her head back up with one hand under her chin to make her meet my eyes again.

“Hey. It’s okay, okay? I love you.” She smiled a little.

“I love you, too.”

“Now tell me,” I started with a smirk, pinching her chin between my thumb and forefinger. “Why does it smell like cookies in here?” Her eyes widened comedically.

“Oh! I made cookies!” She hopped off the counter, almost knocking me over, and rushed over to the counter to my right. She turned around and brought a plate of chocolate chip cookies over to the island. “They finished a few minutes before you got here so they should be cool now!”

“Oh, shit! Nice.” I hugged her from behind after she put the plate down and I kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you, baby.”

“Hey, no problem, man. You coming over is always a good excuse to make some sort of delicious snack that I normally wouldn’t cook for myself...because hey, I’m lazy.” She chuckled and picked up one of the cookies, taking a huge bite out of it and getting a little chocolate smeared next to the corner of her mouth. I wiped it off her face and licked it off of my thumb. She fake-scowled at me.

“Hey, by all means, keep getting chocolate on your face. It’s just more for me!” I grabbed the plate, taking a bite out of a cookie for myself, and headed down the small hallway to her bedroom. “Come on, let’s play some fucking video games.”

“And play some video games fucking!” She said around a mouthful of cookie.

“I don’t know about _that_ one,” I replied, chuckling. “But if you beat me three times in Mario Kart, maybe we can work something out.”

I’d barely put the plate on her nightstand when I felt her jump onto the bed after me, effectively pinning me down.

“Hey!” I cried out. She tickled my sides a little — not too much, because it was something I _seriously_ didn’t like, but enough to get me to turn around and scowl at her playfully. “Cut it out!” She chuckled and sat back a little.

“So what you’re saying is...if I can beat you three times at Mario Kart...we get to have sex tonight?” I laughed.

“You’re like a big kid sometimes, Chloe Price. You know that?” She furrowed her eyebrows.

“Ew, don’t go there, dude.”

“Oh, ew! Chloe!” I shoved her off of me. “Gross! Get outta here!”

She laughed, going over to the TV and grabbing the controllers for the Wii, switching it and the TV on. She tossed the Wiimotes over to me and put Mario Kart into the Wii, switching out whatever game we’d played last time. Mario Party, maybe? I smiled over at Chloe as she came back to sit next to me on the edge of the bed.

* * *

Chloe didn’t beat me three times at Mario Kart. Was she disappointed? Oh, yeah. Was I surprised? Hardly. I’d always been able to beat her at video games. It was kind of my thing, just like her thing was skateboarding, smoking weed, and sticking it to the man. She flopped backwards on the bed after our tenth round.

“Man, could you just _let_ me win another one? Seriously. I’ve won two!” She whined. I chuckled.

“No can do, Chloe-bear! If you want to make a bet like that, you gotta live up to it!”

“So...no sex tonight?” She asked, leaning up onto her elbows with a pout. I chuckled and turned around to straddle her.

“I never said _that_ ,” I murmured, leaning in to kiss her nose. “You might not have met the conditions but you _know_ I’m not gonna turn you down. _Any_ night you’re in the mood is a good night for me.” I smiled gently and kissed her. She returned the kiss, smiling, too.

“Good. Because I was thinking about it all evening.” I tried not to let my smile falter. _Of course you did,_ I thought. Chloe’s insecurity could also turn into possessiveness. Which made for some great sex, of course, but I wished she was in the mood for sex more often just...to be in the mood for sex. I wished she didn’t _have_ to have a reason to want to have sex other than simple sexual interest.

It wasn’t that she wasn’t interested in me, though. That wasn’t the deal. It was _sex_ she wasn’t always interested in. She’d go through phases. Sometimes it’d be like the “honeymoon phase” all over again and we’d have sex often — _very_ often. But there were other times when we wouldn’t have sex for a month, maybe longer. And sure, maybe that’s normal for couples who’ve been together for a long time. But my sex drive was higher than that.

I tried not to let it show, though, because she was self-conscious enough about it as it was. She wasn’t sure why it happened, she just had “off-phases.” It didn’t change how I felt about her at all, and it didn’t change how I felt about our relationship, but I knew she was hard on herself about it nonetheless and was worried from time to time, especially during longer “off-phases,” that I’d be left unsatisfied and eventually feel unsatisfied with the relationship as a whole. It seemed ridiculous to me but I understood where she was coming from enough to respect it and do my best to reassure her.

We’d been in one of those “off-phases” for a while now, so her interest in sex that night was met by me with open arms. _I just hope it’s the end of an off-phase, not just her needing to mark her territory so Victoria can see that there’s no trouble in paradise…_


	7. Chapter 7

Victoria  
10:15 AM   
January 20, 2015   
Arcadia Bay, Oregon   
  
I groaned, rolling over with my eyes mostly shut to turn off the alarm on my phone. Thankfully, I got to sleep in on Fridays. That was one thing I was meticulous about — my schedule. Ever since Blackwell reopened, they decided to do some sort of...accelerated bachelor’s degree program. Which...meant spending _another_ year at Blackhell after this one. But it also meant having a bachelor’s degree in only another year. A sacrifice I was more than willing to make. My _parents_ seemed ambivalent about the whole thing because they’d wanted me to get a degree from a highly prestigious institution but Blackwell had brought in some new, more praised and qualified staff members for their college-level programs — some of which had come from the very prized institutions my parents _wanted_ me to attend. Whatever. It worked for me and meant less _work_ for me so I was happy with it.

I picked my phone up, rolled onto my back, and unlocked it. The notifications had stopped coming in around 2am so I guess that’s when everyone passed out. And, I didn’t have any from the morning so I guess everyone was either still passed out or in class already. So, it was easy to catch up.

Satisfied that I’d satisfied all the little petty dramas going on in the Vortex Club with _my_ two cents, I got up and made my way over to my vanity. I sat down and looked at my reflection, deciding I didn’t need to shower until later since I slept in instead of going for my morning run. With that, I went through my morning routine and got ready for the day. Max didn’t have class on Fridays either but she’d left so late last night to go to her girlfriend’s that I doubted she’d be back already. Besides, we had decided to meet up much later on in the day — more like 1pm — so I had some time to kill.

I decided to go to the cafeteria. It was early enough that they’d still be serving breakfast. I hoped it was at least something good. It usually wasn’t but whatever. If it wasn’t I’d just get some fruit or something and eat in my room. Or get something from my room and eat it outside. It was nice out and I was tired of spending so much time in that place. I would have gone out of town to treat myself but I had to meet with Max so there was no time for that. Unless she wanted to come along...but nevermind. She wouldn’t. Besides — I couldn’t let anyone see me _leave campus_ with her. _You aren’t even friends, Victoria,_ I chastised myself.

As expected, breakfast was underwhelming so I just grabbed an apple and made my way back to the dorms. That’s when I saw her. Max. She was walking away from the dorms and across the courtyard by the fountain statue. She didn’t notice me but I saw her and saw how the sun played in her hair and across her freckled face. I looked away quickly. I felt my cheeks burn a little. Stupid hipster trash making me _feel_ things. God, she was beautiful sometimes though. _Ugh. Get a grip, Victoria. There’s no chance in hell of_ that _happening._

I made the rest of my walk back to my room briskly. I hadn’t run into anyone on the way to the cafeteria and I didn’t want to run into anyone on the way back, either. I was pissed at myself anyways from letting Max affect me so easily. When I’d seen the sun on her face, I briefly imagined what it might be like to date her and get to see the sun on her face walking together or laughing together in the grass.

Ugh. I felt stupid for thinking those things. That’s not how a Chase was supposed to think. Dating wasn’t something you did for _fun_. Yes, there were things the Vortex Club expected me to do that my parents would want me to do if they meant keeping up appearances, like dating some dumb jock with a lot of money, but anything serious that lead anywhere in the family was supposed to just be for status. My parents grew to love each other, sort of, but they didn’t start dating because they had dumb crushes. They started dating because _their_ families were associated in high places. It was for the family name and for money. And to keep family money in the right circles.

Marriage was business in the world I grew up in. Even for Nathan’s family, it was like that, mostly. Though his parents seemed like they really enjoyed dating back when they were. At least that’s how the pictures looked. But in the life I was raised to live, that’s now how it looked to be. I also knew what it was like for my mother when I was younger. My father was hardly around. He was always traveling to different galleries and business meetings around the world. My mother spent most of her time alone unless he took her along with him...but I knew that was only for show. In turn, I was left with the nannies.

I didn’t want that life for anyone. Adult _or_ child. Honestly, I planned not to marry at all. I knew I was going to be just as busy as my father and I didn’t want to drag someone into that lifestyle or leave them behind and I _definitely_ didn’t want to subject a child to the upbringing _I_ had. So it didn’t make sense for me to even _want_ to be with Max. I couldn’t date her for status...not that my parents would think dating a girl would bring me status even if she was rich...but I also couldn’t date her just because I wanted to. Because I’d never subject her to that. Sure, maybe she would want to travel with me. Maybe. Since our interests were...admittedly similar. But I don’t know. She was too sweet to force into the lifestyle my family was used to.

_Why was I even thinking about that?_ I scolded myself. Thinking those things about someone I would _never_ ask out — who probably didn’t even like me. Like, she obviously didn’t _hate_ me but... _Jesus,_ I was getting ahead of myself. I didn’t even know if that’s what _I_ would want with Caulfield. She was cute...and obviously, I liked her a lot. And had for a long time without hardly even talking to her. _Jesus, Victoria. Dating her for a future? For_ marriage _?_ _God, I was hopeless._

* * *

I passed the time before Max was supposed to come over just doing other work. My homework load for the weekend was light other than the project, so I figured I could get it done early and have the weekend to do whatever I wanted. Math was just, like, worksheets and whatever and there was only reading for English. Everything else was either the project with Max or nothing. Thankfully. I could use the break, especially since Max and I were so far ahead in the project. And we would continue to be ahead, I assumed.

By the time 1 o’clock came around and Max gently knocked on my door, I had almost finished all of the work I had for the weekend — which I was very happy about. Maybe I could actually get off campus this weekend for a change. I missed doing that. It didn’t happen as much anymore so, any chance I got, I tried.

“Come in,” I called out to Max. The door opened quickly and Max hurried in, looking like she was trying to hide from someone. _Probably the people you’re so afraid of finding out you’re working with Max on something,_ I thought to myself. I sighed. I didn’t want Max feeling _unwelcome_. Like, yes...it would still look bad for us to be seen together. But I didn’t _want_ that to be the case. I didn’t want _Max_ to feel like she was sneaking around. Honestly, if anyone was, it was me. I closed my eyes for a second and heard Max walk over towards me. I opened my eyes as she put her stuff down. I needed to make this right. Or as right as it could be.

“Hey,” she breathed out as she plopped down on the couch next to me.

“Hey,” I responded. “You know...” I paused. “You don’t have to worry so much about hiding from people when you come over. I can just tell people we got assigned this project.” She stared at me. Her face was blank like she didn’t know how to respond.

“I...um, thanks, Victoria,” she finally replied. “I don’t feel like I have to _hide_ or anything but...it helps to know that I don’t have to be so…”

“Paranoid?” I asked. I tried to sound like I was joking...not making fun of her. She chuckled dryly and a small smile passed her lips.

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Well, you don’t. I can take care of whatever anyone tries to say. It might be my reputation I’m trying to uphold but...it’s _my_ reputation. And I’m like, the Queen of this place, so.”

“I guess that’s true,” she replied, relaxing a little. I put my hands on my knees and turned slightly towards her.

“So. Let’s get down to business.” The words to the _Mulan_ song ran through my head and I covertly eyed Max warily to see if she’d sing them or make some sort of joke to be corny. She didn’t, but I did see her make a small smile. “We’re pretty far ahead. _And,_ now that we have approval from Ms. Grant on the direction we’re going in, we can actually get some things solidified instead of, like...guessing if something will be all right or not for the final project.”

Max nodded and hummed in affirmation and took out her laptop. She opened it up and turned it on, pulling one of her notebooks onto her lap in the meantime. She flipped open to a page with some stuff written down on it.

“I was coming up with some ideas in class on what we could use for visuals,” she said. “I was sort of just writing this stuff down instead of paying attention in photography...since that substitute is basically re-doing the entire curriculum from day one.” She read off the ideas she had and most of them were pretty good, or at least similar to things I’d already thought of. I opened my laptop, which was in front of me on the coffee table. I already had the Google Doc loaded and one of my other Docs open that I was using just for scratch notes.

“That sounds a lot like the things I have written here,” I started. I highlighted some text. “This,” I pointed at the highlighted text, “is pretty much exactly what you wrote there about using video of, like...how they eat and whatever. Like, National Geographic or Planet Earth type shit.” I figured there had to be stuff available on YouTube. “You can find videos like that on YouTube, right?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Max began. “Or, I can pirate them if I can’t find them online for free.” I stared at her.

“You can _what?”_

“I can pirate them.” Max’s voice was nonchalant. As if it was something she did regularly. Well. Maybe she did. She seemed like the type who _could,_ now that I thought about it. I sighed.

“Well...if you do that, just don’t get caught. Ok?”

“Psh, _duh_. I’ve been doing this for like...ten years or so now,” she responded. I rolled my eyes.

“Of course you have.”

“Anyways! That’s not the point. I can _definitely_ get us some footage like that,” she went on, brushing my air of surprise and apprehension aside. I rolled my eyes. I should have known. I’d heard her gaming with people before, so I really should have known she’d be the type to pirate things. I didn’t know if I should be troubled or impressed by how she made it seem like an everyday thing. But, if it was going to help us get a better grade, then whatever.

* * *

Somehow, the time flew by again with Max. It didn’t even feel like we were working super hard on the project. We had gone on YouTube for a while to see if there were any clips available already about pill bugs but ended up getting distracted by the “Recommended Videos” section and found our way through some really weird and funny animal videos. We ended up actually watching a bunch of videos about sloths. I guess Max really likes them. She was right, though. They’re pretty cute and make funny noises.

_This_ time, though, her girlfriend didn’t interrupt us...which I selfishly loved. I _did_ have to silence my phone but that’s fine. I didn’t tell anyone I was with Max this time. It would be easier to deflect, I realized. Since we were so far ahead already, it didn’t matter that we pretty much spent three hours barely working. We laughed so much and made a lot of jokes. It was honestly so nice. It was what I wanted to have with her, like...all the time. God, I wished that were possible.

Unfortunately, Max eventually had to go eat. I had plans to go somewhere with Taylor later for food, so I didn’t need to go to the cafeteria too. But, before she left, I found myself feeling anxious. I wanted to spend more time with her somehow — and not just working on this project. I was really enjoying spending time with her, which...I guess I knew I would because I liked her so much but...I wanted to find a way for us to actually get past the barrier that still existed between us. Nobody bothered us or tried to see me while we were working on the project, so I figured maybe we could get away with it. Nobody questioned me, like, ever, so as long as nobody saw her coming and going maybe, just _maybe,_ we could hang out.

While she was putting her laptop away, I put my hand on her knee to stop her from rushing out. She paused and looked at me. I swallowed hard.

“Um. So, this was...actually fun,” I said. She smiled. I tried not to smile back too much.

“It was,” she agreed. “Who knew?” Ok. At that, I _had_ to smile.

“Yeah. I was thinking. Um. Maybe we could like, hang out or something sometime.” My voice got quieter and quieter as I spoke. I could feel my cheeks start to heat up a little, so I took my hand off her knee and turned away to close down my laptop.

“I’d like that.”

I looked at her, a little bit surprised. She was looking at me with this carefree look in her eyes. She seemed so...relaxed. The total opposite of how I was feeling. I was so nervous she was only being nice to me to make the project go smoothly, even though her laughter and jokes always seemed genuine. That's the thing about Max Caulfield. She was just...real. She just...was herself. All the time. I don’t think she even _could_ act fake if she tried. She was probably a terrible liar.

“Oh, um. Cool. All right,” I replied, feeling some of the anxiety leave my chest. “Do you want to like, watch a movie or whatever? You could come over some evening that I don’t have any plans. I can keep the Vortex Club busy with something else so nobody like...wonders where I am.” I hated that I had to qualify it with that. I hated that I had to hide it at all. But she smiled a small, almost sad smile like she understood.

“Yeah. I can get down with that,” she replied. I released a small breath I didn’t know I’d been holding.

“Do you have any plans for tomorrow night?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your continued support! I'm so glad this fic has been taking off. I've never consistently updated like this before, even back in the day on FF.net, and your feedback really fuels me and gives me the motivation to keep on going.


	8. Chapter 8

Max  
4:54 PM  
January 20, 2015  
Arcadia Bay, Oregon

I shut the door to my room behind me and leaned against it, feeling out of breath. _Victoria Chase just asked me to hang out. Victoria_ fucking _Chase just asked me to hang out and I said_ yes. _What the fuck?_

I thought back to the bus ride to Chloe’s just the night before. Did this mean I wanted to be Victoria’s friend? I mean, _trying_ to be her friend couldn’t hurt, right? Okay, maybe it could, especially considering our long-standing track record, but I got the distinct feeling that she was being _genuine_ when she asked. It was all in her eyes. ...aaand the red in her cheeks and the way she stumbled over her words.

Wait. She wasn’t asking me _out,_ was she? I shook my head. _No. Victoria knows I’m with Chloe. She knows I’m not looking for dates._ I sighed and pushed myself off of my door, wincing a little when the door knocked into the doorframe a little. _Yeah, I was trying_ not _to do that. Fuck. I hope nobody heard._

I picked up my backpack, sort of, by the handle and half-carried, half-dragged it across my room, setting it down against the leg of my desk. I sat on the edge of my bed and rested my forearms on my thighs, making me a bit hunched over. I looked down at the ground beyond my hands. _Hanging out with Victoria Chase…_

I sighed again, bringing my hands up to press against my forehead as I rested my elbows on my knees. I closed my eyes. _What were you_ thinking, _Max?_ I asked myself. _It’s obvious she still has a crush on you, why are you feeding into that?_ I paused, looking up for a second. _Am I feeding into it? Oh, god. I’m not feeding into it, am I?_

My thoughts were cyclical. I bounced from wondering why I ever accepted the invitation to what it meant in terms of a possible friendship with Victoria to Victoria’s feelings for me over and over again. I never got very far with any of it but, growing frustrated, I eventually sort of said ‘fuck it’ and haphazardly concluded that, as long as Victoria respected my boundaries and my relationship with Chloe, maybe we actually _could_ be friends. _I guess tomorrow night I’ll find out_.

* * *

I felt warm skin against the bridge of my nose as though my head were tucked into someone’s neck. I felt arms circled protectively around my back, holding me close to her thin frame as we sat side by side. My eyes were closed, and I had no idea where I was, but I assumed I was with Chloe and I felt intrinsically safe. _How did I get here, again?_ I couldn’t remember.

I heard a warm hum of contentment. The vibration of the noise in my partner’s neck made me smile a little. I squeezed her closer to me, nestling into her embrace a little further. She had a sweater on and the fabric was soft against my cheek. It was late in the afternoon and the sun was going down. It felt like we were outside but, given the winter weather, it was probably just my mind playing tricks on me with the glare of the sun through a window.

Her frame rose and fell with a slow, quiet sigh. I did so, too, just taking in the moment. We didn’t have many moments of true quiet and rest lately, so I wanted to soak up the feeling of it all — the entire atmosphere of the moment.

“I love you,” I breathed out. I felt her give a small shudder, my breath tickling her neck a little.

“I love you, too, Maxine,” Victoria Chase murmured back.

_WHAT?_

I bolted upright in my bed with a gasp, breathing heavily. I pressed a hand to my chest and felt my heart going a mile a minute. I looked around — I was in my room. It was nearly pitch black. I looked at the clock. It was 3:50 AM. _Oh, god. Okay. It was just a dream. Jesus fuck. What the fuck._

I sighed to try to regulate my breathing. _What a fucking nightmare, holy crap_. I ran my hand through my hair a little, gently tugging through any tangles I ran into. _I love having stress dreams,_ I thought with heavy sarcasm.

* * *

It ended up taking me a good half an hour or more to relax after that and the rest of my night was met with restlessness and frequent waking. Was I really that stressed out about spending time with her? Or was I worried about what Chloe would think once I told her I was going to hang out with Victoria? I hadn’t told her yet. I didn’t know how to or what to say if she asked me why. I felt like it was a little of both as well as neither. I could rationalize all of it, and rationalize it all away, but that didn’t make the anxiety go away.

Was it a mistake to accept Victoria’s invitation? I didn’t think so, really. Like...was it stressful? Oh, hell yeah, it was. But a _mistake?_ That seemed extreme. I was having fun working with Victoria and I didn’t want to lose the progress we had made. And, especially based on the last “work session” we had — which really wasn’t much of a work session, even though we still got a lot done — I wanted to see if maybe we really _could_ be friends. Or at least find some sort of neutral ground so I didn’t have to feel so much pressure and anxiety around her anymore. _Yeah, that would be nice._

I groaned and sat up. 8:54 AM. _God, that’s so early for a Saturday._ But I knew I wouldn’t be getting back to sleep any time soon so I grabbed my socks from beside the bed, put them on, and stood up. I stretched and brushed my hair. It was...presentable enough to go down to the cafeteria for breakfast so I threw on some jeans, one of my pullover hoodies, grabbed my key, and headed on out.

I was about to make my way outside through the doors at the bottom of the stairs when one of them opened in front of me. It was, of course, none other than Victoria. She’d been out running — something I’d learned over time that she did almost every morning. She had a sports headband on along with running shoes and athletic clothes — a somewhat modest black sports bra with pink detailing and grey and black three-quarter length running pants that fit like leggings. After a once-over that I hoped only took a second or two, I caught her eyes and held the door open while she finished coming into the building.

“Morning, Caulfield,” she said, still out of breath. I chuckled nervously.

“Morning,” I managed to reply. _Why am I so nervous all of a sudden? She’s not gonna bite your head off, Max. Things aren’t like that anymore. Relaaaax._

“You’re up early.” Victoria smiled at me briefly and, after I shrugged and half-heartedly agreed, continued up the stairs inside. It took me half a second but I managed to get my shit together and keep going on my way to the cafeteria. I took some deep breaths to calm myself down. _That dream really has me jittery, huh?_

In the cafeteria, there were no surprises. It was pretty empty because most of the student body was either asleep, practicing whatever sport they do, or nursing a hangover. The variety wasn’t great because it was before the set “brunch hours,” but it’d do for now. I glanced up at the clock over the food line. 9:06 AM...T-minus ten hours until I’d have to go over to Victoria’s.

I mulled it all over in my head while I picked out my food and grabbed some fruit from the little side bar. It was a safe enough activity — watching a movie. There was _plenty_ of neutral ground there and I wouldn’t have to interact directly with her much. I could take breaks from it if I needed to by saying I needed a bathroom break. I wouldn’t have to look at her directly much, either — thank god, considering I didn’t know how to look at her, really, after that nightmare. It’d be all right. It wasn’t going to be a big deal. Just...two staunch rivals with a checkered history, chilling.

* * *

The hours passed incredibly slowly. It was like the saying, “a watched pot never boils,” but more like “a watched clock never moves.” I kept checking the time. I both dreaded seeing seven o’clock approach because I was shaken up from the dream and because I wanted things to go smoothly and didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of Victoria. I mean, there probably wasn’t much I could do to embarrass myself in front of her any more than I ever have in the time she’d bullied me but that social insecurity still crept into my head and stressed me out.

Eventually, it was seven. I grabbed a sweatshirt, just in case, a bottle of water, and headed across the hall. I took a deep breath, knocked on the door, and waited. I’d barely finished looking left and right to see if anyone was watching me when Victoria opened the door to her room. There was no one else in the hall.

“Come in, take a seat. I’ll get some popcorn going.” Victoria shut the door behind me and went across to her microwave. Which...I was pretty sure she wasn’t supposed to have in the dorm but that’s the power of money, I guess. I hadn’t seen it before but _maybe_ she kept it hidden. It wasn’t like there were room checks or anything, really, but I wouldn’t blame her for wanting to keep something like that covert if there _were_ any risk for her.

Another major difference I noticed was the couch and coffee table — they’d been pulled forward, closer to the middle of the room so they’d be closer to the TV.

“You didn’t have to move _furniture_ for me, Vic,” I mused, turning to look at her as I draped my sweatshirt over the arm of the sofa.

“Oh, that? That’s nothing. I do it whenever I watch a movie on the TV. Seriously. Don’t worry about it.” She seemed...nonchalant enough, I guess, so I believed her. It made sense and I’d probably do the same, too, if the furniture was light enough. I nudged the foot of the couch with my foot a little, to see if it’d budge. It did, and it wasn’t super heavy. I shrugged. _Well, it checks out_.

The popcorn popped and Victoria and I waited in relative silence, only broken by her bringing over some movies she had on Blu-Ray.

“There’s always Netflix,” she’d said, “but I have these, too. They aren’t on there.” I looked up at her as she set the films down on the coffee table and smirked a little.

“Trying to ‘Netflix and chill’ me, Vic?” Her eyes widened and she quickly made her way back to the microwave.

“I. Um, no.” Her voice was a little higher than normal. She paused. “Absolutely not, Caulfield,” she finished in her usual tone. _Maybe_ that was pushing it a little, I realized. _Hmm. Boundaries. I should...probably figure those out,_ I mused, remembering that Victoria’s crush on me was still very real and very apparent. _Don’t lead her on, Max. It might be fun to be playful and you might make jokes when you’re nervous but you have to make it clear that you’re unavailable and_ definitely _not interested. Okay? Okay._

I considered rewinding the joke. It wasn’t something I did much anymore but I’d already made things awkward and I hadn’t even been in her room for five minutes. I looked over at her. She was staring intently at the microwave. In the dim light coming through the window at the opposite side of the room and from the microwave in front of her, I could see her cheeks were a little red. _Fuck. Good job, Max._

I looked down at my right hand and sighed. _Should I?_ I wasn’t sure. I took a deep breath in and raised my hand off my leg a little. _It’s probably for the best._

Just as I was about to start pulling the strands of time through me, though, the microwave went off. The noise from it startled me out of my focus and I turned my head towards the offending noise quickly.

“Can’t ‘Netflix and chill’ without a little fuel, now can you?” Victoria teased, bringing the popcorn over. _Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Just...go along with it, Max. People can have playful banter without it_ meaning _anything. Maybe rewinding isn’t the answer here._

“Hmm, I suppose not,” I pretended to muse. Our tones were serious but we were both suppressing chuckles. Victoria opened the popcorn bag and poured it into a bowl.

“So. Did you decide on a flick?” She said as she took her place on the couch. We were both sort of near the middle of it, since that’s where the popcorn was on the coffee table. I nodded.

“Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind,” I said with conviction, picking up the Blu-Ray case and handing it to her. She smiled a little.

“Good choice. I love Ghibli.” Huh. That was interesting. I kind of already knew she was into anime, or at least _one_ anime, from the figma I found back during that shit week in 2013, but the rest of her movie collection was devoid of it. I’d picked Nausicaa out specifically _because_ it was the one anime or anime-ish film out of the bunch. But I didn’t know Studio Ghibli films were of such interest to her.

“I didn’t know you watched so much Ghibli.” I voiced my thoughts as she turned the Blu-Ray player on and inserted the disk. She turned to me and nodded.

“Yeah. They’re, like...my favorite films, probably.”

“Huh. That’s...actually really neat,” I replied. “Ghibli is up there for me, too, actually. We should watch more of their films.” The words were out of my mouth before I really understood what they implied. _You don’t even know how_ this _is gonna go, Max, don’t get ahead of yourself here._

* * *

Things were generally quiet during the movie. We talked about a couple of plot points, agreeing and disagreeing on different interpretations and theories. Although we didn’t _debate_ anything — which was probably for the best, _that_ probably would have upset the balance a bit — I thought it was nice to have that sort of back and forth with her.

I found myself focusing on Victoria’s eyes a lot when she spoke. The color of them had been a mystery to me for a long time. I thought they were blue for _ages_ but they kind of looked greenish in the right light, which always confused me. I assumed, though, that it was just the lighting playing tricks and that her eyes really were blue. That’s what I assumed ever since we’d first been...okay. Not _talking,_ really, but...since she was first bullying me. Talking to her during the movie, even in the dim light, however, it was apparent that her eyes were _brown._ Why did they look so blue for so long? Or even green? It was nagging at me from the back of my mind. I wanted to find out. But was that too personal of a question? Would it be too weird? Okay, scratch that, I’m a weirdo to her already.

After the movie, we sat on her couch for a while and chatted. She talked a lot about how annoying the Vortex Club was and how much they expected from her. It was really interesting to see her open up like that, considering that, for all I knew, she was really close with the members of the Vortex Club.

“So...you’re not like _best friends_ with any of them?” I asked.

“Not really. _Well,_ Taylor, maybe. And Nathan of course. Nathan I’ve known since we were in diapers. And Taylor, she’s just...actually really nice outside of her party girl personality. Which...I appreciate. A lot.” I nodded.

“Yeah. Kindness can go a long way, you know,” I teased, rubbing my fist into her arm a little.

“Hey! I’m _kind._ I let a charity case like _you_ into my room, didn’t I?” I narrowed my eyes at her but held my smile to know I was amused and not offended.

“I _guess._ But make sure your _charity_ is an anonymous donation or people will get the wrong idea and think you _like_ charity cases.” She stammered a little. _Fuck, that’s not what I meant! Victoria…_ I whined internally.

“So what if I do.” Her eyes were a little harder, a little more serious and narrowed. I gulped. _What do I do? How am I supposed to respond here? Abort mission! Abort! Abort!_

“That’s why ya don’t tell anybody!” _Wait no that’s not what I wanted to —_

“You’re exactly right, Max Caulfield,” she replied with a little laughter. I mentally wiped sweat off my brow. _That was...not good. Mm-mm. Not good at all. Fuck, what am I even doing here? What_ is _this? Why am I...nope, not gonna say it. We’re just. Talking. Just talking!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, Max.
> 
>  
> 
> I was going to hold off on posting this until next week but I really wanted to get it out there for you guys. As always, thank you for the feedback! It's good to hear from you.


	9. Chapter 9

_ Victoria _ __   
_ 9:48 PM _ __   
_ January 21, 2015 _ _   
_ __ Arcadia Bay, Oregon

 

I said goodnight to Max and closed the door. With my hand still on the handle, I put my forehead against the door and sighed.  _ Holy shit, Vic. Holy shit. _

Watching the movie with her was fine. There was nothing wrong with that. Nothing  _ bad _ had happened. In fact, I would almost say I had fun. In a way. Because like...I shouldn’t have fun with her. She’s just the lame hipster nerd Max Caulfield. We come from two different worlds entirely. We shouldn’t have much in common. But, the longer I spent with her, the more I realized we  _ do _ have a lot in common. And I kind of hated it and loved it at the same time.

Because let’s face it...I was fucking head over heels for Max. Somehow she made me feel so  _ weak _ . Not like I wasn’t Queen of Blackhell anymore but...like I was somehow out of control of the situation whenever she was around. Like I could, at any moment, do whatever she told me to do if she was the one who told me to. And that...that scared me a little.

Like really...Max Caulfield telling me, Victoria Chase, what to do. She probably would never even think of it because I wasn’t ever very nice to her before. And, socially, she had no reason to. I finally stood up straighter and walked over to my bed. I’d move the couch back later, it’s whatever.

_ But oh, if Max told me to do something... _ I sat down on my bed and leaned back on my hands, peering out the window. If Max told me to do something. The thought gave me butterflies and made my chest feel tight. I closed my eyes for a minute and imagined her telling me to do something. Like...sternly. I imagined, admittedly, that she was in the room still, standing a little bit away from the bed. I imagined she told me to go lock the door in a no-nonsense tone. My chest squeezed a little tighter and I felt my breathing speed up a little.  _ Fuck, if you’d tell me what to do. _

I opened my eyes and looked down at my lap.  _ You’re stupid, Victoria, _ I thought to myself.  _ Caulfield isn’t going to do that. Like...ever.  _ It just wouldn’t happen. It wasn’t possible. Even if she was just telling me to lock the door so we could focus if Taylor and Courtney tried to get me to stop doing work on the project and come party or whatever. Max might have had more social confidence than before the town was destroyed but it wasn’t  _ that _ much. She still knew her place...I’d made sure of that.

Ugh. I  _ had _ made sure of that. Which I had to...it reflected poorly on me not to. It reflected on me poorly to bully Max too much and it reflected on me poorly to bully Max too little.  _ Why do you have to be so complicated? _

I shook my head and leaned forward to get my phone off my nightstand. I’d silenced it for the movie, of course, which meant about a million notifications from people trying to party or buy drugs from each other. I rolled my eyes. Drug deals on Facebook.  _ Didn’t anyone text anymore? _ I thought about the last time I  _ actually _ used text messaging.  _ I guess not.  _

A Saturday night and Victoria Chase couldn’t be found. A Saturday night and Victoria Chase’s door was closed and a movie was clearly playing. People probably thought I was fucking someone and trying to cover it up by playing a movie. Except they probably didn’t realize that nobody  _ else _ from the Vortex Club or any sports team was missing. I knew the drill. Saturday nights were house parties and everyone who was anyone was always there. Usually I  _ had _ to be at those things. Well...“had” to be. It was expected, at least. I mean, Nate and I were the faces of the Vortex Club. If we weren’t there to represent us, then who would keep everyone in control?

I rolled my eyes. Nate keeping people in control. What a joke. I guess that’s  _ why _ I always “had” to be at those things. He’d just get drunk off his ass and maybe high on whatever party drug of the night was going around. For a second I worried that without me things would be a mess. But I’d missed parties before. For gallery things or whatever. And they’d been fine without me so I wasn’t  _ too _ worried.

I tilted my head back and pinched the bridge of my nose with one hand. Ugh. Fucking...people thinking I was fucking someone. I mean, It’s not like people thought I was celibate or anything but I don’t know. People talk. And what a lot of people said about me behind the scenes was that I was easy or like...promiscuous or something. Like...okay, I can be flirty. Especially when drunk. But it wasn’t anything that ever  _ went _ anywhere. The boys of the Vortex Club and sports teams of  _ all _ people should know that since I turned them down. A lot. But jealous people will do anything to start rumors and tarnish a polished reputation.

What time was it? Like...10? I checked my phone. Yeah. It was like 10. I  _ guess _ I could still go to the house party. They’d be there for a few more hours anyways. I looked around my room and thought about it. Yeah. Going to the house party would probably be good. It would clear up any confusion about what I was doing...I could say I was just like pre-gaming or getting ready or whatever. And it would take my mind off of  _ Max.  _

* * *

When I got to the party at Hayden’s family’s summer house, it already reeked of booze and weed. It was loud and people were smoking inside in the dim light of whatever LEDs Hayden had set up. But it wasn’t loud like people were talking a ton. It was just the music. Bass boomed through the house to the beat of the top 100 pop and rap. Hayden  _ always _ curated a playlist for these things. And they were good, pretty much.

These parties brought everyone out. It wasn’t like Vortex Club parties where there was a VIP section. Although, there always was a room where the Vortex Club mostly was. But it wasn’t restrictive. So I’d see a lot of faces partying that I didn’t normally see, like Justin and his friends instead of just Justin and his weed.

Honestly, I liked it. Vortex Club parties were boring. They were just excuses for the school’s social elite to get drunk and high and have semi-public sex. I usually had to drink just to get  _ through _ them. Tonight, though...tonight I would probably be trying to get crossfaded to forget about Max. Even if it was only for a few minutes while someone told an inane story that I didn’t actually care about. I could absorb myself in that enough to forget for a few minutes.

“ _ Hey, _ look who it is!” Hayden’s voice boomed across the room when I got into the room the Vortex Club had set up camp in. I tried to hide my eyeroll as everyone turned to look at me. “Come on in! Come on in!”

Hayden guided me over to the couch he and his ladies of the night were sitting on. I sat delicately on one end of it and crossed my legs. I folded my hands over my knee.

“Nice of you to join us,” Taylor said from my left. I looked at her, ready to come up with some sort of retort until I saw the look on her face. She looked at me knowingly, it felt like. It was like she  _ knew _ what I’d been up to...but not in a way that was like “you’ve been having sex Vic.” I narrowed my eyes at her and raised an eyebrow. “I hope you had fun,” she said. I huffed.

“Whatever. At least I’m here now. Go get me a shot,” I commanded.

“Fine. But we’re talking about this later,” she replied. She walked off. I felt Hayden wrap a heavy arm around my shoulders. He leaned towards me and offered me a blunt with his free hand.

“Want a hit?” He asked.

“Please,” I replied. “I need this shit tonight.” I took the blunt from his hand and inhaled deeply.

“Damn, girl, I guess so!” Hayden chuckled. “Have it. I’ve got  _ plenty _ more.”

The sooner I got high or drunk, the sooner I could forget about her. It sounds shitty but that’s how it was. That’s what I needed. Max was...too cute. Too nice. Too...everything. It was so  _ annoying. She _ was so annoying. She annoyed the shit out of me. I was pretty sure she did it on purpose, too, sometimes.

“Here, Vic.” Taylor was back already. I took the shot from her in my blunt-free hand and downed it instantly. I barely grimaced from the taste. She knows what I like and what I like barely burns when it’s mixed right. I gave the shot glass back to her.

“Thanks.” I went back to smoking my blunt Hayden gave me.

“Uh huh! Soooo...”

“Nope. We are  _ not _ talking about this yet. And  _ not _ here, Tay.” She sighed.

“Whateverrr,” she whined. Clearly, she already had some drinks before I got there. But she wasn’t like... _ plastered _ or anything. Just the right amount of drunk not to want to leave me alone about Max. Well.  _ If _ she assumed my lateness had to do with Max. I shouldn’t assume.

“You can ask whatever it is you want to ask, later. Okay? But not now. I need to get fucked up.” Taylor squealed. God. I love the girl but...she can be so bubbly sometimes.

“Okay okay okay!” She was practically jumping up and down. After that, she hurried off in the direction of alcohol again, so I assumed she was getting me more to drink. Normally, when I said I needed to get fucked up, that meant to get me more shots.

I took a hit from the blunt and sighed. Was I really a terrible friend? Sometimes it felt that way. I was self-conscious about it, really, because I knew some people joked about Taylor and Courtney being “trained.” Like...that wasn’t how I wanted it to be seen. At all. I mean, Taylor and I were a lot closer than people usually thought. I just have an image to uphold so I never let much of my personal life be seen in public. Courtney was a suck-up, so she basically  _ wanted _ to be my personal servant. It’s not  _ my _ fault she acts that way. If she wasn’t that way we’d be closer, maybe.

Taylor rushed back with two more shots and offered one to me. I took it gladly and didn’t even wait for her to throw mine back. I chased it with a big hit from my blunt and closed my eyes for a second. I hadn’t eaten much so I could already feel it hitting me. Good. The sooner I could get drunk the sooner I could forget about Max.

* * *

Eventually, I ended up back in my room with Taylor. I had my window open and I was smoking a joint. My high from the party had worn off and we were sobering up. I just didn’t want to feel so...drained, I guess. I never ignored my limits when I went out drinking, so it wasn’t like I was totally smashed or anything, but.

“Soooo,” Taylor said in a sing-songy voice. “How was your ‘study session’ with Max tonight?” I shot her a withering glare.

“We were just...” I exhaled some smoke towards the window. “Watching a movie. Not a big deal, Taylor.”

“Aww, don’t get all grumpy, V,” she replied.

“I’m not... _ grumpy. _ I’m just...” I sighed. “It’s nothing. We have been working on this project for Bio and thought we should like try to hang out or whatever. It was her idea anyway. To like…” I took another drag. “Clear the air or whatever. Since we aren’t like mortal enemies or anything.”

I hated throwing Max under the bus. It was  _ my _ idea.  _ I _ was the one who wanted to spend time with  _ Max. _ I mean. She agreed, so I guess she also wanted to spend time with me, but...I was the one that asked. I glared out the window. Why did I always have to hide behind some facade? Even with Taylor.

“Uh  _ huh.  _ Right.  _ Totally _ Max Caulfield’s idea.” I rolled my eyes. “You know I see right through you, V. Just...spit it out. You can trust me,” Taylor finished. I took a deep breath to try to calm down.

“Fine. I...asked her to hang out. Working with Max has been…actually not that bad. It surprised me and made me think like...maybe we could hang out sometime, to see if we like...ever really needed to hate each other.” Another deflection.

“V...please just drop the act. It’s just me. You  _ know _ I won’t tell anyone. You’re like the one real friend I have here. And you’ve trusted me with other stuff before. What’s  _ really _ going on here?” I pinched the bridge of my nose and took one last hit from my joint before putting it out. I turned to look at Taylor.

“...okay. Okay. Just...you can’t tell  _ anyone. _ Like not even Courtney. Please.”

“Victoria you  _ know _ I won’t. Promise.” I nodded and closed my eyes for a second. Then I looked at the rug by my feet.

“I like her. I like Max.” I took a deep breath. “I like Max Caulfield...a lot. Like, as more than a friend. And...I have for a while. Which...I think you knew.” I saw her nod out of the corner of my eyes. “Working with her this week...has only proven me right about all the things I thought. In terms of like if we’d get along or whatever. And what it would be like to joke and laugh with her. She’s... _ really _ sweet, Taylor. She’s funny and kind and I just... _ ugh. _ I hate it but...I wish I’d been wrong about liking her.” I sighed. “ _ So, _ I asked her to hang out. We watched a movie and it was really nice. I...think she’s opening up a little around me and I just...ugh. I don’t know.” I rested my head in my hands. “I know she and I can’t ever be a thing. Because she’s with that blue haired dropout Chloe Price. And like...I could  _ never _ be seen close to her. People...wouldn’t understand.  _ And _ everyone thinks I’m straight here, so. It’s just...gonna have to do.” Taylor put her hand on my shoulder. I looked up at her not really trying too hard to hide how I felt.

“Hey. V. I know and it’s okay. I get it. She  _ is _ pretty nice. She’s helped me a lot since the storm and...my mom. We haven’t talked much but..she’s been there. And I knew you liked her a long time ago. If you ever go there with her, just know I won’t be judging you.”

“Really?”

“Really, V.” I sighed.

“The Vortex Club...would never understand.”

“Does Nathan know?”

“He does. Not that we hung out but...he knows I like her.”

“Okay. Well, that’s two of us. And, two of the officers of the club. I’m sure if you wanted to hang out with her, we could help...I don’t know, make it less of a shock for people.” I shook my head.

“Ugh. Maybe. I don’t know. For now just...don’t say anything to anyone. I probably shouldn’t be hanging out with her anyway. Since like...I like her and she has a girlfriend. And probably doesn’t like me back.” Taylor looked at me and smiled.

“I don’t know, V, you’re pretty awesome.” I laughed dryly. “No, I’m serious. Like...she probably likes you. I saw how you guys used to get at each other’s throats. It was almost like she liked to.”

“Yeah, because she hated me,” I replied.

“No, V, I don’t think she did.”

“Whatever. For now, friends works.” Taylor smiled.

“Uh huh! For now. But  _ now, _ let’s smoke another joint.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blech, I'm sorry this took so long. I'm posting this on a Thursday, I know, but I wanted to get it out as soon as it was done because it's late.  
> This chapter was hard to figure out how I wanted to write it. I wasn't sure exactly which moments I wanted to include. I think I'm generally satisfied with how it turned out? Maybe.  
> Well, enjoy anyway, and as always thank you so much for the awesome feedback I'm so glad people like so many aspects of this :)


	10. Chapter 10

_ Max _ __   
_ 11:08 AM _ __   
_ January 22, 2015 _ _   
_ __ Arcadia Bay, Oregon

 

I woke up stiff. My jaw was sore and my back cracked when I stretched. I rolled over and looked at the clock. 11:08...kinda early for a Sunday, I guess, but sleep hadn’t come easily to me that night. I kept going over the evening with Victoria in my head. We’d gotten along well — surprisingly well — and I felt like she opened up to me a bit. Something I seriously never thought I’d be saying.

Victoria Chase was like...a puzzle. But not like a jigsaw puzzle, more like one of those mind-tester puzzle  _ toys _ that they give to the kids at MENSA, the kind you try to figure out for a really long time and can never quite get through so you stop and accept that you’re just not mentally qualified to figure out the secrets to it. But there we were, facing each other on her couch in the middle of her room, talking about how she really feels about the Vortex Club and her “friends” and who her  _ real _ friends are and aren’t. It was...fascinating, in a way.

It felt like unraveling a big mystery. Like I’d been let in on something big, like I’d somehow gained clearance to a top secret, classified file on Blackwell’s social hierarchy. It felt kind of cool, to be honest. It was all stuff she made me  _ swear _ never to speak of to anyone, which was fine because I understood what she was risking in telling me those things, as much as someone with basically zero street cred can understand something like that. But no, I did understand. She had a carefully constructed image she projected to Blackwell and the world beyond. I’d learned that much about her partially through observation and partially through conversations back in 2013 and snooping around her room looking for clues when I thought Nathan was the one responsible for all of that mess. She didn’t  _ remember _ a lot of that because I rewound or photo-hopped most of it away but I certainly remembered and that was enough to give me information about Victoria and her family and social life that I would have no other reason to know.

That was another thing that was kind of weird. Talking to her, I realized that I knew more about her than she knew I knew. And that meant I had to tread somewhat carefully. Yeah, I could just rewind if I fucked up, but I seriously tried to avoid that whenever possible. I don’t want to risk fucking up the fabric of spacetime again and causing another freak weather event. No thanks. Not to mention, I didn’t want to be using the rewind as a crutch to get through life. I mean, who knows how long I’d have it? Is it a lifelong thing? I don’t know. So if I became so socially dependent on it that I couldn’t navigate conversations without it I’d be fucked.

I rolled over and picked up my phone. Unlocking it, I leaned back onto my pillow and groaned. There were so many notifications...I’d sort of avoided Chloe all night. I didn’t like  _ ghost _ her or anything but my responses had been short and infrequent. I was nervous. I didn’t know how to tell her that I’d spent the evening with Victoria fucking Chase and  _ that’s _ why I was unavailable for  _ hours on end. _ It just felt so awkward and I was honestly afraid of her reaction. Of course, that lead to her believing that I was upset or something was wrong, which lead to a bunch of messages asking if I was okay, if I was awake yet, if I needed anything…

Max Caulfield: Hey babe I just woke up sorry

Chloe Price: she lives! what happened to you man?

It took me a minute to figure out how to compose my next response.

Max Caulfield: Weird night, I guess

Chloe Price: yeah???? how so

I sighed.  _ Here we go, I guess. _

Max Caulfield: I hung out with Victoria Chase for a while

The little “...” that indicated Chloe was typing appeared and disappeared a few times. I half held my breath. What was she going to say? Was I going to get in trouble for not telling her? Would she even be mad? Would she assume something happened? If she did, would it be that Victoria upset me somehow or —

Chloe Price: u WHAT ??? sorry i just don’t know what to say to that man,, like...you and victoria. just...hanging out ??? was it for your project or were you like...actually chilling with the queen bitch of blackhell?

I took a deep breath and set my phone down for a second. This was a lot. Where would I even begin? What would I say? How would I explain that Victoria Chase asked me to hang out with her and I said yes and we watched a movie and talked like...like it was  _ normal? _

Max Caulfield: idk honestly...she asked me to hang after our last project meeting. She said, like, maybe we could hang out and see if we could be friends or something. I don’t know, Chloe, you *know* I’m too nice not to give her a chance…

I stared at the last part of my message. Would that read the right way? Would Chloe read too much into that? It sounded kind of...date-y to me, almost. Maybe? Ugh, I don’t know. The ellipses appeared and disappeared a few more times.

Chloe Price: wait. let me get this straight. victoria chase, QUEEN of all things bitchy and blackwell, asked YOU to hang out?

Max Caulfield: Yep.

Chloe Price: and you...thought that would be a good idea?

Max Caulfield. I don’t know, maybe? God, Chloe, I just...I just don’t want to be her *enemy* anymore. It’s exhausting. I want to feel like I can work on this project and not worry about doing or saying something wrong that will get me mocked and ridiculed into next year or the rest of my life or however long Victoria Chase is capable of making someone’s life a living hell. She’s...not that bad, really, at least not when she’s not hiding behind the mask of the Vortex Club Queen. She’s just a person like you and me, you know.

Chloe Price: yeah ok maximus but...victoria chase?????

Max Caulfield: The one and only…

Chloe Price: ...why tho?

Max Caulfield: Huh? Didn’t I just say why?

Chloe Price: no no no i mean like...why do you want to be her friend like...NOT for just social reasons? like is there some common ground u guys actually have somewhere???

Max Caulfield: Uh, yeah, actually...believe it or not. I mean of course we already know she and I both like photography but like we share some of the same movie interests and perspectives on the social elite...somehow. lol

Chloe Price: huh. u and vicky...share perspectives on the “social elite.”

Chloe Price: for real ??

Max Caulfield: Yeah, it’s weird. Like...99% of the Victoria Chase we see on the outside is just a mask, I’m pretty sure. Like...I think she’s actually super different inside, *especially* considering the things I know about her past and her family from That Week TM

Chloe Price: uh huh. wow max. are u sure u know what you’re doing?

Max Caulfield: Honestly? Nope.

Chloe Price: ...ok well uhhhh good luck with that.

Max Caulfield: Uh, thanks? I think?

Chloe Price: mhmm.

Chloe Price: u wanna get breakfast?

I stared at the screen for a minute. The “mhmm.” stood out to me like a sore thumb. Chloe was upset about this. I scrolled up and looked at my replies.  _ Did I say something wrong?  _ I wondered. My screen suddenly scrolled back down to the bottom, to a new message from Chloe.

Chloe Price: max???

Shit.

Max Caulfield: yeah sorry just getting up!! Take me to the Two Whales? I have a hankering for some bacon and eggs

Chloe Price: sweet. see u in 10 maximus! kiss

Max Caulfield: Kiss! Drive safe :)

I sat up and ran my hand through my hair, encountering more than a few snags. Damnit, that’s gonna take a hot minute to comb through and make presentable. I looked over at my closet, at the hat rack on the open door. I could wear a beanie...that would save me some time, at least. I had to get ready quickly since I’d told Chloe I was already in the process of getting up.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and looked on my couch at my ever-growing clothes pile. What was I even going to wear? Fuck it. I needed to make quick decisions, I didn’t have time to plan any sort of like...decent-ish outfit. After brushing my hair as well as I could in a rush, I grabbed the first pair of jeans that I saw, a faded band tee, and a loose beanie. I put it all on, grabbed my bag, tied my shoes, and headed out.

I instantly regretted not grabbing a sweatshirt. It was still winter and I still had to walk across campus to meet up with Chloe. Oh, well. I was in a rush...I just hoped that Chloe’s truck would have heated up by the time she got to campus. It wasn’t the newest piece of machinery by any stretch so it took a while for the heat to kick in. Wrapping my arms around myself, I shivered a little as I walked across the parking lot.

* * *

By the time we got to the new Two Whales, a sight that still caught me off guard from time to time, it was about 11:30. That meant there was still about half an hour to order the  _ uber _ -breakfasty foods...like things off of their extensive omelette list, which is exactly what I was craving. I smiled a little to myself at the thought because,  _ man,  _ was I hungry or what.

“Whatcha smilin’ about, cutie?” Chloe asked as we walked up the steps and into the diner.

“Omelettes,” I replied simply. She chuckled.

“A simple woman of simple pleasures, huh, Max?”

“Mm. When I’m hungry, I sure am.”

We took our places at our usual booth, sliding in and snagging the menus from the little metal stand on the table. We didn’t exactly  _ need _ the menus but sometimes I needed to make some serious decisions about just which omelette I was going to get. It was one of those days.

I pored over the options, looking at my two usuals — cheddar, pepper-jack, onions, and mushrooms versus cheddar, swiss, onions, spinach, and avocado. It was an avocado sort of day...with bacon, I decided finally.

As soon as we put our menus away, Emily came to the table. She was our new regular waitress — Joyce moved not long after the storm — and she was chipper as ever. We ordered our food relatively quickly, exchanging pleasantries and life updates with her (although there really wasn’t much to update on since we came to the diner so often). Once that was out of the way, we settled into our seats more. Chloe squared her shoulders and looked straight at me.

“So. You and Vicky, huh?” It felt like bricks in my chest when she put it that way.

“I guess? I mean, we hung out, it wasn’t awful.”

“What did you even  _ do?” _

“We watched a movie. I think we both wanted to make sure it wasn’t like...something where we had to interact much. In case it went badly,” I replied. That’s how it seemed, at least. It felt unspoken — like we both recognized that this might not work, that we might actually be destined to be rivals or even  _ enemies _ in the end.  _ God, I’m glad that’s not the case. _

“Uh  _ huh. _ So...what did Max Caulfield watch with the great Victoria Chase of Blackwell?”

“Nausicaa, actually!” I tried not to sound too excited. Chloe’s eyebrows raised comically. “Seriously! She had some other flicks, like documentaries and foreign shit, but she had Ghibli, too.” I opened my mouth to say more, to say how she actually  _ likes  _ Ghibli, but I quickly remembered how secretive she wanted...pretty much the entire evening to be. I closed my mouth quickly before thinking about my next words. “I picked it to spite her. I don’t even know why she had it, to be honest.”

The white lie sat heavy in my gut. It was uncomfortable. It made my insides squirm. Even if it was just a tiny fib, it was a  _ lie. _ And I’m not a liar. In fact, I’m a  _ terrible _ liar most of the time. But I guess I was nonchalant enough because Chloe didn’t pick up on it — which brought me a good deal of relief.

The conversation about Victoria died down pretty quickly after that. There wasn’t much to say, especially considering the level of confidentiality I told Victoria I’d keep. But the white lie I told kept coming to mind. It made me uncomfortable to have done that. “I don’t even know why she had it.” I knew why she had it. I knew very well why she had it and it had been a point of bonding for us. And instead of using that as a piece of information to show Chloe that Victoria didn’t seem to have any negative intentions towards me...I hid it.

Yes, I promised Victoria I’d stay quiet about a lot of things. That I wouldn’t even tell Chloe. Which is a promise I upheld — but it was at the cost of  _ lying _ to Chloe...the person I told  _ everything.  _ Always. Even when people asked me not to. That’s just how being in such a deep, committed relationship worked. You pretty much become one unit, you share everything. And I failed to do that. I couldn’t figure out which would feel worse — the white lie or breaking my promise to Victoria. Because as much as I’m not a liar, I also  _ never _ break a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers!
> 
> You may have noticed that today is Thursday instead of Monday. I've decided to change the update day to Thursdays because of my schedule this semester. It'll still be bi-weekly, sometimes weekly if I get a lighter work load.
> 
> Enjoy and let me know what you think ♥


	11. Chapter 11

_Victoria_   
_10:18 AM_   
_January 22, 2015_ _  
_ Arcadia Bay, Oregon

 

I woke up groggy with everything a little blurry around the edges. I sat up on the edge of my bed and looked around the room. The couch was still where I left it last night and there was a Taylor draped across it, sort of falling off and drooling. Ugh. Gross. She was _so_ cleaning that up later.

I wasn’t... _hungover,_ not really, but it was close and that was annoying. I rubbed my eyes firmly, trying to clear up the fogginess. It sort of worked. I closed my eyes against the dull headache I had for a moment, then looked back at the couch. Taylor...and Max. Those were the things I thought of first.

I had fucking told Taylor like... _everything_ after the party. She already knew some of it, yeah, but I hadn’t told her hardly anything concrete. I sighed and dropped my head into my hands. I can’t believe I told her so fucking much. _Stupid Victoria,_ I chided myself. _I’ll KILL her if she fucking talks._

It didn’t take much to wake Taylor up. She was a light sleeper, so she woke up while I was getting my things together to go shower.

“Wait,” she said when I was about to go out the door. She sounded about as bad as my throat felt. Why didn’t I keep more water in here? Whatever. I let my shoulders drop as I turned to look at her.

“What, Taylor.” It was more of a statement than a question. My eyes left no question as to how I felt about her stopping me. She made a face that reminded me of a slanty-face emoji. I rolled my eyes and went over to the couch...that I still hadn’t moved back. It made me think of Max. Again. I sat next to Taylor and looked at her impatiently.

“What you said about Max...I was thinking about it after you went to sleep last night.” That surprised me. I thought she fell asleep first. The girl can play possum, I guess. “You know I support you no matter what. Right?” I nodded. There was obviously more to that statement, though.

“But?” I asked.

“But I don’t want you to get your heart broken, V...” I sighed and rolled my eyes. She opened her mouth to speak again but I cut her off.

“Taylor. I’ve liked her for, like, I don’t know. Ever. I’m fine.” Taylor gave me a look I couldn’t decipher.

“This is different, though, V. You weren’t close then. In fact, you were about as far from close as you can get.” I raised an eyebrow. What was her point? “I just...don’t want to see you get your hopes up and then make yourself miserable. I don’t want to see you put yourself through that.” I rolled my eyes and put my hands on my knees, pushing down on them as I stood up.

“I’ll be _fine,_ Tay. Thanks for the concern, but...I’ll be fine.” I heard her sigh as the door swung shut behind me. I stopped outside my door for a second and closed my eyes. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. Taylor _really_ didn’t need to be worrying about me like that. I loved her, and her heart was in the right place, but I didn’t want people worrying about me. I hated that. And I hated that she’d be worrying about me with _Max_. I knew what I was doing, I thought. I was pretty sure, at least.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and headed down to the showers. It was early enough for a Sunday that most hungover kids wouldn’t be up and late enough that all of the sober kids would have been eating breakfast or whatever. Good. I didn’t want to talk to anyone else until I was ready for the day. I’d had enough just from that brief encounter with Taylor.

Of course, I didn’t get the peace that I’d hoped for because, as soon as I opened the door to the bathroom, I saw Max. Ugh. That was the _last_ thing I needed, honestly. When it rains, it pours, I guess. I just really hoped she wouldn’t say anything to me. I hoped she wouldn’t _notice_ me but that wasn’t likely since I had to walk right by her. _Just don’t say anything. Don’t say anything._

“Hey, Vic,” Max greeted, looking up from the sink where she was brushing her teeth. I cast a half glare at her — which I didn’t _totally_ mean to do but...whatever. I was pissed, so sue me.

“Caulfield.” I kept walking to a stall. I could feel her eyes following me the whole way. _Stop fucking looking at me, Max,_ I wanted to scream. I just huffed instead.

“Um...” She caught me right before I went in the stall. I stopped and turned to look at her. I raised an eyebrow, indicating for her to continue. “Well...” she hesitated. I crossed my arms and drummed my fingertips against my arm. She looked away briefly. “Are we meeting again tonight?” That was all she wanted to ask. Seriously? How hard was that.

“I’m not going to bite your head off, Caulfield,” I replied...although my voice probably made it sound like I might. “ _Yes,_ we are meeting tonight. Every night until this shit’s done.” She shied away a little but also smiled. I tried not to smile back. _Don’t crack, V,_ I told myself.

“Cool. Um, cool. I’m looking forward to it.” _Don’t fucking say that, Max. I’m trying to just make things as normal as possible. You’re going to fuck that all up if you keep this shit up! This stupid, coy, personable shit that you_ always _pull._ “Um...Victoria?” Fuck. I’d been standing there thinking too long.

“Uh, yeah. Cool. We can...talk about things later. ‘Kay?” She nodded.

“Okay! See you later,” she replied. She gathered her things and left, leaving me there watching her go. I’m glad she let that go, that she didn’t...try to talk more about it. If there was one thing Max was, it was respectful. And she knew everything I had on the line — especially after last night. We’d talked quite a lot about everything I had to do and say to keep my position in this stupid school.

* * *

When I got back to my room, Taylor was gone and my couch was back in the right spot. That girl was too kind for her own good. How she kept her position in the cutthroat nature of our club I had no idea. Maybe it was her money. Or people felt bad for her because her mom was sick all the time. Or because she was important to me. Whatever. Less work for me to do, honestly. Was that impersonal of me to think?

At least she knew that, after a night out, I wanted my space. It was always that way, which was good because Max was coming over in a few hours and I wanted to avoid having to tell anyone that we were doing that. Even though it was just for class. I _still_ couldn’t get over that social barrier. I wished I could just...be honest about it with everyone and just tell them that Max and I were doing work together. Or even hanging out. God, I wished I could tell people we were hanging out. Then we could hang out _more._ And, I wouldn’t have to feel so weird about it.

But I had to stay realistic. That wouldn’t happen and I knew that. Maybe Taylor was right to worry. A little. I... _felt_ in control of the situation. But that didn’t mean my mind wouldn’t wander. Or think of things that could never be. As long as I reminded myself they could never be, I figured I’d be okay.

That worry stayed on my mind the entire time I was getting ready. Which...took a while. My makeup was frustrating me and I had _no_ idea what to wear because I needed to do laundry. Badly. I mean, it wasn’t like I didn’t have anything to _wear_ but...it wasn’t anything I _wanted_ to wear. I pretty much hated how much I cared about that by the time I was done. Thanks, mom and dad.

I eventually settled on a white blouse and black skirt. It was a little dressed up for just working on a project but I had to work with what I had, which was really mostly nicer clothes. I’d been lazy last week. And that meant all of my softer skirts and leggings and shit were dirty. _And_ all of my sweaters. Ugh. Maybe Max would think I was just...doing something later. I really hoped she didn’t think I was dressing up for _her._ Which I wasn’t but it’s not like the thought didn’t cross my mind a little while I was trying to make my makeup look just right.

It took me, like, two whole hours to do that. Which was ridiculous. I _felt_ ridiculous. I mean, I sort of always felt ridiculous when it came to Max. And my image. Both to her and the rest of the school. I sighed. I guess that was nothing out of the ordinary, then. I looked at myself in the mirror of my vanity and frowned. Max didn’t have to worry about _any_ of this. She didn’t even have to worry about _impressing_ anyone. She had her fucking girlfriend already, who followed her around like a lost puppy...which was hilarious to think of, considering Max looked like a lost puppy herself. The blind leading the blind...

Since it took me so long to do that, Max would be over sort of soon. Were we just going to work on the project? Or would she want to hang out too? I didn’t know. I decided just to get our project stuff ready. If she wanted to do something else, too, then whatever. We could figure that out after. My mind strayed to thinking about us watching another movie but on my laptop in my bed, since the couch was back against the wall. Stupid, I know. That would _never_ happen. Why would we use that instead of my nice TV? We wouldn’t.

I sighed. I was fucking hopeless. I put my laptop and the books we’d taken out from the library on the coffee table and sat on the couch. I put my head in my hands and pressed against my temples. So maybe this _was_ making it worse for me. So fucking what? I sat up. I was going to get through this week and that was _it,_ I decided. I could just...drop Max after. We could go back to not talking. It would be fine. We didn’t have to hang out. That was what I decided.

Okay that...maybe wouldn’t be the solution. That resolve lasted all of, like, maybe a minute. I dropped my head back into my hands. I was _so_ fucked.

* * *

Max came in not long after I sat down. She was punctual, at least. She wasn’t always, especially for class, but she’d been on time for our meetings. Which was nice. One less thing to nag her about, honestly. She came in, sat next to me, and put her stuff on the coffee table. She didn’t have much, since we were keeping the books in my room. I don’t know why we just used my room instead of switching back and forth but it was fine. I’d seen her room, it was messy. Maybe she was embarrassed.

Anyway. We got to work pretty quickly. There wasn’t a lot left to do. Basically we just had to put together what we were going to say _outside_ of the shit we were going to put up on slides, since we weren’t doing a normal, boring Powerpoint presentation. Then, we just had to pick our videos and make the larger picture slides. _That_ was probably going to take the most work.

“We’re probably gonna have to print those out like...using some special printer, unless we want to print it on a bunch of smaller pages and paste them all together,” Max said. I rested my chin in my palm with my elbow on my knee and looked at her.

“Yeah...you’re probably right. Hmm.” I thought for a second. I knew there was a printing shop down on the boulevard. Or, of course, in Portland. For a second, my mind jumped to inviting her to Portland with me. _That_ wouldn’t happen. Or, well, shouldn’t. That was...too much, even just for our project. “I know a place down on the boulevard,” I decided to tell her. She nodded.

“Yeah, I was thinking of that place,” she replied. She leaned back on my couch and looked up at the ceiling. They were the “popcorn ceilings,” or whatever they were called. I didn’t look up but I’d spent enough time looking at the ceiling there to know there were a few places where, if you connected the dots, it might look like a picture of something. I bet she was looking at one of those. “That costs money, though,” she continued. I almost chuckled but stifled it.

“That’s no problem for me,” I reminded her. She looked down from the ceiling to look at me out of the corner of her eye for a moment without moving her head. I smiled a little. She smiled a genuine smile back and chuckled.

“Of course. Right. What was I thinking?” She asked herself, still amused. She sat up straight and looked at our laptops, sort of groaning with the effort of sitting up. “Ugh. I’m getting old _fast,”_ she said.

“There’s also print shops in Portland,” I said before I could stop myself. Fuck. I tried to mask the panic that started to boil in my gut at letting that slip. I was supposed to just _think_ that. She looked over at me so I just...tried to look impassive. She just stared at me for a second. I think she was trying to figure out whether that meant I was going or if I had just invited her. I raised an eyebrow because she didn’t say anything.

“That’s...a little far to go for a print shop, isn’t it, Vic?” I pursed my lips a little and shrugged. It was out so I had to just...go with it. She hummed in thought. She turned away to look at her computer screen. _Come on, Max, just...make up your mind. It’s easy...yes or no._ I just wanted her to decide so I could move on from this. Ugh. She was taking _forever_ to make up her mind.

“Well?” I asked. I was getting impatient even though it had probably been less than a minute. Whatever. “We don’t...have to. It was just a thought.” _Fuck. Just stop talking, V,_ I thought. I turned back to my laptop and opened up Gmail. _You sound nervous. Don’t sound nervous. She doesn’t need that._ Eventually, Max sighed a little and turned back to look at me. I glanced at her from my email for a moment but kept typing a reply to some...business thing. It had to do with my parents’ business.

“Um. I don’t know, Vic. It could be fun but...what about other people? Are you really willing to be seen in public with me?” The statement stung more than I expected. Max thought that she was drab enough that even _away_ from school I wouldn’t associate with her. Which, I guess wasn’t too much of a stretch, if I’m being perfectly honest. But...I didn’t _want_ her to feel that way. I just had to keep her at arm’s length and that was the easiest way. _I’m sick of drilling into her head that she’s not good enough. She_ is _. Even if it’s my job to make sure she doesn’t feel like she is so things stay status quo. Even if she has to stay beneath me socially...I want to make her feel at least like she can find her_ own _place in life. Just not the top place._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for skipping the second October update. To be perfectly honest, I was in the hospital and have been trying to sort my life out ever since. But! It's National Novel Writing Month and I've chosen this to be the project I work on so you can expect and rely on a regular update schedule for months ♥
> 
> As always, thank you so much for your feedback! Your encouragement means everything.


	12. Chapter 12

_ Max _ __   
_ 2:39 PM _ __   
_ January 22, 2015 _ _   
_ __ Arcadia Bay, Oregon

 

Victoria Chase just asked me if I wanted to go to  _ Portland _ with her…just to go to a print shop. I mean, I wouldn’t mind the opportunity to get off-campus and out of Arcadia Bay for a day but… with Victoria? I wasn’t sure. It…wasn’t that she was difficult to be around, at least not when it was just the two of us, I’d found out. But there were so many other contributing factors. First of all,  _ why _ would she offer that? My number one reminder of why our social circles are polar opposites is the difference in our classes. And that was  _ painfully _ obvious to anyone with a pair of eyes.

It was really confusing. I mean, my thoughts on the matter had become cyclical. And I realized I needed to answer…and soon. It was awkward with me just sitting there, staring through my laptop screen into the deep void of classism. What was she going to think if I said yes? What would she think if I said  _ no? _ I mean, she probably expected me to say no. There’s a perfectly good print shop down on the boulevard. I didn’t need to go all the way to Portland just for  _ that. _ But, if she invited me to Portland in order to go to a print shop, she probably planned to go for more than just an hour or so. Which meant she wanted to hang out again. Hanging out with her hadn’t been terrible thus far, so…I guess I could do that.

“Sure,” I finally replied. I turned to look at her. “Portland might be fun.” There was a flash of emotion on her otherwise stony face. The mask was up, the walls were up. But there was a flash — and it wasn’t bad, I don’t think. Sure, she looked surprised, a little, but she also seemed glad that I chose to go along with her. “You  _ sure _ you want to be seen out and about with me?” I asked. I tried to use a little bit of a joking tone but I also really did want to know her feelings on the matter. She shrugged, her face softening a little.

“Nobody has to see us leave campus,” she started, turning away to look out the window in thought. “I…don’t mind so much if we’re somewhere nobody knows our names.” I nodded, though she probably didn’t see me because she was still looking outside. “I haven’t  _ hated _ hanging out with you, so…I think it’s perfectly fine for us to go. We could eat something  _ actually _ good instead of all of the local tourist trap shit they have and the shit they try to pass as ‘food’ in the cafeteria.” I chuckled. She had a point there.

“Yeah, that doesn’t sound so bad,” I replied with a small smile. She turned to me and met my smile with a small one of her own — so the stoic Victoria Chase  _ does _ have a real smile, I thought.

“Great. You don’t have many Monday classes, right?” She asked. Again with the schedule knowledge…

“Nope, I’m out after lunch,” I replied. She nodded as if she’d decided something in her head.

“We’ll go tomorrow, then,” she said. Her tone was final — you don’t question or contest a decision Victoria makes. Her word is law around here. I nodded in agreement.

“Great. Tomorrow, then.”

* * *

The rest of our work session passed easily. We really only had a few pieces left to pull together other than our printouts for our slides, and those wouldn’t be done until the next day in Portland. That meant there wasn’t much for us to do. Once we were done, we closed our laptops and straightened up our papers. I leaned back on her couch and looked over at Victoria.

“So. What now?” I asked. She froze for a split second, I think, before going ahead and leaning back onto the couch as well.

“Well, what do you  _ want _ to do, Caulfield?” The last name. That meant she was on the defensive. Great. I didn’t want to test her temper if at all possible, yet, here I was, doing just that. I sighed quietly.

“I mean, I don’t have any plans, Vic. Do you have anything else to do today? Are you like...going somewhere? You look kind of dressed up.” She glanced down at her clothes and suddenly looked very tired. The defenses were down.

“I do not have any plans. I am just...wearing this because all of my comfortable clothing is dirty.”  _ Comfortable _ clothing…yeah, right. Did Victoria Chase actually own anything “comfortable?” Did she consider pencil skirts, tights, and sweaters with high collars  _ comfortable? _ Yeesh. Definitely not  _ my _ taste in clothing…although that was painfully obvious, anyway, with my constant jeans-and-a-t-shirt look.

“Oh, okay. That makes sense,” I replied. “Well…I mean, I know you probably shouldn’t hang out with me much but Chloe works weekends, Kate’s at the church running the youth group, and Warren is raiding with his guild in WoW.” I paused, realizing she probably had no idea what that last bit meant. “It’s a video game thing,” I offered as explanation.

“I know what WoW is, Max,” she replied with a patented eye-roll. “I  _ do _ hang out with Nathan, you know.” Oh…right. That…makes sense. Whoops. I probably should have known she might know a thing or two about  _ some _ games…especially the more popular ones.

“Oh. That’s right,” I replied with a nervous chuckle. I shrugged. “Anyway, that’s not the point. The  _ point _ is…I have nothing to do. And you’re not the worst company. And I don’t exactly feel like wasting the entire rest of the day in front of a computer screen.”

“That makes sense,” she replied. “Well…it’s a Sunday, so the Vortex Club isn’t really doing anything. Really, everyone is probably doing, like, all the homework they  _ didn’t _ do when they were busy partying Friday and Saturday. So…I doubt I’ll hear from any of  _ them.” _

“So…”

“I  _ guess _ we can hang out, Caulfield,” she replied. This time, though, my last name was definitely said in a teasing tone. Back to the better side of Victoria, thank god. She was _ much _ easier — and nicer — to be around when she was using her artfully-crafted bitchiness for humor rather than to sting like the Queen Bee she is. I smiled a little.

“Cool.” I nodded and put my laptop and notes in my bag. “What do you wanna do?” She looked around the room, leaning forward to rest her chin in her palm. She sighed a little after surveying everything.

“Do you want to watch another movie?” She asked. “It’s not like there’s a ton of options as long as we’re confined to my room…and I  _ doubt _ your room has anything more interesting.” Ouch. But…she  _ was _ right. There really  _ wasn’t _ anything more to do in my room than there was in hers. Maybe less, even.

“Uh, sure. You’re pretty much right, it’s not like there’s much else to do unless you’re a gamer. Which, despite your knowledge of WoW terms, I  _ highly _ doubt you are.”

“You guess correct, Caulfield,” she replied, amused.

“Want to find something on Netflix? Or — oh, we could watch a TV show, too, on like Hulu or something,” I realized aloud. She hummed.

“That’s not a bad idea. But we’d have to pick something we’ve either never seen before or that we’re pretty much in the same place at, so we don’t, like, end up watching something we’ve seen before and get bored or whatever.” I personally didn’t  _ mind _ doing that but, if that’s what she wanted, then fine.

“Okay,” I decided. “Let’s turn it on and check out our options. What kind of stuff do you like to watch?” She shrugged.

“I watch a lot of shit.” She picked up the remote from the coffee table and walked over to the TV, turning it on. She opened up the cupboard below it in the TV stand and pulled out a PS4 controller and turned that on, as well.  _ I didn’t know she had a PS4. Huh. _

“Ookaayy…” I drawled. “That’s…helpful.”

“Shut up, Caulfield,” she replied — not entirely harshly, really. It was like she was tempering her voice. She probably was, if I am being perfectly honest. Bitch is like her default setting or something. “What do  _ you _ like to watch?” Deflection. She was deflecting! Why?

“Um…I don’t know, I like a bunch of things. Crime procedurals, anime…that’s most of what I watch but I’m down for whatever. Psychological shit is good, too,” I replied.

“Okay. Well, pick one of those.”

“Uh…I mean, maybe a crime show? Or something? I won’t bore you with, like, _ anime _ or supernatural shit.”

“It wouldn’t bore me,” she replied quickly. She looked a little like she didn’t mean to open her mouth.

“No?”

“No,” she replied, settling back down beside me. She logged in to the PS4 and opened up the video tab. Lo and behold, Crunchyroll was one of the apps. Near the bottom, of course, but it was  _ there. _ And Crunchyroll was  _ not _ a preloaded app, meaning she had to have downloaded it.

“I see,” I said, nodding my head towards the screen. A faint dusting of red appeared on her cheeks. I smiled a little, feeling a little self-satisfied, admittedly, that I had gotten a rise out of her.

“Whatever.” She looked at me with a half-glare, squinting her eyes at me when she saw my smirk.

“Did you wanna…watch any?” I asked.

“Um…no,” she replied, though it wasn’t sharp like I expected. “I am not really in the mood for cartoon art styles. I would rather watch something live action.” I nodded.

“Okay.” I thought for a moment about things I had wanted to see but never got around to. “Hmm…what about something like Doctor Who?” It was kind of a long shot, I figured, but people had been telling me to watch it for years. She furrowed her brow a little.

“Doctor Who…all right, Caulfield,” she replied. Still with the last name. Was she going to relax? She was  _ fine _ earlier.  _ Maybe asking her to chill was a mistake. _

“I have a first name, you know,” I decided to prod — jokingly, of course, with a half-smile. She let out a single, short chuckle.

“All right, then,  _ Max,” _ she replied, a half-smile of her own lingering on her lips while she navigated to the Amazon Video app and searched for the show. “Let’s watch Doctor Who. Have you seen any of it at all?” I looked at the screen as the first episode started to play and settled into the couch a little more, taking my shoes off so I could cross my legs on the couch and not worry about getting my head chopped off for getting her surely- expensive furniture dirtied.

“No, actually,” I said. “People have been nagging me for  _ years _ to watch it but I never got around to it. It always seemed kind of daunting to go back so far in something that was so current. But…better late than never, right?” I glanced over at her. She nodded.

“I suppose so.” Her mind seemed far away. “I’ve never seen it either. Heard some good things about it, though. It’s…not really something anyone in the Vortex Club would watch but it has high reviews and I know it is popular amongst you  _ nerds.” _ I rolled my eyes.

“Oh, like  _ that’s _ such a bad thing,” I joked. “Seriously, Vic. Who gives a fuck? It’s just a show.” She shrugged.

“The right people care, Max.” She sounded disillusioned. “And that’s what’s important, unfortunately,” she trailed off. She turned to watch the episode.

It was sort of cool to watch a show that began so long ago. There were all the old special effects, old styles of acting…it was as interesting culturally as it was in its own right as a show. Which was good, actually. I wasn’t sure if I’d fall in love with it like all of my friends had but I definitely saw its appeal. If it gradually improved over the seasons, it was definitely something I could see myself getting a little lost in, binge-watching it. After the episode, Victoria paused it so it wouldn’t auto-play. I looked over at her.

“So…what’d you think?” She asked. I shrugged.

“It was pretty good! I liked the premise but I also really liked looking at the differences between television now and what they produced then. The special effects, the acting…all of it.” She smiled.

“Nerd.” I scowled at her.

“Hey,  _ you _ watched it, too,” I replied. “And I would wager you  _ liked _ it.” It was a bold claim — but she  _ had _ watched the whole episode instead of declaring it awful and turning it off or to something else. She scowled back.

“So what if I did? You’re still a nerd.”

“Then maybe  _ you’re _ a nerd, too,” I countered. She let out a short huff.

“I  _ so _ am not, Caulfield. You know that.” I chuckled at her response.

“Whatever you say…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

_ Victoria _ __   
_ 12:28 PM _ __   
_ January 23, 2015 _ __   
_ Arcadia Bay, Oregon _ __   
  


It was our lunch period. I’d decided to eat in my room...the cafeteria just was not what I was interested in these days. I had eaten that food  _ enough. _ If there was one thing rebuilding after the storm did not improve, it was the food they served here. I would have taken local seafood over that. But...it’s whatever. I had my own shit in my room and that was good enough.

So...that meant I was sitting there, looking out the window, and eating a salad when Max knocked on my door. I put the salad down on my nightstand and went to open the door. A quick once-over of her attire made it clear she’d at least  _ tried _ to dress better for today.  _ You’re putting pressure on her by just existing, V.  _

“Hey,” she offered as a greeting and walked into my room. I closed and locked the door behind her and returned to my salad. No sense in risking Taylor or Courtney coming in to check on me or something with Max in my room. We had to be as discreet as possible about things today. I mean, she was going to be in my  _ car. _ We were going to leave campus together. There was no way we could get away with that if someone  _ saw. _ There would be  _ so _ many questions that I wouldn’t have answers to. At all. I paused in the middle of the room, looking at the stuff on my desk. I needed to pack some things, I guess, since we were going to need to bring our project stuff to this print shop.

“Hey,” I finally replied. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” she answered from the couch. That spot on the couch was quickly becoming, like,  _ her _ spot in a way. I mean, she didn’t, like, leave shit there or anything but she always sat there. I bet that there would be a Max-shaped impression in the cushion by the end of this project.  _ The end of this project... _ the thought made me a little anxious, I realized, as I put some stuff in my bag.

After this project was over...what were we going to do? What would we be? It’s not like we were  _ friends, _ really, but we’d been hanging out. Other than for the project. So...would she  _ want _ to keep doing that? Or was it just something to do? Was I just something to fill her time with while she waited for her stupid girlfriend to get off work or whatever? Jesus. I fucking hoped not. I scowled into my bag as I zipped it up. If Max was fucking  _ using _ me...I would be  _ so _ fucking pissed. There’s no  _ way _ she would get away with that.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm myself.  _ No, Victoria, she’s probably not. Max isn’t like that. She’s not a brain-dead member of the Vortex Club. She’s, like, a _ real  _ person, _ I thought to myself as I stood up to go sit by her on the couch.

“So…when are we heading out?” She asked.

“Well. We should probably wait until the next period has started so, like, less people have a chance of seeing us.” I looked towards the door. “My car is already in the lot outside the dorm, so...we don’t have to worry about walking by the academic buildings.” I hated how this felt. I hated feeling like we had to sneak around. In, like,  _ any _ other circumstance it might be exciting. I had snuck out and snuck around  _ plenty _ of times thanks to Nathan and the Vortex Club and our parties. But...just to hang out with Max? To  _ do homework _ with her, even? That was dumb. She looked towards the door, too.

“Okay,” she said. “That makes sense. Good thinking.” She seemed like she was thinking about something. She turned to look at me. I met her gaze wondering what she wanted. “You’re  _ sure  _ you want to do this,” she asked...more like stated. Confirming. I nodded.

“Yes. I do,” I said firmly. I didn’t want her to think I had any doubts about this. The only thing giving me stress, really, was that we had to sneak around. Ugh. “You’re not bad, Caulfield. I sort of like being around you. I just...can’t let anybody know.  _ You _ can’t let anybody know. Ok?” She rolled her eyes.

“I  _ know, _ Vic,” she said. “I get it. Ok? I really do.” I relaxed my shoulders a little.

“Ok. Thanks. It’s just...how it is. Maybe someday it won’t be like that, but...I seriously doubt it. It’s just...how things are here. How the Vortex Club is.” She nodded.

“Maybe someday,” she mused.  _ Maybe someday. _ “What do you want to do until then?” She asked. I thought for a minute.  _ How long was that Doctor Who episode? _ We could probably get in one of those and it would get us into the middle of next period.

“We could watch the next episode of Doctor Who,” I suggested. “They’re, like, forty-five minutes long, so...that would get us to 1:30. The middle of next period.” She hummed pleasantly.

“Yeah, that’s true!” She replied. “Good thinking.” I smirked.

“Of course it is. It’s  _ me.” _ She rolled her eyes.

“Of course, your majesty,” she joked. I scowled at her.

“Hey. I worked  _ hard _ to get where I am now in this stupid school. You respect that.” She chuckled.

“Yeah, yeah. Just play the episode.”

* * *

It was 1:18 when we finished the episode. A little earlier than we had hoped but that’s all right. Max shifted to my left and uncrossed one of her legs, dangling it over the edge of the couch as she turned to look at me.

“So. What did you think? Should we keep watching it?” She asked me. I shrugged and nodded a little.

“Yeah...sure. I mean, it  _ seems  _ pretty good so far, I guess.” I tried to be nonchalant about it. It  _ was _ sort of a  _ nerd _ show, after all. She smirked.  _ Not nonchalant enough, I guess. _

_ “You _ like a  _ nerd _ show!” She teased in a sing-song voice. I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

_ “Whatever, _ Caulfield. It’s just a show. It’s well-written and it’s interesting to see how another era portrays certain things. It makes for an...interesting study.” I tried to justify it. Why I felt so defensive even around  _ her _ didn’t really make sense to me but I guess it was just that ingrained in me.

“Uh huh. And that is why you think the TARDIS is ‘kinda cool’?” She asked. Ugh. I wished I hadn’t mumbled “that’s actually...kind of cool” when the TARDIS’ insides were first shown. I rolled my eyes.

“Shut up,” I told her. It wasn’t... _ totally _ in a bitchy way. I was sort of nice about it, I guess. I at least tried to sound like I was half joking.

“No way. I am  _ so _ gonna tell  _ everyone _ that Victoria Chase likes—” I cut her off.

“You will tell  _ no _ one  _ anything. _ Ok? You got that, Caulfield?” I was assertive. I tried not to be  _ too _ bitchy. I really didn’t want to undo any progress we had made. But. She couldn’t just..go around telling whoever she wanted that I liked some fucking nerd shit like Doctor Who. It just...did not work that way. Even if her little loser friends wouldn’t say shit to anyone or spread it...probably.

Fuck. That was another thing. I sighed and looked outside. Which was quickly becoming a defense habit of mine, I realized.

“Look,” I started to say. “That’s another thing. I know I said  _ my _ friends can’t find out we’re doing this, but... _ your _ friends can’t find out either, ok?” I asked. She sighed and nodded.

“I know. I know the drill. I can tell Chloe we’re working on our project if she needs me and I’m busy with you but...I can not and will not tell anyone else. Like Warren. Or Kate. I wouldn’t, anyway, but I know that particularly for your image...you would really rather I didn’t.” I turned back to look at her. She seemed serious about it.

“I hate that it has to be this way,” I said quietly. I was looking to see if I could see in her eyes that I could trust her with this. Because...we were already getting a  _ little _ more personal than I usually got with my friends. Max just...was easy to open up around. She was like that with people.

“Me, too,” she replied. Her eyes didn’t waver. In fact, if anything, it’s like her gaze softened but in, like, a disarming way. Like she was openly admitting she’d thought about it. Like she was letting herself look vulnerable because I was letting myself be a little more vulnerable. It sort of scared me to realize that I was...I was being more vulnerable than I wanted to be.  _ She’s going to know you  _ like _ her, Vic, _ I told myself. I blinked and looked away. I nodded and put my hands on my knees with a bit of a slap.

“Right, then,” I said before standing up. “We should probably get going before people get out of class if any class lets out early.” She made a noise of acknowledgement.

“Yeah. You’re right, Vic,” she said. We both gathered our things. While she was putting her jacket on, I looked out the window. I could...sort of see the academic building area from my room. At least, part of it, since some of it was rebuilt further back than the last one was to make room for a better courtyard/quad area. 

It was quiet out there. Good. Hopefully nobody would interrupt us on our way to the car park. Or see us, really. I sighed a little.

“Vic?” Max asked, getting my attention. I turned to look at her quickly.

“Hm?”

“You ready?”

“Oh. Yeah. Let’s go,” I replied, grabbing my bag and heading on out. “Just...be quick and...don’t talk,” I said. I tried to say it quickly and quietly enough that if anyone was in the hall they wouldn’t hear. It would be weird  _ enough _ if anyone saw the two of us leave my room together obviously ready to go somewhere. Which I could, of course, explain with the project but if I didn’t have to, then...good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> National Novel Writing Month has been kind to me and you, I have plenty of chapters in line for regular bi-weekly updates. I look forward to your feedback :)


	14. Chapter 14

_Victoria_   
_12:28 PM_   
_January 23, 2015_ _  
Arcadia Bay, Oregon_

 

Max and I walked briskly to get outside. We stayed next to each other but far enough away that people wouldn’t totally think we were together. I think Max was more conscious of it than I was because she’d look between us every now and then. I didn’t _mind_ walking by her so much. We could just be going to the same place. And I could explain the project to whoever asked. I didn’t _want_ to have to do that, but. If I did I did.

I appreciated the lengths at which Max went to protect my reputation. It was sweet of her. She was always conscious of it, it seemed like. I didn’t want her to be so conscious of it, though. I wanted her to just...feel like she could be around me. It was weird. And contradictory. I didn’t exactly want to be seen with her but I wanted her to feel like it wouldn’t be the end of the world if she was seen with me.

Thoughts about it stayed on my mind the entire time we were walking to the parking lot. It was frustrating and I hoped it didn’t show. I tried to just look...normal. And focused on getting to where I was going. But I couldn’t stop thinking about the situation. I realized now that I really _did_ want to be friends with Max. I wanted her to feel like she _could_ be friends with me. And as much as my reputation was on the line...all the time...I just wanted that to change. I hated it. I did. I was always putting so much pressure on myself to perform. To put on a mask. To put on the exact right persona to get exactly what and where I wanted in life.

And that wasn’t a _bad_ thing, really, except for how it made me behave. And the stress of fitting every little requirement of, like, everyone. I thought back to Kate and how I treated her in her first year at Blackwell Academy. And how much I _hurt_ her. And hurt other people. It just...was what I did. And I did not want to do that to Max anymore. Did we have some fun with it at first? Well, yeah. It _was_ fun to fuck with her because she’d fuck with me too. But then she got with Chloe and that stopped. She didn’t pay attention to me anymore.

And I didn’t handle that so well. I didn’t know what to do. Because everyone expected me to continue “hating” her and acting like she was trash and treating her like trash. But I just wanted to pretend she didn’t exist. And that is...sort of what I did. I didn’t want to hear about or look at her and Chloe together. Chloe had already fucked me over before with another girl, so I wasn’t exactly _happy_ for Max to find someone if it had to be _her._ I resisted rolling my eyes. God...it just _had_ to be Chloe, didn’t it.

So, I started to treat Max like she didn’t exist. Like she was nothing, which I could work into the bullying everyone expected me to do to her. They expected me to treat her like trash, well. I could just treat her like _nothing,_ too. Nobody really noticed the change except Taylor. Who...now knew why. I held back a sigh.

I was pretty aware of everything we passed and everything that moved while we were going to the car park. Nobody saw us together except a janitor or two. Good. It was easier that way. I could...just not think about the other stuff for awhile longer.

I picked up my pace as we approached my car. Max followed suit. We got in my car quickly and Max buckled up as soon as she sat down. I was less worried once we were in the car. My windows weren’t, like, _totally_ tinted, but they were darker, so nobody would instantly see it was her in the car with me. I relaxed a little when we got in. I took the time to fish my key out of my purse and put my purse in the backseat. Max had brought her backpack so she could have her laptop in case we needed more than just the USB stick for some reason at the print shop we’d decided to go to.

“So.” I looked at her. “Do you want the aux cord so you can play some of your stupid hipster music?” She laughed a little.

“Sure, Vic,” she replied. “I’ll make sure to make it _extra_ obscure for you. Just so you can _really_ get that retro vibe.” I rolled my eyes.

“Of course you will. Why would I expect anything less?” She chuckled more easily.

I handed her the Aux cord. Her fingertips ran over mine and in, like, _the_ most cliche way possible, I held my breath. I made sure I didn’t, like, _pause_ or anything, and I tried to just act casual about it, but I could not stop thinking about how _soft_ her fingers felt when they ran over mine. I looked forward and turned the car on while she pulled her phone out and scrolled through her music.

I looked over my shoulder to back out of the spot and glanced at her while I was turning my head. I caught her eyes for a second and looked out the back as soon as possible. I made a conscious effort to control my breathing and tried to keep heat from rising in my face. I could feel the energy of it threatening to rise through my neck into my cheeks. I swallowed and focused on backing out of the space. _Keep it cool, V,_ I thought to myself. _You’re just...taking Max Caulfield to Portland. For a project. It’s...no big deal. It’s going to be fine and nobody’s going to question it and you are going to_ go _to the print shop and_ get _your prints made and get out of there. If we get hungry, we can just pick something up quickly. I’ll let her decide. Just...be cool._ I took a deep breath and turned forward to leave. _Be cool._

* * *

Max’s music...actually was not that bad. She didn’t play much that was really like classic hipster shit, like acoustic or indie. There _was_ some of that, but it wasn’t all of it. I could tell Chloe influenced her music selection a little. There were some songs in there that were...a little more punk than I would listen to but there were also some, like...not _pop_ songs, but...things that were close. Or that had been on the radio...a few years ago. I noticed a lot of her songs were like that. A little bit older. It was like...her music taste was from five years ago. Not today. I don’t think _any_ of the songs I heard were newer than two or three years ago.

Conversation on the trip flowed easily between us...when it did happen. Mostly it was quiet but it was a long drive so we did talk a little. The silence even though it was filled with music got...not _awkward_ but...it was weird after a while. I could tell she felt the same way, since we’d start talking at the same time sometimes. Which was funny.

“I just don’t think we have to be silent because we’re _rivals,”_ she said at one point. I agreed. It wasn’t like we didn’t have anything in common and I said so.

“Like...we probably have a lot to talk about, really,” I said. “We do...a lot of the same things at Blackwell Academy. If you ignore our social status, of course.” She nodded.

“Yeah. And you _secretly_ do a lot of the same things I do when people don’t know about it,” she pointed out. I rolled my eyes at that.

“Yeah, well. Don’t let anyone find _out.”_ She rolled her eyes, too.

“As if I don’t know that already, Vic.” I smiled.

“I know you know,” I said, a little quieter. I glanced at her briefly. She was smiling, too, but was looking out the window.

Sometimes, during the silence, I could feel her gaze on me or see her looking at me out of the corner of my eyes. It wasn’t ever for _long,_ but it happened. I wondered what she was thinking. I wondered if she was thinking about _me._ I mean, probably, but _what_ about me. Hopefully not bad things but...I wouldn’t blame her if they were.

My thoughts returned to my earlier train of thought I had while walking to my car. I hoped that my, like, constant need to present as the perfect Queen of Blackwell Academy wasn’t hurting her. I frowned a little. Hurting her was not... _always_ my intention. At least, not _exactly._ It was always about pushing her away.

At first, if that meant hurting her, then fine. It was whatever at that point. She wasn’t anything to me and I wanted to keep it that way. But...then she had to push back. And be...not _flirty_ but...she’d push back when I tried to bully her in a way that pushed all of my buttons. And I could tell she _knew._ I could see it in her eyes...or so I told myself. I sighed. _Was I making all of that up? Was it really what I thought? Did we really have something there? Did I have a fucking chance at_ all _?_ That’s what I _really_ wanted to know. If Chloe hadn’t come into the picture, would anything have happened between us? Especially with that awful week that happened when Chloe came into the mix.

I don’t know how that week would have gone if Chloe wasn’t there, honestly. I mean, Max was so focused on keeping her safe, for whatever reason. I never asked her about it but I had a feeling she was, like, another target of... _his._ I suppressed a shudder. I can not believe I ever _liked_ that creep. Fucking...disgusting. I should have known. I should have, like, seen red flags, or whatever. That like...he was giving mixed signals at all. But. I was so fucking focused on getting a good grade and maybe getting laid if I was lucky.

I don’t even _like_ boys but I was so _obsessed_ with getting recognized by a famous guy that I wanted to ignore it. I basically forced myself to like him and eventually it became true that I _did_ like him. It was nothing amazing but it was enough to match my motivation to get noticed. Jesus, who was I...Rachel? Fucking my way to the top? Ugh. What a stupid idea. I’m supposed to be _smarter_ than that. Whatever.

Max, though...I glanced at her. Her blue eyes stared off into the distance as we waited for the light to turn green. Max _saved_ me. She like...saved my fucking life, probably. She was...there. In that...room with me. Where _he_ was. Drugging us. Well. Mostly her. I was drugged and left on the floor but...he was manipulating her and taking pictures and...I closed my eyes for a moment to clear my mind. _No._ I was _not_ going to think about that now. That was behind us. I looked at Max again before pulling away at the light. _We’re safe now._

* * *

The rest of the ride into the city once we crossed into the suburbs was quiet. I made my way through the streets, taking shortcuts since I’d been here with Taylor and Courtney so many times to go shopping. I knew right where the print shop was, too, because I’d been there before...to get some prints of myself made, admittedly, but a little vanity never hurt when you had to own your shit and make sure everyone knew.

I pulled into the parking garage I’d chosen and found a place about three floors up. It wasn’t... _crazy_ busy but there were quite a few cars around. It _was_ getting into the busier hours, so I wasn’t surprised. I turned the car off and reached behind me to get my purse and took my key out of the ignition. I looked at Max.

“Are you hungry?” She shrugged and took the aux cord out of her phone.

“Kind of? I guess,” she replied. “Why, are you?” I shrugged too.

“Sort of. I know a few places around here if you wanted to eat.” She took a minute to answer and put her jacket back on. She’d taken it off while we were driving.

“Yeah, I could go for a bite of something, I think,” she eventually replied.

“What are you in the mood for? Like...what cuisine?”

“Um, I don’t know. What do you know is around?” She asked. I guess that was a good point. I didn’t say _what_ I knew.

“Oh. Well...there’s Italian, or...well. First of all. Do you want to sit down somewhere or get something...faster?” I tried not to imply fast food. I did _not_ usually eat fast food. Sometimes, maybe, but not much.

“Well...I don’t think I can afford the same kind of place you’d call ‘sit-down,’” she said. I checked my phone quickly. There were...a few notifications I should probably respond to...but I put it back in my purse.

“I can pay,” I said before turning to look at her again. Her eyes widened a little, for a second.

“Oh. Vic, that is...very nice of you but I don’t mind paying for myself. I don’t want you to spend much money on me. You’re already spending money on the gas to get here.”

“Caulfield,” I said. “I don’t. Mind. It’s not going to inconvenience me at all and these aren’t, like, _fancy_ places or anything.” She shifted a little in her seat.

“...Okay,” she eventually said. “I guess I’ll let you pay. But I’m getting you back sometime. What’s around?” I tried not to roll my eyes. She didn’t have to pay me back. I _want_ to treat her since I, like, never had the opportunity to before. And maybe never would again. I...needed to take advantage of this opportunity while I had it. Since...maybe I would have had it once before but I lost that chance.

“Well, like I said, there’s Italian but there’s also a good Japanese place up the road, some basic American cuisine...if I remember correctly there’s also a Vietnamese restaurant nearby.” She thought about it for a second. Her eyebrows furrowed while she thought, which I thought was cute. It made me smile...a little.

I was trying to be...less guarded around her. I wanted her to feel comfortable with me so badly. We were away from Blackwell Academy. We didn’t have to ascribe to the social standards for a change. I didn’t get a chance to do that much since I was usually with people who it _mattered_ to look perfect in front of and, as much as I wanted to be perfect around Max too, I wanted her to know that I was human, after all. She looked back up at me and matched my small smile.

“I could go for some Italian, I think,” she said. “I know it’s kind of basic but it’s probably better than anything I have had in Arcadia Bay in a while,” she continued. I let out a small, quiet chuckle.

“Yeah. Probably.” I put my hand on the door handle. “You ready? We can go there first and then go to the print shop.” She nodded and we got out of the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm super fucking sorry this chapter is so late I'm literally sitting here in my underwear editing and uploading this when I should be in bed but it was eating away at me not having posted. I've been having trouble keeping track of days and time honestly and it's gotten progressively worse since I was hospitalized a couple of months ago. But here you go, guys. Happy holidays and I promise I'll be better about updating per my bi-weekly schedule going forward. xomaxo


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays!  
> A little bonus chapter as a gift from me to you. See you in 2019! :)

_Max_   
_3:12 PM_   
_January 23, 2015_   
Portland, Oregon   


We walked to the restaurant quietly. It was windy out and Victoria had pulled her scarf up to cover her mouth. _I wish I’d thought to bring a scarf,_ I thought, zipping my coat to the very top and putting my hood up, trying to get some coverage for my neck and hopefully my mouth, sort of.

On the outside, the restaurant seemed largely unassuming. It wasn’t extravagant, at least, that was for sure. Thank god. I would have probably killed her if she brought me to a fancy place and was trying to pay an arm and a leg for me.

I’d noticed something since we’d been out of the Arcadia Bay area, though. Victoria had been…nicer to me, I think. She was like…this weird mix of tense and…not relaxed, since that didn’t make sense, but open, I guess. She seemed more genuine. It reminded me of when she’d been talking about the Vortex Club and all of the shit she had to do to maintain her position there when we’d hung out after watching a movie on Saturday. I wasn’t too bothered by it but it had caught me off guard — at least at first.

She seemed like she was trying to let me in, in her own tense, almost-awkward Victoria Chase way. Or at least make me feel more comfortable around her. Was that because she thought I’m not comfortable around her? Was I giving off that sort of vibe? Was I being awkward and it was making her feel awkward and like she had to compensate for that? I tried not to think too much about it but, on the cold, quiet walk to the restaurant, I couldn’t help it much.

I wanted this friendship to work. I _wanted_ to be friends with Victoria Chase. I could accept and admit that, at least. I’d finally figured it out and made up my mind. She and I got along well enough and had even more in common than just our surface similarities of photography and the general disillusioned stance we had towards the human race…although we definitely expressed that in very different ways (which was a major factor in how we were seen by other people).

I glanced at her while I was thinking. She glanced back and…I think she smiled, at least her eyes looked kind of like she was. I couldn’t exactly tell because her scarf was pulled up around her mouth but her cheeks raised a little and her eyes softened. I smiled back. She…really was not all that bad. Not underneath it all. She was under a lot of pressure to seem perfect and grown up but I’d gotten a glimpse behind that during this week at the human being beneath all of that. And — just like she’d said at that party during that awful week in 2013 — she was just a kid at an arts school trying to get noticed and validated. _A whole hell of a lot more like me when you put it that way,_ I thought with a wry smile. _Maybe this really is doable._

Inside the restaurant, it was warm, thankfully. It wasn’t the coldest day we’d had recently but, _man,_ that wind. It was really biting and my face felt raw. Victoria took her scarf off and sighed. The host stepped forward as we approached the little host desk.

“How many?” He asked. I glanced at Victoria, who answered without missing a beat or batting an eye.

“Two, for dinner.” It was admittedly a bit on the early side for dinner but we had pretty much skipped lunch while waiting for us to get the chance to pretty much sneak off-campus. It wasn’t like we needed _permission_ to go off-campus — thank god — but…it was pretty much sneaking. But that’s okay. I understood. We both wished it wasn’t like that but…that’s just what happens when you come from two totally different backgrounds and have to keep things status quo.

I mean, honestly, I didn’t want to upset the balance any more than she did. Was I more sociable than before the storm wrecked our town? Sure, but that didn’t mean I was really in any different place in the social hierarchy. I had a little more respect so I could flow in between friend groups more easily but I hadn’t changed my core friend group and pretty much kept to them and Chloe. Trying to change that? Or even unintentionally changing that, suddenly, by Vic and I being out and about together? I didn’t even _want_ to think about how that would go.

People would probably think it was a joke, honestly. A joke for what _reason,_ I have no idea, but there’s no way people would take it seriously if we started hanging out. I knew my friends would probably think she was taking advantage of me and her friends would probably think she was taking advantage of me, too. Which I’ll admit I was still a little bit wary of but...she was really, genuinely willing to pay for my food at what appeared to be a pretty decent restaurant, so unless she really was this shallow and awful, which I really didn’t think was true, I thought that was a real sign that she was trying to make a friendship between us work, too.

_Why_ she was trying to make it work? Well, that was something I really did have a few concerns about. I was worried that it had to do with her feelings for me. That she was trying to make me like her, or that she was trying to get me away from Chloe. _That_ I could possibly believe if someone told me that’s what was happening. Victoria did not have the nicest of histories with interpersonal relationships. But…she’d changed since we’d been back at Blackwell Academy. She’d seemed to really change.

I sat down in the booth the host gestured to for us and took the menu from his hand, thanking him quietly. He got our drink orders, walked away, and I started to peruse the menu. I…really tried not to look at prices but honestly, even without Victoria offering to pay for me, it was habit to do so. I always tried to be a “cheap date” ...not in a bad way, of course, but at least affordable.

Not that this was a _date,_ and not that Victoria didn’t have money, of course. I shook my head slightly to clear my thoughts.

“Well?” Victoria asked. I looked up at her. Her menu was closed and rested on the table in front of her. She had her hands clasped on top of it and was looking at me with one eyebrow raised.

“You know what you want?” I asked her.

“Yep. I _do_ come here, sometimes,” she replied, as if I should have known. I mean, she knew the place, so obviously she’d been here. But I didn’t know how many times or anything or if she had a favorite thing to get. Obviously, she’d been here a few times and had a usual.

“Well…I don’t know what I want yet,” I replied gently, looking back at the menu.

“Does it look okay?” She asked. I looked up again. It was my turn to raise an eyebrow.

“Worried I might not find something I like at an Italian place? When starch, as I am sure you have noticed by my choice in snacks, is my major food group?” She narrowed her eyes at me slightly and her cheeks tinted ever so slightly red.

“I’m just…making conversation, Caulfield,” she snipped at me with that trademark, one hundred percent genuine Victoria Chase half-whisper. I rolled my eyes.

“I know, I know. I’m just fucking with you,” I replied. She huffed a little and crossed her arms, her cheeks darkening a hue. I couldn’t resist a smirk. I glanced down at the menu again and settled on the salmon focaccia. “I know what I want,” I stated, closing my menu and placing it at the end of the table. She followed suit with her menu.

While we waited for our server to come, the air felt heavy between us. I felt uncomfortable in my seat, having frustrated Victoria a little. The age-old anxiety instinct to run away bubbled under the surface and made me restless, crossing and uncrossing my legs as if I couldn’t decide which way was most comfortable. I tried to make it barely noticeable because I didn’t want her to think I was uncomfortable being around her. I’d just…made things awkward, which I’m really good at doing with people, no big deal. She cleared her throat after a moment.

“So. We’ll probably have to wait for the prints to get made,” she said. _Thank god,_ I thought as soon as she started speaking. “We have a few options while we wait. I know there’s a place we could shop, but…I’m not sure how much of your ‘thing’ that sort of thing is.” I smiled, chuckling a little. “Other than that, there’s always stuff to walk around and see. They still have a lot of the holiday displays up, so we could always just walk around those. I doubt the prints will take long to make.”

“I don’t _hate_ shopping, Victoria. I just don’t usually have the liberty to do so.” She let out a half-chuckle.

“No, I suppose you don’t, now do you,” she said, smirking a little. I rolled my eyes.

“Hey, it is _not_ my fault I’m not filthy rich like you are, little miss moneybags over here.” She chuckled.

“Well. We could go shopping, if that’s something you wanted…or _could_ do.” I narrowed my eyes at her.

“I resent that, I’ll have you know,” I told her. “I can shop sometimes, you know. I didn’t say I don’t _ever_ shop.” Her smirk softened more into a smile. I smiled, too.

“So let’s do it, then.”

* * *

The food was good — very good, actually. Even though Arcadia Bay was technically closer to the fisheries than Portland may be, this place had better salmon than any I’d had in quite some time. Probably because it was a river fish, really, though I doubted anything on the menu was bad at that place. It hadn’t been so expensive that I wouldn’t have been able to pay for myself or anything but it was definitely more than I’d _want_ to pay on any given day. Vic didn’t even let me _glance_ at the bill when it came.

“You two ladies have a nice night,” our server said as he left the bill with us, giving us a knowing smile. It was like he thought we were…an item or something, and the thought of appearing that way with her unsettled me. It felt uncomfortable in my gut. We were hardly friends. But I guess we’d laughed enough or something to make him think we were together. I…didn’t want people thinking that.

I mean, it's not like I’d probably _see_ any of them again…other than the guy at the print store when we’d go pick up the prints later on…but it just unsettled me. It felt wrong to let the waiter walk away without correcting him or somehow asserting the fact that we were _not_ on a date. I sighed a little, looking at the ground by my feet for a few seconds while we walked towards the print shop. _It’s not a fucking date, people._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to make note of/address something about this story really quickly, and that's about PACING. If you've taken note of the dates at the beginning of each chapter, you've noticed that we're fifteen chapters in and have barely gone through a week of time. Don't worry, it won't stay like that. There's A LOT of groundwork to lay here for our girls. 
> 
> Once we get through this first week or so of tension, foundation-building, and tentative friendship, things will speed up. This is going to be the first in a series of at least three (but probably FIVE) stories total. This one will takes us up until about May of 2015, which I'm assuming will be about 80-100 chapters. So buckle up, friends, because we're in this for the long haul. I've currently written up through Chapter 30. :)


	16. Chapter 16

_ Max _ __  
_ 4:18 PM _ __  
_ January 23, 2015 _ _  
_ __ Portland, Oregon

 

Walking to the print shop, we didn’t talk much. It was still crazy windy out, which was totally unforgiving on my face yet again.

“You should have brought a scarf, Caulfield,” Victoria all but scolded me when we got inside and she took hers off. I rolled my eyes.

“Okay,  _ mom, _ I’ll be sure to remember that next time,” I snarked back. She scoffed.

“Well don’t come around me if you get sick, all right? If you get a cold, we are so doing the rest of this project on, like, Google Hangouts or something.” I laughed at that as we approached the counter.

The guy working the place was younger, a teenager, probably, complete with an acne-covered face. He looked the part, at least, and, giving the place a once-over, it looked like this was probably his family’s business.

“Hey,” he greeted us. “What can I do ya for?” Victoria looked at me. I raised an eyebrow, as if to say “ _ Oh, you expect me to do all the talking? Put me on the spot, why don’t you.” _ I pulled the flash drive out of my pocket and looked back at the boy behind the counter — Timothy, his name tag said.  _ I could see Warren working at this kind of place, _ I thought to myself.

“Yeah, um, hi. We…need to get some prints made,” I replied. “They’re on this flash drive but I brought my laptop in case you need them in a different format or something.”

“No need,” Timothy replied. “I’m sure I can work with what you’ve got.”

“Cool,” I said, handing the flash drive over the counter to him. “They’re the only thing on there, so you shouldn’t need to look very hard for them,” I trailed off with sort of a nervous chuckle.  _ Jesus, Victoria, you know I’m not a fucking people person, _ I grumbled internally. I was  _ so _ going to chew her out or get her back for that later. I looked at her and saw she was leaning against the counter with her arms crossed, watching the entire interaction transpire. She was smirking ever so slightly. I resisted rolling my eyes. Of course she was watching me after she put me on the spot, why wouldn’t she be?

“I bet you are just  _ loving _ watching me talk to this guy,” I half-whispered to her once I’d told Timothy what we needed and he went over to his computer to get the files. She lifted her fingertips as if she’d uncrossed her arms and held her hands out to feign innocence, but without actually uncrossing her arms.

“Hey. He’s definitely more  _ your _ type of guy. Not mine,” she said. I did roll my eyes at that.

“First of all, I’m gay, second of all, fuck you.” She scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“So am I but  _ I’m _ not about to hole up in some nasty, sweaty room with Warren for hours playing  _ World of Warcraft,” _ she replied. I raised an eyebrow.  _ Did she just...casually out herself to me? _ She looked at me, deadpan. “What.”

“Uh…” I wasn’t sure how to respond. Did she not realize she’d just told me she was gay? I must have paused long enough for her to think about it because, after a moment, the color drained from her face and I think maybe she stopped breathing or something because, although she hadn’t jolted or anything, she was very still.

“Fuck.” She swallowed hard. “You...did  _ not _ just hear that.” She said, icy walls coming up in record time before my very eyes. “I did  _ not _ just say that and you will  _ not _ repeat that to anyone.  _ Got it?” _ She hissed, eyes darting around. I rolled my eyes again.  _ As if anyone you know is here, Victoria, _ I thought.

“Don’t worry, okay? I’m not gonna say anything. You might not believe this but I’m not out to get you or ruin your perfect reputation, okay?” She pulled her still-crossed arms closer to herself and settled into a scowl.

“Fine. Just… _ fine. _ Don’t talk about it.” She paused. “Not even to me. Unless…I bring it up first.” I shrugged.

“I think I can do that,” I replied, trying to seem as nonchalant as possible given how tense she was becoming. I didn’t want to see this sort of thing sour the entire rest of our day. Especially not if I had to hang out with or around her for a couple hours while the prints were made and then sit in her car for an hour and a half on the way back to Arcadia Bay.

Timothy came back not long after our interaction was done, smiling a little bit of a customer service smile.

“Well, I have the prints lined up and ready to go!” He said, handing me the flash drive. “It’ll take about two and a half hours to run them and let them set. Is there anything else I can do for you two?” He asked, glancing very quickly at Victoria. I tried to smile an easy smile, at least enough to match his customer service smile.

“No, I think that’ll do it,” I replied.

“Cool. Well, I’ll see you back in a couple hours!”

* * *

I looked at the numbers on the big clock in the courtyard next to the mall. I liked those old-fashioned clocks, they made me feel warm with nostalgia. ...I guess I liked a lot of old-fashioned things.  _ I mean, maybe Victoria wasn’t totally off-base when she would joke about me being into “that retro shit,” _ I thought with an internal chuckle. What can I say? I like nostalgia, I guess.

I was, admittedly, a little nervous about shopping with Victoria. She and I…didn’t exactly see eye-to-eye in terms of style. And she almost  _ definitely _ would not be interested in going in to GameStop…man, the thought of stepping foot in there would probably appall her. It would definitely be funny to see her reaction if I tried. So…I was definitely going to try. Besides, I was pretty sure I could find one of the games Warren recommended to me there. It was a little bit older but that meant I could probably find a used copy in one of the baskets they had that were full of games from older systems. It wasn’t, like, ancient or anything, so I had my hopes.

We rode the escalator up into the main level of the mall. It was sort of on a hill so, unless you parked in the parking area that was below the main level, you had to go up it to get in. Once we’d taken a few steps beyond the escalator so we weren’t in the way anymore, we stopped and Victoria turned to look at me.

“So,” she began. “I doubt you want to go to the places I want to go to and I doubt  _ I _ want to go to the places  _ you _ want to go to.” I couldn’t help chuckling a little at her voicing my very thoughts. “We have one of two options. We can both suffer and both go to the places each other wants or we could split up. It’s up to you,” she said. I thought for a second. I didn’t exactly want to come all the way to Portland with her just to walk around the mall alone but at the same time I…probably wouldn’t find anything that interesting in the stores she wanted to go to. But, then again, I did need to get her back for putting me on the spot in the print shop…

“Well I didn’t come all the way here to wander around a mall alone,” I said, voicing my thoughts on the matter. “So...I think I can ‘suffer’ through whatever it is you want to see…if you’ll do the same with me.” She quirked an eyebrow.

“You sure, Caulfield?” She asked. “I really doubt you are going to have  _ any _ interest in the stores I go in. In fact…I am almost certain you don’t even go  _ in _ those stores when you come here.” I shrugged and smiled a little.

“Maybe not, but there’s a first time for everything, right?” She smiled back, finishing up trying to fit her scarf in her purse neatly.

“I suppose there is. I like the way you think.”

While we walked around, Victoria seemed a little more tense than she had earlier. I assumed it had to do with her letting her sexuality slip out like that…which I felt kinda bad about, honestly. I didn’t want her to feel like she had to be careful around me or change how she was around me. It was just any other piece of information. I mean, maybe she didn’t know I knew about her crush on me, but I don’t think I ever really assumed she was straight. It was kind of hard to do that when we’d had that flirtationship or whatever it was when I’d first arrived at Blackwell Academy.

“Penny for your thoughts?” She asked from my left as we walked between stores.  _ Crap. Um… _

“Uh, I don’t know, I’m just kinda…spacing out, I guess,” I replied. It wasn’t totally untrue, really. I got lost in thought like this all the time…which she knew and would tease me for sometimes. I looked over at her. She rolled her eyes.

“Of course you were, Smallfield,” she snarked. I squinted at her, faking a glare.

“Some of us  _ like _ to have meaningful trains of thought going, okay?” I snarked back. She scoffed.

“If it was so meaningful, why did it look like you were about to let your mouth sag open and drool?” I faked gasping in offense, pressing my hand to my chest.

“Why,  _ Victoria! _ How rude of you!” I exclaimed, my look of shock fading a little into amusement. She chuckled.

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you? I’m not the nicest person around here.”

“I would have  _ never _ guessed,” I replied, voice laden with sarcasm.

The back-and-forth banter continued between us as we moved through most of the clothing stores. She’d wanted to stop in a Bvlgari outlet, which was sort of a weird experience for me. I felt wholly under-dressed and out of my element and I think it showed because she kept poking fun at my sense of style, holding purses and jackets and accessories up to me as if trying to picture me wearing them…and then, of course, chuckling a little. I played along, it was all in good fun, but I couldn’t stop a hint of my self-conscious streak from coming to mind.

It wasn’t that I wanted to be rich — not really. Wealth wasn’t something that really meant much to me. But to be able to go out and buy something nice for myself like that every once in a while would be nice. It wasn’t something I had experience with, really. Maybe sometimes, at home with my parents, I’d get a treat…but it definitely wasn’t  _ Bvlgari _ or anything.

And I didn’t hold it against Victoria, either. She clearly wasn’t being malicious, which admittedly was a welcome change. She’d flaunted her money and status many a time before, always to the effect of making others feel inferior. In the store, she was just joking about style. Money didn’t matter. Our difference in social status didn’t matter.

Of course, she’d ended up finding something she liked and “saw no reason not to get it” — it looked good on her, after all, and she knew it. I tried not to think about how many months of the money my parents sent me it would take to buy it when I saw her total at the register. As we walked out of the store, she crossed her arms and looked at me with a half-smile.

“So. Now that you endured that bit of torture…where are you dragging  _ me _ to?” She asked.

“So we’re taking turns?”

“Well, it seems only fair.” I shrugged.

“Yeah, I guess so, huh?” I paused, thinking about where we were in the mall and where GameStop was. If we were going to go anywhere that she might be equally out of her element in, it was going to be GameStop. “There’s something I have been meaning to pick up for a while, so…I think I know just the place.”

Victoria huffed and rolled her eyes when she saw where I was veering off to. I smirked.  _ Bingo. _

“Really, Caulfield?” She asked, every bit as exasperated as I’d expected her to be.

“Yep. You made me follow you around a Bvlgari outlet, you can follow me through GameStop.” She sighed. She knew I was right. It was totally fair and I was hoping to have some fun with it to get back at her for throwing me to the wolves…or Teen Wolf wannabe, more accurately…at the print shop.

We walked in and instantly I could tell she was uncomfortable. Her nose scrunched up a bit. Yeah, GameStops could smell a little bit like gamer-dude, and this one was no exception. Nathan was probably her only exposure to video games, really, and he probably wasn’t one to let personal hygiene fall to the wayside…even if he was fucked in the head. He was still a little rich kid with an image to preserve — or, in this case, recover.

“Ugh. I  _ cannot _ believe you dragged me in here,” Victoria grumbled quietly. I chuckled.

“Spoilsport,” I spat back at her. “Fair is fair.” She rolled her eyes.

“Whatever.”

I had no trouble finding the game Warren had recommended but I wanted to take my time and really make her have to deal with this since she’d held all those clothes and shit up to me in the outlet. I asked her what she thought about various games and game genres until she looked like she was about ready to choke me out if I asked her about anything else.

“Do you ladies need any help with anything?” The voice of the sole employee in the store startled us both, causing us both to stiffen a little before turning to look at him. Vic crossed her arms. I looked at the case for the game I was holding and put it back on the shelf.

“Um, no, thanks…we’re just looking around,” I answered, trying to get a grip on my breathing after being spooked like that. Jump scares were  _ not _ my thing for a reason, obviously.

“Well, if you are thinking about getting something for Valentine’s Day, I know it is coming u—”

“No, we are not doing anything together—”

“Nope, thanks, I am goo—”

Victoria and I had both interrupted the poor guy at the exact same time. We stopped mid-sentence to look at each other. I’m sure I looked as panicked as she did. I could feel the muscles in my face as if they were stone and my eyes felt dry from the shitty mall air. The employee took a step back, chuckling nervously.

“Sorry, uh…sorry to assume. You guys…figure out whatever you need, let me know if you need any help or anything,” he stammered before walking back to the desk where the registers were.

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding and picked the game I was buying back up off the shelf. Victoria was staring aimlessly at the wall of games, breathing slowly but obviously in a measured, intentional way.  _ Why do people keep assuming we’re together? _ I wondered, frustrated. My plan to make her uncomfortable had ended up making  _ me _ uncomfortable because of it, too. Which sucked.

“Anyway, uh…I’m good, I think,” I told her, gesturing with the game I was holding. “This is all I really needed.” She shot a glare at me.

_ “Really, _ Max? You only need that one game that you picked up within minutes of us being in here but you made me go through the whole store.” I chuckled nervously.

“Yeah, I thought it was justice for how you made me do all the talking in the print shop earlier,” I admitted kind of playfully. She rolled her eyes, some of the tension leaving her frame.

“Whatever, Caulfield.” She’d been using my last name a lot today. It was usually playful but it felt like she was kind of keeping a distance between us by doing that. I was probably making that up, though. Or, if I wasn’t, it was probably subconscious on her end. She had a bunch of defense mechanisms, I’d quickly come to find out. They were pretty simple, and predictable, but there were a  _ lot  _ of them.

The exchange with the employee when I had to buy the game was not as awkward as I’d kind of expected it to be, thankfully. He’d been quiet, and awkward, yeah, but he’d also been quick and I just tried to act as normally as possible. Vic stood a little bit away from the register, ready to leave.

“So,” she said once we’d gotten outside of the store and started walking again. “People keep acting like we’re...a thing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Victoria, Victoria...what are we gonna *do* with you, girl? :P
> 
> And to anyone who's wondered when this "semi-" slow burn is gonna pick up...we are verrrrry close to some of it. That's all I'm sayin'.


	17. Chapter 17

_ Victoria _ __   
_ 5:47 PM _ __   
_ January 23, 2015 _ __   
__ Portland, Oregon   
  


I looked at Max to see if I could read her. Sometimes you could like...see her thoughts go through her eyes. Like you could watch the emotions run through her. I tried to get a read on her quickly, though, so she maybe wouldn’t notice I was gauging her reaction. I couldn’t really tell what she was thinking this time, though.

“Um...yeah,” she said. “It’s...a  _ little _ weird, I guess.” She paused and looked at me. “Why do you think that is? I mean, we’re hardly friends, let alone...” She trailed off. I looked away from her, making my way towards Nordstrom Rack. It wasn’t the most  _ glamorous _ store but it was the closest thing they had in terms of department stores and not outlets.

“Yeah,” I replied. “Maybe it’s  _ because _ we’re so different. Since, like, what would the two of  _ us _ be doing out together and...getting along...if we weren’t dating.”

“Oh,” she said. “That...actually makes a lot of sense. Huh.” She seemed to sort of get lost in thought after that. I didn’t know what else to say but I also didn’t want things to get  _ weird _ between us. I didn’t want to fuck things up. I knew that what friendship we  _ were _ developing was...tenuous. And tentative. Definitely not guaranteed. And I didn’t want her to get the wrong idea, either. I might have liked her for well over a year at that point but she didn’t need to know that and I didn’t want her to think that was why we were getting close.

I wasn’t sure if she knew I liked her or not. I assumed she knew I did at  _ some _ point because of our interactions when she first got to Blackwell. But I didn’t know if she remembered that or thought I  _ still _ liked her...so I was trying to play it cool. She...had Chloe. The thought made me feel sour. She had Chloe to be with. And had probably literally forgotten about me and what we had at first. What we had  _ first. We _ had something before  _ Chloe _ was ever in the picture. Like, sure, Chloe and her were best friends since like...forever. Whatever. She  _ probably _ liked her then or something. But...that had been  _ years _ before I met her. 

I knew it wasn’t fair to think like that, to think like she was in some way  _ mine first _ or anything. It wasn’t like...I thought of her as mine, ever. But I  _ wanted _ her to be.  _ So _ fucking bad. And...even though she was generally happy with Chloe I wouldn’t  _ deny _ her if the opportunity ever came up. Which...I knew was dangerous to think, too. Like...that would mean she’d either lose Chloe or cheat on her. Which she wouldn’t do. She...wasn’t like that at all. She was  _ nothing _ like the Vortex Club sluts who played around and played each other and, like, knew about it, too.

But that didn’t make me any less angry that Chloe had come in and swept her away and...whatever else. Because that wasn’t the first time that Chloe had gotten in my way or taken a girl away from me. There was...Rachel. Who I caught cheating on me with Chloe. Like...making out against the side of the Blackwell Academy gym at a dance kind of caught. Not just some, like, messages or whatever. I broke that shit off  _ immediately. _ And I  _ never _ forgave her. Like, yeah. I tried to be a little gentler about her after we found out she had been taken by that fucking creep Jefferson and got killed but...I was still pissed at Chloe.

I guess Rachel had been sleeping around on, like, half of the town. So that was nasty but...I had really liked her. She was...my first for a lot of things. And, I really liked her on a lot of levels. We understood each other, it seemed. Since, like, we both came from similar family situations and shit. We cared about a lot of the same things in our appearance and how people saw us. All of that we had in common. And she wanted to keep it a quiet thing, too...although now I know why and it had  _ nothing _ to do with staying in the closet. Ugh.

* * *

Thankfully, the rest of our time at the mall wasn’t, like, awkward or anything after that. I felt weird, sort of, knowing Max now knew that I was gay. I’d...fooled around, I guess, with guys when I was drunk enough at parties, but it never went anywhere below the waist. Fuck that. I only did it so people would think I was straight, anyway. All the guys were disappointed every time even if we’d made out before. I would  _ tell _ them first that it wasn’t going to go anywhere and that, if they wanted out, they could bail. Of course, they were drunk and horny so they never bailed and always tried to get me to be into doing more. I could barely stomach their coarse skin, end of the day stubble, and clumsy hands as it was.

Every now and then I’d have what I guess would be considered a “boy toy,” or almost boyfriend, for a few weeks. I knew I shouldn’t string people along like that, but. Sometimes I just had to do things for my public image. Even if they were...bad. I tried to pick guys who wouldn’t be all about getting drunk and fucking anyway so there wasn’t a lot of conflict in  _ that _ department. I’d keep it casual and act like I wasn’t sure how I felt so I could bail when I couldn’t do it anymore.

At least I could tell Taylor about it. I hadn’t told her about Max until that party but she at least thought I was at least bi or something. I had to have  _ someone _ to bitch about the boys to and Nate wasn’t exactly the  _ best _ person for that. Even  _ if _ he knew I liked girls since, like, I figured it out.  _ He _ only knew so much because we were best friends so he was the only one I felt like I could mostly safely turn to when I was trying to figure out why I didn’t like boys. Especially since our parents wanted  _ us _ to be together and I was just like, “I don’t think it’s just  _ you, _ Nate. I don’t think I like boys.”

Back at the print shop the boy...Timothy, I think was his name...I didn’t really get a good look at him or his nametag since I did  _ not _ want to be the one who had to deal with him. Anyway. Timothy had the prints all ready for us and was really helpful with the transaction. I  _ think _ he was trying to, like, flirt with Max or something but she just kind of tried to rush things along when  _ that _ happened. Which was good because the schmoozing tone  _ Timothy _ had was  _ really _ getting on my nerves. I can be a jealous bitch sometimes. Whatever.

The prints were packaged in some of those cardboard rolls that posters come in so I wanted to make sure we got them back to my room soon enough that they wouldn’t be permanently curved in the direction they were put into the tubes. We needed them to be flat to put on the poster board Max had picked up soon. This whole project was only a week so we needed them to be ready to go in just two days.

I was glad that they were put in something like tubes because, with all the wind, it would have been  _ insane _ trying to get them to the car. Even if we were, like, just a few blocks away from the parking garage, it was still windy in there. And even if they were in a square cardboard box or whatever...that would have been hard to carry. Unruly as fuck. So, thankfully, the poster rolls didn’t give us much of an issue at all when we were going back to the car. There were two of them, so, with our shopping bags, we took one tube each to carry.

Once we put the tubes and our bags in my trunk, I met Max in the car. Closing the door behind me, I let out a little sigh and looked at her.

“Well. Did you have an alright time?” I asked her. She looked at me with a small smile.

“Yeah, I did,” she replied. I smiled back a little.

“Good.” I put the key in the ignition and turned the car on. “I’m glad.”

Max looked out the window, resting her chin on her palm. I plugged my phone into the aux cord and charger and scrolled down to a playlist I  _ hoped _ was not too pop for her. It was, like, mostly indie covers of pop songs or older pop. It was like a nostalgia playlist or whatever. I hit shuffle on it and put my hand on the gear shift and looked over at her.

“You know, Victoria,” she started. She turned to look at me. I waited to put the car in reverse until she was done. “I’m glad you feel like you can trust me. With...you know, personal shit. Like your sexuality. And that you like...don’t feel fucking weird hanging out with me.” I raised my eyebrows. I was surprised. I wasn’t expecting this sort of thing...although maybe I should have, considering it wasn’t like this sort of thing was out of character for Max. She was always so...deep almost. Introspective or whatever. “I  _ am _ serious about making this work.”

I took a deep breath and turned to look out the back window while I put the car in reverse and started to pull out of the parking spot. I wasn’t sure how to respond.  _ “Making this work.” _ That was... _ ugh. _ I felt my cheeks heat up. I hoped she wouldn’t see but I could feel her eyes were still on me. Once I had pulled out and put the car in drive, I looked forward, trying to avoid her inquisitive stare. “Making this work” was something  _ couples _ said. Not...friends who, like, used to have mutual crushes on each other.

“Yeah. Um.” I had trouble forming a response and it showed.  _ Fuck. _ “I am, too,” I finally settled on saying. I really wanted this to work, so. I mean, this friendship. I didn’t  _ want _ my feelings to get in the way. Or our past to get in the way.  _ We’ve been through a lot together, really, so it would be nice to be on each other’s side, I think _ .

“Cool,” she said, finally turning away from me to look back out the window. She rested her head back on her hand. Her foot was tapping along to the rhythm of the song.  _ Cool. She doesn’t hate this music, _ I thought.

“You know...you aren’t that bad to hang out with, really,” she said. She sort of chuckled at the end and looked at me, her hand propping her head up by her cheek. She had this, like...I wouldn’t say  _ lazy _ smile but...carefree, I guess. Open. That’s what it was like. There was no bullshit behind it. She wasn’t  _ just _ being nice like this to get through the project. I was pretty sure of that now.

“Neither are you, Caulfield,” I replied, looking back at the road. “In fact...” I let myself smile a little. “I think I sort of like it.” It was...maybe a little risky. But it was true. I hoped she wouldn’t look too deeply into that. She might...especially if she thought I still liked her. But I was trying to play along. She was  _ obviously _ trying to tease me about how I act about social status at school and how I normally...really wouldn’t be caught  _ dead _ hanging out with her. I heard her exhale sort of a chuckle through her nose.

“I like it, too, Vic. I like it, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...the girls are approaching the end of their project week. Kinda leaves them at a crossroads, dunnit?  
> I like Victoria chapters, honestly. Her psyche is fun to delve into. And it's fun to limit how much of *Max's* psyche we see.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! An off-week update :)
> 
> I'm posting this because it's one of my dear readers' birthday this week -- so happy birthday! You really lucked out on the timing for this because I wrote this chapter back in NOVEMBER...so this juicy chapter wasn't added to or spiced up as a gift, you just have impeccable timing.
> 
> Enjoy, everyone, and I'll see you next week.

_ Max _ __   
_ 3:34 PM _ __   
_ January 24, 2015 _ _   
_ __ Arcadia Bay, Oregon

 

We were in the final stages of preparing for our project. Ms. Grant had given us the period to work with our group partners wherever we needed to to finish up, so we were in Victoria’s room, applying our prints to the poster board I had picked up before our trip to Portland. There really wasn’t much else we needed to do. I was smoothing down the corner of one of the prints when Victoria started to speak.

“Um.” I looked up at her. “I was wondering,” she said, in that matter-of-fact tone she tends to get, “...what do we do after this project is over?” I looked at her, keeping my face kind of neutral. I was pretty sure she meant about our friendship, if you could call it that yet, but I didn’t want to assume. “Like, about…us,” she finished. I looked back down at the print and leaned back, sitting on my feet. I sighed and looked back at her.

“I guess that’s up to you,” I replied, since…pretty much it  _ was _ all up to her. I was cool with trying to be her friend at this point. She was fun to hang out with and she was funny and witty which…no offense to them, of course, but…Kate and Warren kind of lacked that. Warren… _ tried _ but it was always really cringey and nerdy and not in the good-and-fun kind of nerd way. It was like…dad jokes and puns on a whole other level. One that not even I would go to. And I love that kind of shit. Plus, it was pretty neat getting an insider’s look at the Vortex Club and the lives of the social elite.

Victoria sighed and stood, going over to her window and looking out of it. She wrapped her arms around her midsection, not really crossing them but not exactly hugging herself either. She looked tense.

“I want to be your friend, Max,” she replied in earnest. “I just don’t know how to be that. Not here at Blackwell, at least.” I nodded, though she probably didn’t see me do so. She sighed again and looked at me. Her features were largely unreadable but I could see she was feeling really torn. She seemed like she wanted to say something but sort of also couldn’t.

“I would like that,” I replied. She seemed kind of relieved that I had spoken up. “I know it wouldn’t be the  _ easiest _ thing to arrange,” I acknowledged. “But…I think it’s possible. I mean, look at this past week. We made it through without anyone really noticing.” I paused, wondering if anyone  _ had _ asked her about her being around me. “Right?”

Victoria nodded and walked over to the prints. She sat next to me, arms still wrapped around herself. I looked down at the prints, trying to see which ones were left to paste on and where the corresponding poster boards were. She crossed her legs carefully. I heard her tights slide against each other as she did so — she was wearing sort of a signature Victoria look, a collared shirt under a (probably cashmere) cardigan with an almost-knee-length skirt and dark tights. I looked back at the poster boards. I hadn’t realized I had turned to look at her.

“Nobody has asked me about you, if that’s what you’re asking,” she finally replied. I nodded and relaxed a little. That was good news. I’d often wondered, after we’d hung out or worked on our project, if anyone had seen me leave her room or heard us talking. Or especially if they had seen us leave campus together to get the prints made.

“Okay,” I said. I looked back at her and met her eyes. She was slowly relaxing — I could tell because there was less ice in her gaze. I offered a half-smile. “I’m…glad, actually. That you want to be my friend, I mean.” I looked down a little. Her hands were folded in her lap and her fingers were intertwined, almost rubbing together like a nervous habit. They stopped moving almost as soon as I looked down. I suddenly felt insecure. I looked back up at her. “I mean, you want that, right? You aren’t just…going along with this because you feel bad or anything, right? I don’t want to be, like…a pity friend or somethi—” She interrupted me.

“I want to be your friend, Max,” she replied, leaning forward a little to hold my gaze. I had kind of started doing that nervous, darting my eyes around the room thing. I tried not to look away. She looked dead serious. Stern, even. There was conviction there. Sure, I had felt like maybe she really did want to be my friend, especially with how she sort of relaxed around me, but I also was hella insecure. So to hear that, directly from her, reassured me.

“Okay,” I replied. I felt anxious. I wasn’t sure what to say or do.

“You…” Victoria half-rolled her eyes and looked off to the side for a second. “You’re already a better friend to me than, like…at least half of the Vortex Club. More probably.” My eyebrows raised.

“Really?” I asked, surprised. She looked back at me.

“Really, Max. I actually  _ like _ spending time with you. It…isn’t a chore for once. It feels like such a  _ chore _ to hang out with some of them. I…” She stopped, looking away again. Victoria Chase obviously did  _ not _ do personal conversations. She seemed like a fish out of water trying to talk about this. I wanted to spare her from the awkwardness that was quickly building.

“It’s okay, Victoria, I get it. I do. Sometimes I just…feel like you’re probably being nice to me not because you actually  _ like _ me but because you feel like you  _ have _ to. And I don’t want to be another obligation for you. I don’t want to put that sort of burden on you. You have enough on your plate to work with as it is.” I sighed, letting a little tension out of my body. “It’s just good to know that I’m not working on something for nothing, you know?” She nodded.

“It is not for nothing, Max. Promise.” I nodded and sighed, turning back to our prints.

“Let us get this shit done with,” I said. “Maybe then we can watch some more Doctor Who or something,” I suggested. She shrugged.

“I wouldn’t be opposed to that. Are you just going to skip your last period?” She asked. I shrugged. I was ahead in the class as it was because for some reason the Spanish professor felt like going over the end of the last semester at the start of this semester so I wasn’t really too concerned about it.

“I mean, he’s just sort of going over the end of last semester,” I told her. “It isn’t anything new to me so I don’t even really need to  _ be _ there.” She hummed.

“Okay,” she replied. “I guess we can chill, then.” I smiled at her.

“Cool,” I said. I felt a few pounds lighter.

“Cool.”

* * *

It really didn’t take us very long to finish putting the prints on the poster boards and put the finishing touches on both the video portion and the written portion we had planned. I was standing by her printer, waiting for the printout of our written and spoken portions, when she stood up and ran her hands down the front of her skirt, smoothing out any creases that had gathered there while sitting and working on our visual pieces. She looked up at me after she was done. I had my hand reached out to her printer, waiting for it to deliver the pieces of paper into my palm.

“So,” she said. “Doctor Who? Or did you want to watch something else.” It was, as usual, more of a statement than a question. “Or  _ do _ something else. We don’t  _ have _ to watch something,” she added on. I pinched the printout between my thumb and palm. I picked it up and made sure all of the pages printed out correctly. I thought for a moment as I walked over to put the pages into our project folder.

“I mean…” I paused, tucking the papers into the pocket neatly. “What else even is there to do? I mean, for us, since we can’t just…easily hang out and do what we want where we want without people wondering what the fuck we’re doing?” I looked up at her. She pinched her chin between her thumb and forefinger and looked down at me, clearly in thought.

“Well,” she began. There was a long pause. I could see her mulling the options over in her head. “I guess I have a couple of board games in my closet I could bring out. My parents wanted me to bring them to, like…I don’t know, maybe give the Vortex Club something to do other than party. I think it was wishful thinking on their part, but. I do have them still.”

_ Board games. Hmm.  _ I thought about it for a second.  _ What kind of board games would Victoria Chase even have? Were they all party games? _ I wondered.

“What do you have?” I asked. She walked over to her closet, pulling the folding door a bit farther open. She looked at the top shelf towards the right. From where I was, I could see a few boxes that looked like they were probably the board games. I couldn't quite tell what they were from where I was sitting because they were partially obscured and in the dark but I figured she'd just tell me.

"I have…Scrabble, Chinese Checkers, Bananagrams, and…well, you can't really play  _ that _ with just two people." Her voice lowered to a murmur. "Not that you'd want to play that with me anyway," she muttered. I wasn't sure I was supposed to overhear that, so I tried to ignore it. I really wanted to know what it was, though.

"Uh, Scrabble is good, I think," I replied. The others weren't exactly fantastic for just two people to play. Chinese Checkers, maybe, but that wasn't very engaging of a game. Scrabble at least would be something that would take up some time and require us to think a bit harder about what we were doing. I liked games like that, games that made you think or that required problem-solving skills. She was witty, too, so I had a feeling it would be a pretty good time. She nodded, reaching up to grab the box. It was somewhere towards the middle.

"Okay, cool," she said, lowering back down to her feet. I tried to peer around her to see what the last game was that she'd listed. When the light from the room washed back over the boxes, I was able to make out what it was — Twister. I rolled my eyes. Of  _ course _ it was Twister. I doubted her parents made her bring  _ that _ one. I chuckled internally about it.  _ Twister with Victoria Chase...yeah, right. What a joke. Especially…just the two of us. _

For a moment, an image flashed into my mind of us trying to play it. I'd played Twister with just one other person before, with Chloe and, later on in Seattle, with Kristen. It had been really entertaining, honestly, but I had a little trouble thinking about doing that with  _ Victoria. _ For just a moment, in my head, I'd pictured it — her limbs weaving in and around mine, me trying to reach for the spinner…I shook my head and laughed a little — out loud, unfortunately, which drew her attention.

"What, Caulfield?" She asked. I cleared my throat to cut off the chuckling and tried to wipe the smile off of my face.

"Um, nothing," I replied. I felt a wave of dread roll through me.  _ Don't ask me about it, don't pry, don't ask, _ I begged internally.

"Well, clearly it's  _ something _ if you're laughing about it like that," she replied. I groaned in my thoughts.  _ Why? Why the fuck did she always  _ have _ to know these things? Couldn't I just...get away with not saying anything? Couldn't I just, for once, not have to explain something to her? _

"Uh, it was just…something I was thinking about. I got reminded of something I'd done with friends before," I replied. I tried to keep it vague, hoping that was enough for her. But, of course, as is the way with her, she wouldn’t let it go.

"Well. Don't hold back on me, Caulfield," she replied. It was so annoying how she prodded like this but...it was okay, I guess. I sighed. I wasn't going to get away with this, it was clear.

"For a second, I imagined us trying to play Twister, honestly." I gestured towards the shelf in her closet. "I saw it when you took the Scrabble board down," I explained. She tensed up for a second before putting the Scrabble box on the coffee table. I went ahead and straightened up the rest of our papers, grabbing the poster boards as well and leaning them up against the wall by her closet. She took a seat on the couch, opening the Scrabble box up and beginning to place the things on the coffee table — the board first, then two of the little letter holders, and finally the bag of letter tiles. I took a seat opposite her, on the floor.

"Well don't get your hopes up on that one, Caulfield," she said, a little bit of ice in her voice. I nearly flinched. It wasn't like I was  _ hoping _ for us to play it or anything, it had just been an entertaining thought. I voiced as much to her.

"I mean, I wasn't thinking we  _ should _ play it or anything," I began. "I've just tried to play Twister with only two people a couple of times now and it was...pretty funny, really. That's all." She huffed.

"Um. Good." She didn't seem as stern as she had at first. If anything, there was a little bit of insecurity in her voice, I thought. "Not like I want to get anywhere  _ near _ your hippie ass anyway," she finished, though the insult was a bit weak for her. It felt like an afterthought, if anything.

"Uh, right," I replied dumbly. Her hands hovered over the bag of letter tiles. "Ready to play?" I asked. She seemed to snap back into focus from...wherever her mind was. She picked up the bag and dumped the tiles onto the coffee table in the space next to the board. She started turning the tiles that had come out face-up over. I reached over to help.

"So, you've played Twister with someone alone before, huh? Chloe, I'll bet," she said shortly. It was biting, the tone in her voice. I hazarded a glance up at her. She looked like she  _ maybe _ didn't mean to say that or at least kind of regretted saying it.

I opened my mouth to respond to her quip with a bit of a stinging thought of my own when my fingers slid in between hers — we had both reached for the same tile at the same time. I froze. I noticed she tensed up, too. I looked up from our hands to her. She did the same. I held my breath. Fuck. This wasn't good. This was...really, definitely,  _ super _ not good.  _ Move, Caulfield! _ I chastised myself. I shouldn't be just...sitting there with my fingers between hers when we were talking about  _ Twister _ of all things. Talking about whether or not Chloe and I had played Twister  _ alone _ before. It was...oh boy. This was...not good.


	19. Chapter 19

_Victoria_  
_5:46 PM_  
_January 24, 2015_ _  
_ Arcadia Bay, Oregon

 

Oh god. Caulfield's fingers were basically tangled between mine. Right after I had said that stupid thing about Chloe and her playing Twister alone. _Jesus Christ, Victoria,_ I scolded myself.

It felt like a bad fucking romance novel. It felt like I was in one of those cliche scenes where the two lovers-to-be touch hands and feel sparks or whatever. I mean, there weren't _sparks_ or anything, but there was definitely...at least awkward tension. I felt like I couldn't breathe...or swallow even. I didn't know how to respond. I mean. I _knew_ I should move my hand but I sort of felt like moving my hand would acknowledge that this was happening, which...I did _not_ want to do. Why wasn't _she_ moving? Why didn't _she_ take her hand away from mine? It wasn't like _she_ had any reason to feel weird about this. Like...it made sense that I would feel weird from it because, like...I liked her. That was obvious and I really hoped it wasn't obvious to _her._ I hoped that _she_ wasn't paying attention to that. That she hadn't noticed that my feelings were still there. Especially since I had just, like, convinced her that I wanted to be her friend and make this whole thing work and that all the work we'd done together wasn't for nothing. Because, like, I didn't want it to be for nothing. I _wanted_ her to be my friend. I mean, I wanted _more_ than that, but friends...would work. I at _least_ didn't want things to be _weird_ or _bad_ between us. Which, I was afraid was happening right before my eyes because of how we both froze there.

I tried swallowing. It felt hard and felt like I had _nasty_ cottonmouth or something from smoking too much. She blinked and glanced at my throat when I'd swallowed. _Fuck._ It was even obvious to _her_ that I was struggling with this.

"Um," She said. I felt the muscles in her arm twitch a little but stay tense. Suddenly, she drew her hand back. "Sorry," she muttered.

"Um. No, um." I stammered. _Fuck._ I needed to get my head in the game. _FOCUS, Victoria,_ I told myself. _“I’m_ sorry," I finished. She was looking down at her hand, which she'd placed on the edge of the table, almost like she was half holding on to it. I pulled my hand back quickly, realizing I _still_ hadn't moved. "Um." I didn't know what to say or do. We were both, like...not _acknowledging_ what had just happened but acknowledging it. If that made sense. Because, like, we _could_ have just gone ahead and moved on and acted like nothing happened but we were both being dodgy and weird.

 _What if I had just fucked this up? What if I had just fucked up whatever chance I had at being friends with Max Caulfield? What the fuck. What the fuck is_ wrong _with me? Why can't I just...act_ normal _around her?_ It was _still_ always one extreme or the other. I'd either be a fucking crushing mess or a total bitch. I felt like a teenager all over again. Not that I was much older than that at 20 but...I felt like a _young_ teenager again. Like, early crush stages. _Fucking foolish._ I felt so fucking stupid. It was...a mess already. Maybe we _couldn’t_ be friends. Maybe it just wouldn't work between us. Maybe my feelings were too much. I didn't _want_ to think like that, but. What the fuck was I going to do? Go, _"Oh, sorry for halfway holding your hand like a teenager with a crush, I just happen to really fucking_ like _you and I don't know how to deal with that?"_ Fucking. As. If.

Caulfield cleared her throat and rubbed her hands together a little. I saw the tips of her fingers feeling between the fingers of the hand that had been basically interlinked with mine. I _wanted_ to do that. I _wanted_ to feel where her fingers had been...but I figured she would notice. I mean, I noticed _her_ doing that, so obviously _she_ would notice if I did it, too. I wondered what she was thinking. I wanted her to say something. Or do something. _Anything._ Because this was going on longer than I figured it should have and that was...unnerving. The longer this weird silence went on the weirder it would get. We were so fucking close to being _done_ with this project and making a _real_ friendship between us. _I didn't want to fuck this up but I think I just did,_ I told myself. I realized I had my hand cradled against my chest and quickly put my hands down in my lap. I discreetly ran my fingers along where her fingers had been since my hands were basically under the table at that point.

"I...didn't mean to freeze up like that, I'm sorry," she said. "I hope that didn't, like, make things too _weird_ between us or anything," she continued quietly. _Where was she finding the balls to say this shit?_ I wondered. It was like she was just...verbalizing thoughts. Although it wasn't like I really knew what _else_ to say.

"Um. No," I replied quickly. "It's not too weird. I just...wasn't expecting it. That's all." I settled on that explanation. It was just...unexpected. That wasn't a _lie,_ really, so...I figured it was fine.

"Uh...yeah," she replied. I turned my attention back to the tiles and to finish turning them over. We were both really careful of where our hands were, I noticed. Or at least I was careful about _mine._ She seemed to be staying on her side of the table for the most part, so I assumed she was, too.

It was just really overwhelming for me to think about how, like, basically we had held hands. We had almost held. Hands. _I almost held hands with Max Caulfield._ The thought _should_ repulse me. It _should_ make me feel gross or like I should blame her or whatever. I just...really didn't want to be like that anymore. Plus. I liked Caulfield _a lot._ And I had for, like, ever. I rolled my eyes a little bit. Typical. Nothing could _ever_ be simple for me. Of course not. And that was the problem. This was...so complicated.

"You alright?" She asked. I realized I hadn't really moved for a minute. I was sitting there feeling the spaces between my fingers that her fingers had barely been in again. I cleared my throat.

"Um. Yeah." I started taking tiles from the pile, getting ready to turn them over and see what I had for the game. "I'm fine. Let's play." She raised an eyebrow like she didn't believe me. I just wanted to move on from what had happened. There was no point in trying to go over it. There was nothing to talk about. _Nothing._ We just...almost held hands for, like, a whole minute. But. That meant nothing. It was just. An accident. _It didn't_ mean _anything._

It didn't really matter how many times I told myself that. I stared at my tiles. It...sort of stung to think that it meant nothing. Of course, it _didn’t_ mean anything to her. She was taken. And happily so. I wasn’t anything to her other than, like, _maybe_ a friend. If we even were _that_ anymore. I really hoped that she still wanted that with me. I didn't want to have fucked things up. I kept thinking that. Just... _I hope I didn't fuck up._ I mean. Some of that was on _her,_ right? Right. It _had_ to be. _She_ could have pulled away. God I was just...thinking myself in circles. Which, wasn't helping.

"Seriously, Victoria. Are you okay?" I looked up at her and tried to put up my walls and hide what was going on in my head. I totally _wasn’t_ getting fucked up over maybe losing this friendship. Of course not.

"I'm fine," I said.

"Are _we_ okay?" She asked, like... _immediately_ after I answered. I hesitated.

"Um. Why wouldn't we be." I tried to just...deflect. I figured I would be better off making _her_ figure out that it was...a little weird to consider that such a normal occurance meant anything or could mess things up between us.

"Um." She paused. I knew it was wrong to put that pressure on her, especially considering, like, _she_ really _didn’t_ have a reason for it to be weird. She was just...happily taken. She had let go of whatever feelings she might have had a year and a half ago. If there even _were_ feelings there. I had never asked and she had never said as much. I mean, I was pretty sure there _were_ feelings, considering how she looked like she wanted to fucking eat me alive when I'd back her up against the lockers...I tried not to think any more about that. My heart rate picked up. _Oh god. Now is...really not the time for that._

"I don't know," she finally continued. "I mean, we just like...held hands, basically. That doesn't, like, make things weird right?" She asked. She glanced down at her tiles and then back up at me. I started putting my tiles up on my board and she followed suit. I looked over my letters while trying to think of a response. I _really_ needed this conversation to end. Soon. Because I had already thought of something that...affected me. And that _wasn’t_ good. Not while _she_ was here. If there was one thing I lacked it was tact and I _really_ didn't need that to come out now. Not while I was thinking about...I shook my head to clear my thoughts, maybe.

"Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I want to hold your hand, Caulfield," I said. It came out harsher than I wanted it to. I glanced up at her. I hoped that I hadn't hurt her. I mean. It wasn't like she _should_ be hurt by that or anything. She shouldn't. _But._ I looked up anyway and saw her take a deep breath and fight back a grimace. Even if the words didn't affect her, I _had_ been a little colder than I wanted to be. "Sorry. I didn't mean for that to be so...cold." She nodded and swapped around a few tiles on her board before laying them out on the game board. H-A-I-L. Hail was her first word. I looked down at my board to think of a word to make off of those letters.

"It's okay," she replied. "I mean, it's not like I thought that meant that." I laid out some tiles. L-A-I-R was my word stemming off of the L in hers. I was tempted to do LIAR but it somehow didn’t feel appropriate for the moment. She shuffled a few pieces around while I picked up tiles to bring me back up to a full hand. "I just, um..." She took a deep breath. Was she going to say something about my feelings for her? Did she _know_ about them? I held my breath. We had _never_ said anything about _any_ feelings before. Not even back when we had basically a, like, power-play flirtationship. The closest we came was when I told her one time not to "make it gay" in front of people. "I know this can't be easy for you," she began. "I mean... _us._ This...friendship, if you still want that. It can't be easy for you." She was... _sort of_ touching on my feelings for her. _Fuck._ She looked up at me. Her gaze was...gentle. It wasn't, like...accusing me of anything. She seemed genuinely concerned. Which didn't help me.

"Um. I mean, why?" I asked. _"Why_ would it be hard." I wrapped my arms around my torso. I felt vulnerable. Exposed. The only people I'd ever talked to about my feelings for her were Nathan and Taylor. And even then it was mostly me venting about how much I liked her. Not talking about how things might be hard for me or anything... _exposing_ like that. The closest I'd been was the night after that party with Taylor. Max rested her hands on the coffee table and sighed.

"Do you really want me to spell this out?" She asked. She seemed...oddly calm. She was usually an anxious mess. In fact...just a few minutes earlier, she had seemed really insecure and unsure. The change in demeanor caught me off guard. It was like...no matter what I said she would be ready for it. I'd seen her act like that a couple other times but it was usually in class when she was suddenly called on when I _knew_ she hadn't been paying attention. I never knew how she did it and it was weird to be on the receiving end of it.

"Um. No. I...really _don’t_ want that." She shrugged.

"I already know, Vic," she said gently. I was shaken. It felt like someone had just taken the ground out from under my feet and left it askew when they put it back. "You don't have to feel so much like you have to hide around me." The calm in her voice and even her facial expression was a little betrayed by the slight uncertainty I saw in her eyes. She...knew. She knew. She _had_ known.

"How long?" I asked. She laid another word down on the game board but I wasn't paying attention to that anymore.

"Well, it depends,” she said, never taking her eyes off the game as she refilled her letter tray. “Did you ever _stop_ liking me?"

"I..." I hesitated. _She said it. She said. Out loud. That she knew I liked her. That I liked her_ then _and that I_ still _like her._ I looked away for a minute, not really focusing on anything in particular in my room. "No," I admitted quietly. "No, I didn't."

I didn't look back at her. I didn't want to know how she felt about it. I didn't want to watch the work we'd done crumble under my feet. All because we fucking held hands. It...didn't have to be such a big deal. Why couldn't she just...let it go? Normally I didn't want to let little issues slide because they could _always_ be resolved and gave me a better picture of how someone was acting and feeling. But this...this I would have let go. This I _tried_ to let go, actually.

"Hey," she said quietly. I looked at her. "It's okay,” She continued. "I don't hold it against you or anything."

She was trying to reassure me, I think. But. It wasn't really working that way. If anything, I was getting more and more nervous. I felt like I wanted to get out of the dorm or get _her_ out of my room. Or both. _I could use a run right about now._ I thought. I rolled my eyes, changing my arms from wrapped around me to having them fully crossed. I tried to steady my breathing into something normal. That would show I was in control of this. That I was in control of the _situation._

"Vic..." she said. I looked at her again. One of her hands was resting on the table. The one that had almost held mine. I couldn't help but look at it for a minute. "We don't _have_ to be friends," she said. She was implying that this was too much for me. As if I couldn't _handle_ it.

"I can _handle_ this, Caulfield," I snapped at her. "I'm not some fourteen year old boy with a stupid crush, ok? I know what I'm doing. And I _want_ to be your friend. _Just_ friends." I wanted more than that. I wanted _so_ much more than that. But I couldn't tell her. I needed her to think I was getting over her. I needed her to think I was, like, realizing I _only_ wanted to be friends or something. She sighed. She looked down for a second. Why was she acting so...soft? I hated it. I wanted things to be...firm. Final. Decisive. I wanted us to go back to playing fucking Scrabble as two almost-friends. Not...whatever this was.

"Why do you hide behind so many layers Vic?" She asked, looking up at me. She had that inquisitive Max Caulfield look in her eyes. I leaned away from the table a little. I didn't want to be _evaluated_ right now. I wanted to _move on._ Or get _out._

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do...you try so hard to put on this facade. You've even told me about it yourself. And I _know_ part of that is looking like you hate me or don't like me at all, okay? I get it. I do. I know it's not _just_ because I'm some twee hipster idiot." I flinched a little at that. I didn't want her to think she really _was_ that. I had done so much damage to this fucking friendship before it had even started. _Good fucking going, Vic,_ I told myself. "I know you're just trying to preserve your social status. But you don't have to also force yourself to be friends with me if it's too much."

"I said I could _handle_ this, Max." I narrowed my eyes. She was annoying me. "Do you want to be my friend or not." My voice was strong again. Final. I wanted her to know that whatever she said next would decide our future. She paused and looked down at my crossed arms. I glared a little again. "Well?"

"I...do, I think," she said.

"You think."

"No, I..." she hesitated. "I do." She looked back up at me. "But I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to make you do something you can't do. It would be selfish of me to do so."

_It's selfish of me to want to be your friend, Max._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo boy, a heavy Vic chapter. Eat your hearts out, my friends.
> 
> ...and okay honestly I can't wait to get the next few chapters out to you guys so I'm going to be releasing weekly up through chapter 22...then we'll be back to bi-weekly because my cushion for how many chapters I have written ahead is getting smaller and smaller and I can't handle the stress of writing and editing a full chapter every week unfortunately :(
> 
> As always, I love your feedback! You're all amazing and I feel blessed to have such attentive readers who like to actually discuss the work ^^


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, as promised! Happy belated Valentine's Day!  
> This one's a bit of a long one, but I promise it's worth the ride. ;)

_Max_   
_6:18 PM_   
_January 24, 2015_ _  
_ Arcadia Bay, Oregon

 

"Well, that's convincing," Victoria said curtly. She didn’t believe me, for whatever reason, or at least wasn’t acting like she did.

I _did_ want to be her friend. I really did. But I _knew_ she had feelings for me and I didn't want those to come in between us. And I certainly didn't want her to be trying to be my friend when she really couldn't handle it. I mean, it wasn’t that I thought she couldn't but it was really hard to think that she was able to manage those feelings in this situation and not get hurt. Especially if we got close at all, since she had beef with Chloe (and Chloe had beef with her). I knew why but I was pretty sure their anger was misplaced. Not that it was any of my business but...I tended to get myself into these situations where I knew more about someone or something than I "should" because of my powers. I tried not to use them anymore but...sometimes I did. I mean, I had earlier. I had caved. I didn't know how to handle the situation with Victoria and I nearly holding hands for like an entire minute.

It had shaken me. I felt so dumb for freezing up like that. I didn't even know _why_ I had frozen up. I didn't want to hurt her feelings by acting like her touch was the devil or anything but I also didn't want her to think I was, like...some sort of uncertain, crushing teen. Because I wasn't two of those three things. I wasn't crushing and I wasn't a teen. Unsure, though? Oh yeah. Hella unsure. I mean, how was I supposed to be friends with someone who I knew was like...pretty into me and had been for something like a year and a half now?

"Look, Victoria," I began. "I know you have feelings for me. I knew you did back in 2013 and I know you still do now. It's not because you've done anything wrong — you haven't. You've been trying to be respectful, I can tell. And I know that's not easy for you sometimes." I hazarded a half-smile along with that comment to show her I was trying to tease her a little. I hoped it would alleviate some of the awkward air between us. It...maybe did, I think? "But trying to just be friends with someone you really like...I know how hard that can be."

I thought back to that hellish week in 2013 when I had to save Chloe's life over and over. For a few days, we'd been dancing around each other. I thought back even further. Before I went to Seattle. I was starting to realize that maybe I wanted to do more with Chloe than just hang out and play pirates with her. I thought about kissing her.

At the time, it had been really weird and awkward because I was new to the whole attraction thing and didn't know I was gay but there was still the nervousness of messing up or letting her see, somehow, that I liked her, even though I was pretty sure she wouldn't freak out. It was a tension I didn't want to make Victoria feel like she had to put herself through. She'd let me in enough to know how many other tensions _really_ laid on her shoulders. It wasn't fair to her. No matter how much I'd felt like maybe she really could be a friend.

I'll admit it was a little disappointing to think about not being friends with her after just this short amount of time being her sort-of friend. I didn't _have_ many friends. Real friends, at least. There was Kate, Warren, and Chloe. Sure, Alyssa was sort of a friend, too, but we weren't close. We were just...friendly acquaintances, really. So to have another friend, especially someone so _different_ from my other friends...that would be amazing. And she was smart in a way that, no offense to them, but that Kate, Warren, and Chloe weren't. She had a higher level of knowledge about photography and that was awesome. And her perspective was different, which I really dug. I'd started to really enjoy her company, which I was a little surprised by but didn't want to turn away. I didn't _mind_ too much that she liked me because she'd been so respectful so far. I didn't feel like she would dig into me or my relationship and get between Chloe and I. Sure, Chloe would have to get used to her being a part of my life, but...I was allowed to have friends that she didn't like. It wasn't like she was in control of that. She wasn't controlling at _all,_ really, which I was super grateful for.

Victoria hesitated before answering me after a long pause.

"I want to try," she finally said. "I want to try this." She gestured between us. "Being friends, I mean. Like...sure, maybe I like you. Whatever. That doesn't mean we can't, like...be friends or anything. We can spend time together without it being _weird_ or anything," she said. I shrugged.

"I guess that's true. I just don't want you to feel like I'm pushing you into anything you're not _actually_ comfortable with." She laughed at that — nearly a full-blown laugh.

"You? Pushing _me_ into something _I’m_ not comfortable with? That's _rich,_ Caulfield," she said between chuckles. She looked at me and her expression sobered a little. "I'm pretty sure it'd be _me_ pushing _you_ into doing something you're not comfortable with." She paused and took a quick breath in. "I mean! Not that I'd...I wouldn't, like..." I smiled a little.

"I get it, Vic," I assuaged her. "I don't think you're going to pull anything on me, okay?" Her shoulders relaxed — they'd nearly creeped up to her ears in tension. "I trust you." She blinked hard.

"You...trust me."

"I trust you, Vic," I said softly. I did. She was Victoria Chase. If there was one thing she was, it was honorable. She wouldn't _dare_ sully her reputation with _anyone_ — even me — over her feelings. She just wasn't like that. She wouldn't risk that and I knew it. She was so shaken up over possibly messing things up between us just by being a little shocked that our fingers had nearly interlocked over a _game piece._ I _really_ wasn't worried. She slowly relaxed more.

"Okay, Caulfield," she replied. "Okay."

* * *

 It wasn't too weird between us for the rest of the evening. We were able to get back to our game not too long after we'd talked about whether or not we were going to pursue a friendship after this — we were, that hadn't changed, and I'd been able to, without even using my rewind, talk her through my thoughts and her feelings. I explained how I wasn't worried because I knew she was more honorable than that. That seemed to help her _a lot._ She seemed to re-inflate from that, almost. Stroking her ego about her reputation was a bit of a cheap tactic but it worked and helped dissolve the weird atmosphere that had settled in over us.

It wasn't like I personally had any issue being her friend when it came to my feelings. I laid back on my bed, having just returned to my room, and thought about it. Had there been something between Victoria and I once? Yeah, almost. I mean, maybe not almost. There...definitely was. _But that had been so long ago...she still remembered that? Did she...think about that?_ I felt a wave of dread roll through my stomach. I felt a little nauseated. She probably _did_ still think about that. She probably still thought of _me_ that way. I mean, having saved her _life_ probably reinforced some of that. I had to take that into account. For her, I had literally brought her back from the dead. I risked my life, or at least some serious brain damage, for her life (not that she knew _that_ bit, of course, but still). All that after having been in...some sort of flirtationship with her. She hadn't _known_ Chloe and I had reconnected by then. She didn't know for a little while, I don't think, since we weren't around each other for a couple months.

Which meant that the most powerful emotional memories she had of me that she was grappling with were memories of...sexual tension and mutually grasping at the last strands of our lives in that _room._ She was the only one who knew what it was like in there for me...and I was the only one who knew what it was like for her. She knew I'd worked my ass off to keep her safe. After what had seemed like a flirtationship that was rapidly developing into... _something._

I shifted around on my bed, dragging my hands down my face. I rubbed the bridge of my nose. _God. We'd..._ I hadn't thought about this in a long time. The first thing that came to mind was one of my more vivid memories from the time.

* * *

We were in the hall outside the photography classroom. The old one, where it all started. She was saying something to me about my wardrobe or attitude or something, I couldn't entirely remember. It had been so long ago. She was walking closer and closer to me and I was trying to back up. I was staving off a _massive_ panic attack because Nathan and her clique were looking on from about halfway down the hall, along with a few passers-by. I made a retort about her high-and-mighty attitude and she took another few stern steps towards me, her heels echoing on the tile. The lockers rattled embarrassingly behind me as I backed into them, nearly tripping backwards. My eyes darted from Victoria to her chuckling clique to the other, mostly empty end of the hall. Finally, as she started to speak, I locked eyes with her. I was starting to grow frustrated. Which, at the time, was good. It meant I could try to flip the situation around on her. It meant I'd have the courage to stand up to her, stand up for myself, maybe a bit more seriously.

_Maybe I could embarrass_ her _in front of them,_ I thought briefly. I wondered what I'd have to do in order to do that. I imagined grabbing her by her upper arms and turning us around so _she_ was the one pinned against the lockers. My mouth watered and I felt myself flush at the idea. Her eyes widened a little mid-sentence as my demeanor visibly changed. I stood up a little straighter against the lockers, arms a little tense by my sides instead of my hands being splayed against the lockers to hold me up. I narrowed my eyes at her.

_"Fucking try me,"_ I had muttered, too quiet for anyone in the hall to hear but loud enough to be a warning to Victoria. Her eyes snapped from mild surprise to a full-on glare as she leaned in. Her mouth was by my ear and I shuddered when her hot breath hit my neck. I tensed my arms even further to resist grabbing her and flipping us around. I knew I couldn't do that. It was like an unspoken rule between us. I could push back but she always had to come out on top...so to speak. At least to the people around us. I watched a shiver roll through her body ever so slightly. Nobody would have seen it unless they were almost as close as she was to me.

"Don't make this _gay,_ Caulfield," she hissed threateningly.

I had shivered almost violently at that. I don't _think_ anyone would have seen it from far away but I could pick up murmurs from them. Victoria lingered by my ear. Her breath on my neck was torturous.

"I would move if I were you," I told her.

_"Or?"_ She was sassy. She was comfortable in her position of social power over me but I knew that she knew I was just a few paces away from flipping that entire power balance upside-down.

"Or I'll pin you to these fucking lockers and make you wish you'd never approached me," I murmured. Nobody would have been able to hear me or read my lips unless they were an expert lip-reader because I kept my tone low and my lips close together. I heard her inhale sharply.

"Oh, go—” she'd started to practically moan out before she cut herself off. I could feel how still she'd gotten. I could see she'd stopped breathing. She was recomposing herself. I knew the moment was almost over but I relished every second of it. I felt a self-satisfied smirk threaten to break out upon my lips. I wanted to push even more. I wanted to get more out of her.

Tormenting her like this was _intoxicating._ I loved how thick the air felt, how it felt like time was suspended — although it wasn't, I hadn't been doing that. During that week, I had to double-check that a couple of times before because it felt so surreal. It was a liminal space and I couldn't get enough. I'd _never_ held this sort of power over someone yet I'd always longed to. I needed to think of something to say to draw this out. To make her stay this _close_ to me. To feel her staccato breathing on my neck.

"So are you going to just stand there, leaning over me? So I can grab your arms and pin you to these lockers and lean in just like you're leaning into me, breathing down your neck, making you wish nobody was looking or listening? With everyone still there, very _much_ still listening?" It was bold of me. It was pushing the limits of things we'd done and said before. But we'd been escalating. Anyone could see it. It was at the point where if we were in the same space together, people would be wary. They _expected_ us to go at each other as if we were wild animals. Well...not in _that_ sense. Just in terms of how volatile things _appeared_ to be between us. I mean, they _were_ volatile, just not in the way everyone thought. I knew everyone thought we hated each other. And maybe we sort of _did._ But it felt like we were about to rip each other's clothes off half of the time, not that a fight would break out. _Is that what a hatefuck would be?_ I wondered.

Victoria had groaned at my words. I watched the arm that was supporting her as she leaned over me quiver. I felt her eyes close. Her face was brushing up against mine at that point. I felt like I was going to choke if something didn't happen or she didn't get the fuck away from me. And as thrilling as it was to push her buttons, I _really_ didn't want to end up making out...or worse...against the fucking Blackwell Academy lockers. She let out a shaky sigh that gave me chills. _Jesus fucking CHRIST, Victoria, just fucking...god, fucking DO something,_ I pleaded internally.

"Fine. You win. _This_ time," she managed to get out. Her voice grew steadier with each word. I blinked hard, entirely shocked that she'd said I'd _won._ Had I really affected her so deeply? I was blown away. Which probably helped our situation. I probably looked fucking terrified. I wasn't a blusher, I was more of a flusher, so it probably looked like she'd just threatened me with the way I was sure color had somewhat drained from my face and how shocked I looked. _Victoria's_ face, on the other hand...oh, it was red. Very much so. But with the glare she fixed on me when she pulled away, people probably thought she was absolutely enraged by whatever it was I said. At least, that's what I hoped...for both of our sakes. The look in her eyes very much said that I'd pay for what I'd done to her. I resisted a smirk, though I'm sure a bit of a playful look hit my eyes still because she sneered at me. She wouldn't get me back and she knew it.

* * *

I groaned, rolling over on my bed and planting my face right into my pillow. Was I seriously making a mistake here? Was it really a big mistake to try and be friends with her? I _knew_ what it was like to...to want her. I _had_ wanted her. I'd wanted to knock her off her high fucking horse and humiliate her, partially because I just hated how she treated people back then, but also because...god forgive me, she was so fucking _hot_ when she was worked up like that. I wanted to see her on her _knees_ for me.

I brought my arms up around the pillow and as I did so, my thighs rubbed against each other. I shivered. Fuck. Thinking about the past had gotten me worked up. I was...worked up over Victoria. God, that hadn't happened in _ages._ I thought those days were looooong behind me, never to return. But all I had to do was remember how things had built up between us leading up to when shit went down during that awful week where we'd all almost died and...oh, god, I was fucking wet.

_This can_ not _be happening right now,_ I thought, rolling back over and covering my eyes with the heels of my hands. _No, no, no, no, nooooo,_ I groaned internally. _This_ can’t _come back. It can't. I can't let that happen. I'm not even...interested in her anymore. I'm not. She's Victoria Chase, so of course she's beautiful and still pushes people around like they're toys, but she changed. Not a ton, but she had. I was with Chloe and I'd never have chosen differently. Even_ if _Victoria and I had been one or two fights away from...fucking._ My gut rose to my throat. We'd almost fucked. I was sure of it. No matter how much I wanted to leave all of that behind me, I couldn't lie to myself. _We'd almost fucked._

_God,_ and the way she'd moaned in my ear — _fuck._ I couldn't let myself think about those things. I couldn't. It was just...residual sexual fantasy. Just fantasy. It wasn't like I still _wanted_ that. I pictured Victoria in my head for a moment. I wanted to prove to myself that those days were over, that there was no risk of that resurfacing. I wanted to prove to myself that those situations wouldn't affect me anymore and that my reaction had just been a natural response to a memory. It was _remembered_ sexual tension, not anything...present.

So I tried to think about it. To think about...whether or not Victoria and I...being intimate...would affect me. I mean, that situation wouldn't ever come up, so it wasn't really a problem, but I just...really needed to prove to myself that things weren't _like_ that anymore. That things had _changed._ That Blackwell Academy, the dynamics there, the social elite, the rivalry between Victoria and I...had really changed since that week back in 2013. I wasn't sure what to think of since I was trying to avoid any old, instinctual, memory-based feelings.

I imagined what would happen if, say, I'd gone into her room to hang out with her and she pushed me against the door and locked it. _Anxiety._ I knew I'd feel that. I'd panic. Being trapped _always_ made me freak out a little. She'd have one hand by me on the door from locking the doorknob. The other... _what if she'd actually put her hand on me?_ That wasn't something she'd really done in the past.

I tried to imagine her having one hand on the door by me and one on...my hip, I guess. Her face close to mine, fire in her eyes. Her pushing into me, her lips pressing against mine. Her knee sliding between my legs. Her tongue parting my lips, my hands...on the small of her back and in her hair, tugging. _Tugging...to get her to pull away?_

I swallowed. Hard. _No._ _I...doubt it would be to pull her away from me._ It...I'd pull at her hair just hard enough for her eyes to flutter and to get a groan out of her as she ran her hand up and down my side, fingertips pressing into my skin. I felt like I couldn't _breathe._ Her other hand would come to grasp at my other side. My nails would rake down her back with one hand, outside her shirt. I'd feel the clasp of her bra under my fingertips. Her leg would lift ever so slightly higher between mine.

That was enough for me. I felt my desire roar to life. It was like an animal, I'd come to learn over the years. I'd discovered, with Chloe, that I was in _no_ way the bottom I'd expected myself to be. I'd thought maybe my aggression towards Victoria was fueled by the desire to knock her off her high horse but no...I was like that with Chloe, too. _Fuck, Chloe..._ I couldn't let anything happen between Victoria and I. Even _if_ thinking about pulling her shirt over her head and pushing her back until she stumbled back onto her bed, splayed out in surprise...appealed to me.

Even _if_ taking her hands and pinning them over her head, leaning over her and capturing her lips, scraping my teeth against them, digging my nails into her sides, feeling her writhe beneath me— oh, _god,_ this wasn't good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, a little conflict and depth of field for Max, eh? (Sorry I can't write this and NOT make a photography pun...)


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, it's about to get spicy.

_ Max _ __   
_ 10:47 PM _ __   
_ January 24, 2015 _ _   
_ __ Arcadia Bay, Oregon

 

I dragged the heels of my hands over my face and hesitated. This...this was bad. This was so bad. I was...I was fantasizing about Victoria again. And  _ god _ it felt good. It made my heart leap into my throat like nothing else had in fucking ages.

Sure, sex with Chloe was great.  _ Amazing, _ even, at times. And I definitely wasn't lacking in an outlet for that, especially when she wasn't in an off-phase. But it wasn't like there was a real  _ power reversal _ with her. There was no subversion — and I'd be lying if I said even the idea of subversion in a  _ non- _ sexual context didn’t get me excited (not  _ aroused, _ just excited in general, but...the concept of subversion was just a really powerful aphrodisiac for me). And it wasn't like Chloe and I were much into role playing. It always felt a little bit forced between us when we'd tried (and we hadn't tried much because of that...it just wouldn't work for us). And...fuck, was I trying to  _ justify _ wanting to fucking...touch myself over Victoria Chase? I mean...there was no justifying something like that, there just flat-out wasn't.

I felt my hands as I ran them down my own sides and closed my eyes. I felt myself deflate. This was happening, wasn't it...I didn't want it to and, god, I wish there was a way to change how I felt about this, but...imagining Victoria beneath me, arching up for more contact, her eyes pleading and vulnerable when I'd pull away, the way she'd lift up to let me unhook her bra and throw it off to the side somewhere, not even caring about where the surely-expensive piece of fabric ended up...feeling her grip my sides, hearing her whisper,  _ “Please, _ Max..."

Oh,  _ god, _ I was weak for her breathlessly whispering words into my ear. Like...it wasn't like we'd ever  _ actually _ engaged in anything sexual beyond teasing and innuendo but I'd heard her groan before, I'd heard her  _ moan. _ And I'd be a total  _ liar _ if I said that didn't affect me. I shuddered as my fingers slid across the waistband of my pants and underwear. I sighed in defeat. There was no denying this. I wasn't going to get away with just ignoring it. There was no way I’d get to sleep like this. So, I essentially had two options...get changed and lay in the dark, waiting for this to go the fuck away, or…

I sighed. Touching myself meant admitting to myself that there really was some sort of attraction still there between Victoria and I. Which would probably make our tenuous friendship even more tense. Because now  _ I _ was aware of my own feelings for her...even if they were just physical. She  _ was _ hot, I'd have to be blind not to see and think that. And with our history...having both of us struggling with feelings would really put a strain on our friendship, I figured. I didn't think there was any way she and I would be able to be friends without that sort of being there and having to be acknowledged. There was no way we could just...mask that. Although, she'd done that for a long time, especially considering she hardly even talked down to me out of social necessity anymore.

I groaned deeply as I sat up on the edge of my bed and started getting changed into my pajamas, which was pretty much just a PJ shirt and my underwear. I flopped back down onto my bed and crawled under the covers, pulling them tight against me. I squinted my eyes closed. My phone vibrated just above my head on my nightstand. I ignored it. Whoever it was could wait for my existential sexual crisis to be over. I needed to get this sorted and/or get a good night's sleep.

I rolled onto my back. I shuddered. Victoria's voice, choking over words of pleasure echoed in my mind. Particularly the  _ "oh, god," _ she'd stifled that day she had me backed up against the locker. A few more of those “fights” and I think we would have snapped. If she'd stayed there any longer I knew I would have snapped. My hands had been so tight against my sides that my arms  _ ached _ when I finally walked away from the lockers. My right hand dipped below my waistband. I rubbed the bridge of my nose between my left thumb and forefinger as I let the middle finger of my right hand slide between my folds.

I choked off a small moan. I was  _ so _ wet, holy shit. And  _ sensitive. _ This was a fucking mess, good  _ god. _ Victoria...Victoria could still affect me like that. I mean, even  _ I _ had frozen when our fingers nearly interlocked over that fucking Scrabble tile.

I remembered how she'd frozen up completely. How we'd stared at each other. How it felt like we were both holding our breath.  _ How her fingers felt between mine. _ That was...probably the most intimate contact we'd ever had, really. I shivered when I remembered how her soft skin felt between my fingers. The places where her fingers had been almost ached with the echo of that feeling. She'd looked so vulnerable. So...god, so much like I could've just...slid my fingers further and locked them with hers. Like I could have leaned over and kissed her and we would have forgotten about the Scrabble game entirely.

Waves of guilt and arousal crashed through me, one after another, as my fingertips circled my clit and my mind extrapolated on the sensation of her fingers being locked with mine. I could nearly  _ feel _ her fingers between mine while I touched myself.  _ It had been that same hand, too. _ I closed my eyes against the sensation, feeling a little nauseated by myself, but that only gave way to my mind conjuring up images of if we'd been kissing...me leaning over the coffee table, her hand slipping below my waistband, still interlocked with my fingers.

I shuddered violently and my hips bucked forward at the thought of her fingers brushing against mine as we both ran our fingers deep into my wetness. I could nearly feel her pushing my hand out of the way, taking over for me, touching me while my own hand hovered near hers, brushing up against it and around the crux of my thighs, the sensitive spaces around my slit. I brought my left hand down to do just that as I slid one finger inside of me. I wasn't much for penetration but imagining Victoria wanting to feel what it was like to be inside me made me groan out loud and arch my back.

_ God, _ this was good. And god was I wet. I hadn't been this wet in ages. I was almost embarrassed by myself. I slid another finger inside, my left hand coming around to stroke my clit as I arched my back, squinting my eyes shut again only to see the image of Victoria hovering over me, eyes wide with wonder, realizing that all of this was for her...that everything I was feeling, every drop of my wetness was for  _ her _ ...that was all it took to send me crashing over the edge. I had to bite my lip to stay quiet enough, my orgasm rolling through my gut, burning from the crux of my thighs like wildfire up my spine, turning into an icy pleasure as it reverberated all the way into my skull. I gasped for air as it extended and I slowly brought myself down.

My fingers stilled against my core as I slowly evened out my breathing. I pulled my hands away, looking at the thick wetness that coated the fingers that had been inside of me. I felt myself deflate as I looked at how much there was. I’d just... _ fuck. _ I’d just fucked myself to one of the better orgasms I’d had in ages over...Victoria. Imagining it had been her...fucking me. Absentmindedly, I licked the cum off of my fingers, kind of sucking on them in thought.

I had to act like nothing had changed now. I mean, nothing had changed, really. Technically. I mean, just because I wanted her to be knuckle deep in me, worshipping— _god,_ I needed to stop. I felt warmth course through my body again followed immediately by a wave of nauseating dread. Oh, no. No, no, _no._ _Old habits need to die hard, Max,_ I told myself. I couldn’t...I couldn’t let myself relax back into old patterns. I had Chloe...Chloe was everything to me. She...I’d done so much for her, for us, for our relationship and...here I was, wanting more of these Victoria fantasies. Feeling renewed arousal coursing through my veins.

I brought my right hand back down to cup my core through my panties. I was still so warm and so wet. I settled my hips down a bit into my hand, feeling my fingers pressing against my clit. My nostrils flared as I exhaled sharply and closed my eyes. I cringed a little as I pressed my fingers more firmly against myself, my left hand coming down to grip my thigh. I stroked myself through my panties for a moment, trying to decide whether or not I could get away with just stopping there.

I looked over at the clock. It was 11:35pm. Still sort of early, I guess, but I wanted this to be over as soon as possible. I didn't want to have to think about it anymore. I didn't want to feel like there was any part of me that wanted this. I didn't want to feel that desire pooling in my gut, flaring as my fingers pressed against my clit through the cotton fabric of my panties. I closed my eyes and stretched a little, keeping my hand pressed against my core. I knew that I'd need to touch myself again if I was going to go to sleep any time soon.

So I did. I hooked my thumbs in the waistband of my panties and pulled them down, frustrated with myself, shuffling them off of my feet while leaning up to pull my shirt over my head. I pulled the covers back over me, feeling as exposed physically without them as I felt mentally while admitting to myself that Victoria was still capable of making me weak. I sighed. I needed to stay strong. This could  _ never _ happen again. I needed it to be an isolated incident, borne solely of needing to know whether or not she could still affect me should moments like the one we shared setting up Scrabble happen again.

I swallowed hard and accepted that resolve.  _ It was just an isolated incident, _ I told myself as I slid my middle finger through my folds again, coating them in the wetness that had collected there. I groaned quietly and arched into my touch, gliding the tip of my finger back up through my folds to circle my clit along with my ring finger. I shuddered, feeling almost too sensitive from my recent orgasm. I slid the two fingers inside of me, curving them forward to press against the area I figured my g-spot was in. I'd never really felt like I'd found it but at least it was generally nice, if not mind-blowing like the magazines claimed it should be.

My left hand roamed my body as I lazily stroked my fingers in and out of my core. I ran my palm over my stomach, coming up to cup my breast and pinch at my nipple. I didn't find that sort of thing fantastically arousing, since I didn't have much sensation there, but I definitely felt at least a sense of sensuality from it, which was nice. I tilted my head back with eyes closed as I brought my fingers out to circle my clit once again.

As my back arched, I pictured Victoria again. This time, it was generally pretty voluntary fantasy, admittedly. I imagined her kissing down my body, hands roaming over my chest and stomach as she trailed down and spread my legs apart. I pictured her settling down between my thighs, holding my thighs apart gently with her hands as her thumbs spread me open. I used my index and ring fingers to spread my folds a little while circling my clit to mirror the image in my mind. I stifled a moan. God, she made me feel so—  _ no, _ I told myself hastily. It wasn't that  _ Victoria _ made me feel good. I was just touching myself and she happened to be my fantasy. She just happened to be the one I was imagining between my thighs, taking her tongue and slowly licking from my perineum up to my clit, holding me open with her thumbs, circling the nub of my clit, wrapping her lips around my clit and sucking — 

My second orgasm came more evenly this time. It started quickly but flowed through me, warmth spreading from my clit down my thighs and up through my gut. I felt light-headed and couldn't help but smile a bit as I silently screamed, mouth open in pleasure. Just after the peak of my climax, I gasped out a quiet "Oh my  _ god," _ before wrapping my left hand around my midsection and slowing the strokes I made on my core down to a pace that would help me settle. My breathing came heavy and I looked up at my ceiling. I felt  _ good. _ I felt  _ so _ good. It was insane.

In a way, I couldn't stop smiling because of how good it felt. On the other hand, however, I felt ashamed for cumming twice over Victoria — especially because the second time was entirely voluntary and not just an experiment. I wiped my fingers off on the sheets as I reached above my head with my left hand to grab my cell phone from my nightstand.

Finally looking at my phone, I noticed that I had three unread messages from Chloe and one from Victoria. I sighed heavily, the dopey hormonal rush I’d just experienced dropping off almost immediately.  _ Great. Back to the real world. _ I swiped the notifications away and opened Facebook, mindlessly going through my notifications — mostly from Warren and Kate, sharing various videos on my timeline.

Eventually, however, I had to bite the bullet and open the messages. I decided to start with Chloe.

Chloe Price: Yo Max

Chloe Price: You awake????

Chloe Price: Theres no way youre asleep rn. Whatchu doing???

Ugh. I checked the time stamps on the messages. These were the ones that had been sent right as that whole...thing started. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before composing my reply.

Max Caulfield: Hey babe! Sorry I wasn’t looking at my phone, what’s up?

Almost immediately the little check mark appeared under the message, indicating it had been read. The little moving ellipses appeared, indicating Chloe was typing. While she wrote her message, I hit the back button and went to look at the message from Victoria.

Victoria Chase: Hey. Sorry about.. being weird tonight. I know you don’t, like. Need all the heavy dropped on you. Hang out tomorrow? After class.

I smiled a little sadly. I knew she felt guilty for her feelings — although, now, so did I. The least I could do was humor her and make her feel like I wasn’t going to avoid her like the plague or anything just because she had a crush on me.

Max Caulfield: Sure. Sounds great :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a day late! I am, however, keeping my promise to release weekly until chapter 22 so never you fear.  
> As always, your reviews give me LIFE and I am so glad my work has an impact at all. This is my first time actually RELEASING any lemony goodness into the world so go easy on me, all right? ♥


	22. Chapter 22

_Victoria_   
_7:16 AM_   
_January 25, 2015_   
Arcadia Bay, Oregon   


I groaned. My eyes felt as sandy as the Sahara Desert. I sort of loathed that I got up so early but I had to fit in my morning runs before classes during the week. Staying in shape was, like, one of the most important things. At least...it was if I wanted to remain one of Blackwell’s social elite. That's just how it was. It sucked to get up so early constantly and have to put in so much work, but I felt like it was worth it.

Stretching, I picked up my phone to check my notifications. I had messaged Max before going to sleep because it was just nagging on me constantly how I had told her about my feelings and how she felt like maybe we shouldn't be friends or whatever because of it being hard on me. I didn't want that to get in the way. At all.

I thought more about it while I was getting ready for my run. While I was wrestling my sports bra on, I thought about the way she'd said how she knew what it was like to be trying to be just friends with someone she liked. _Was she talking about Chloe?_ I wondered. I figured she probably was, since they were childhood friends or whatever. I rolled my eyes as I adjusted my bra. _Of course._

It felt like I couldn't get away from Chloe's shadow. Like she was pretty much everywhere when it came to people I was involved with. Or wanted to be involved with. She'd taken Rachel from me. Or...well, I figured it wasn't exactly right to be mad at _her_ for it, but Rachel was dead so she was an easy place to place my blame now. I knew Rach fucked around on me and was seeing other people behind my back after I found out about Chloe. And that technically her being with me was fucking around behind, like...three _other_ people's backs. Which was hard to wrap my head around.

I walked outside once I was dressed and felt the bite of the chilled winter air jolt me awake more. I thought about Rachel. I thought about how even after I found out she was cheating on me and cheating on like three other people I felt like what we had was special. And maybe it was, in a way. Because I doubt she was exactly the same with any two people from what I heard. I wanted to believe that what she and I had was real. Because, it was my first real...romance of any sort. She...well. It _felt_ like she and I were in love. I knew I sort of loved _her,_ at least. And that was the first time I really let anyone in. It hurt to think about, but I did have fond memories with her.

I could remember studying in her room at her home. Or doing summer reading assignments. The sun would come in from her skylight and she'd crack the window so we could feel the sea breeze. It was really nice. And in the fall, for the shorter breaks, I sometimes went to her house instead of Seattle to my parents' _empty_ house...since they were pretty much never there. I could remember laying in her bed or making out with her or.. her going down on me. I shook my head while pushing myself to run a little faster. I needed to get my mind off of Rach. The past was the past. It was whatever now, since she was dead. I didn't need to put that back on my mind when I was trying to figure out how to be friends with Max.

Max. God. She'd said yes to hanging out, which...I felt good about. I didn't want to pressure her but if she really wanted to make a friendship work between us still I wanted to repair the damage from yesterday. I needed to reestablish that normalcy we'd fallen into while working on our project. I didn't want it to just...devolve into nothing. There was really a chance here for us and I didn't want to throw that away just because I had some dumb _feelings_ that I couldn't seem to get rid of. I just wanted...our friendship, at least. If I couldn't have her to myself, then I would just...try to have and enjoy her company while I could.

I didn't take a very long run in the end. It was really cold out that day, so I figured just enough to burn the thoughts in my head away would be good enough, and I was right. I checked my FitBit and saw that my numbers were pretty good for a short run. I didn't even _realize_ how hard I'd been running, so I'd gone a long distance, which was good.

I took a shower before getting dressed for the day. I tried to take the time to pick out something good for presenting our project to the class. It would be later in the morning, before my free period, meaning I wouldn’t have time to change beforehand. I went with some black slacks, a creme blouse, and a wine red cardigan. I finished up the final touches of my makeup and made sure my hair had some decent texture to it before grabbing my things and heading out. Max said she'd take care of the poster boards and brought them to her room last night, so I didn't have to lug _those_ around all day. Thank. God.

* * *

Classes were boring, as usual. I was someone who could teach myself mostly, so if I studied and did the reading, which...I at least _tried_ to do most of the time, I was fine and didn't really need to pay attention. That was _nice_ in a way but it also sort of _sucked_ because then the class was so uninteresting I got irritated. That _probably_ didn't help with my bitchy demeanor, but if it meant I could keep those walls up, then...fine. It worked.

For instance, for this English class, we had to do a reading and a small 1-2 page paper response with our thoughts on how the text could be interpreted in today's culture and media. It was a simple assignment and a short book that we had been assigned, so the discussion in class was essentially monotonous for me. My paper I'd turned in early even, since you could turn it in at any time online. I'd turned it in two days ago. Some people in the class were _late_ on theirs. They kind of stuck out like sore thumbs because they struggled to participate or answer questions when they were called on. The teacher didn't like to give any breaks.

I was playing with my pencil, turning it over and over and clicking the lead out before pressing it back in when I felt my phone vibrate slightly in my bag that was on my lap. I had set the vibrate lower once I realized how _annoying_ a Vortex Club group chat would be, so the teacher didn't notice over the discussion she was trying to railroad through the implications of how the characters could represent different political figures in modern day times. I was grateful for the distraction.

I pulled my phone out and was surprised to see on the lock screen that it was _Max_ who had messaged me. I raised an eyebrow in surprise and looked across the room to where she was sitting. She was looking at me with an amused look on her face. I opened the notification to read her message.

Max Caulfield: These people are so fucking dense, huh?

I tried not to chuckle at that so I just stifled a smile and typed a response.

Victoria Chase: GOD. You're telling ME.

Max Caulfield: Do you think the teacher wants to just rage quit lol

Victoria Chase: Probably. Lol.

Max Caulfield: Are you ready to present next period?

I had started typing my response when I got called on to answer a question. I looked up as soon as I heard my name.

"...explain to the class why some of the figures in today's society are able to be seen in texts that are much older?" I resisted rolling my eyes. I had put a whole section about this in my response.

"Yes. It's obvious that some of the figures have parallels in the text. However. Not all of them do because of how cultural norms and expectations change. And we think they've, like, changed _dramatically_ when they really haven't. We _think_ we're making all this progress and becoming liberal and progressive as a society when, actually, a lot of our culture is still heavily reinforcing gender norms...which turns the clock back on this 'progress' over and over. So we can relate to characters that are in situations that are similar to modern situations and it surprises us but it really shouldn't." The teacher forced a smile. I could tell she wasn't expecting me to have the answer. But. She also looked a little relieved that at least _someone_ in the room had done the assignment. I went back to messaging Max.

Victoria Chase: Did u even DO the assignment?

I looked over at Max as soon as I was done typing the message and hit the send button. She looked at me. It was hard to read her expression from across the classroom so I had to just wait to see what she said back.

Max Caulfield: I mean...I read the *SparkNotes,* if *that* counts...

Victoria Chase: What about the paper?

Max Caulfield: Well I at least did *that,* I'm not *totally* incompetent here.

Victoria Chase: Then why do you look so lost while being bored. How are you doing that.

Max Caulfield: I only read the parts of the SparkNotes that I needed for the reflection paper. I didn't really read anything else, lol

Victoria Chase: Ugh. Oh my GOD Caulfield. You're totally hopeless.

Max Caulfield: Yeah? Then why do I have a good grade in this class? :P

Victoria Chase: I mean. You're a WRITER too. Not just a photographer. I'd be surprised if you DIDN'T have a good grade.

Max Caulfield: Exaaaaactly. Hahaha

Victoria Chase: So. If the teacher calls on you what are you gonna DO.

Max Caulfield: She probably won't but if she does I can probably pull something out of my ass. I've picked up pretty much everything I need to know about this book that I didn't already know from just the discussion.

Victoria Chase: You're actually paying ATTENTION to that?

Max Caulfield: I mean, yeah...I didn't read the book so I need to absorb the information in case there's an essay or test. I'm writing down the page numbers of quotes I might want to use in the essay I'm sure she's gonna assign tonight :P

Victoria Chase: Ok. That's a good point. You're a fucking cheater at this u know.

Max Caulfield: Hey if it gets the job done it gets the job done, don't h8

Victoria Chase: . . .whatever Caulfield. Just don't zone when we have to present next period.

Max Caulfield: Pshh we got this, I'm fine

Victoria Chase: I swear if you space and I have to say the name of these fucking things.

Max Caulfield: Nahh, I gotchu. You're fine haha. We'll rock it, okay?

I smiled a little at that and looked up at her. She smiled back. I glanced around to make sure nobody was looking at this exchange. Thankfully nobody _was_ watching. Or, if they were, they already looked away. Max noticed me look around and quickly returned her focus to her desk. Or her phone. I couldn't tell from where I was. Whatever. I looked back down at my lap and my phone in my hands resting on my purse. I sighed internally. I didn't _want_ to hide like this.

Victoria Chase: Sorry.

The ellipses showing that Max was typing appeared then disappeared then appeared again. It happened a couple times. She probably knew what I was apologizing for, but...maybe not. I didn't want to confuse her. Just as I was about to start typing another message, one from her finally showed up.

Max Caulfield: It's cool. I get it, you know.

Victoria Chase: Still. I shouldn't be, like. So paranoid or whatever.

Max Caulfield: I mean, it *would* be weird if somebody looked up and saw us *smiling* at each other.

I sighed. She was right.

Victoria Chase: You're right. I just. Don't want you to feel like you . . can't be my friend or whatever.

Max Caulfield: I don't feel that way.

The message had come quickly, followed by the ellipses showing she was typing another message.

Max Caulfield: You have a social position that I don't. That's just how it is. I don't take it personally or anything, it's not like either of us *asked* to be born into the classes we were born into. And it's not like you and I can just change our social positions on a whim.

Victoria Chase: I mean. YOU can.

Max Caulfield: I mean... *sort* of, I guess. I don't exactly *change* social positions so much as...I just have a social position that means I can kind of flow between a couple different circles? If that makes sense?

Victoria Chase: It does. I get it. And, I envy that. In a way.

Max Caulfield: ...why? You kinda have it all, you know

Victoria Chase: Sometimes having it all in terms of status and items doesn't mean you're HAPPY to have those things Max.

The chat ellipses appeared and disappeared a bunch of times. I typed out another message.

Victoria Chase: Sorry. We don't have to be talking about this. There's, like. No point anyway.

I chanced a glance at her. She looked like she sighed because her posture got a little worse. Like she deflated a little. Shit.

Max Caulfield: It's okay, I just...don't want you to feel bad about things you can't change.

Victoria Chase: They only don't change bc I choose not to.

Max Caulfield: That's not true and you know it.

I sort of hated how stubborn Max could be sometimes. She was, like, _the_ most stubborn person I'd ever met...which wasn't a _bad_ thing always, but it also meant she would drive a point home until she was _sure_ you got it. Even if you already got it awhile ago.

Victoria Chase: Well. TECHNICALLY I could change things. But. Just because I'm the Queen of Blackhell Academy doesn't mean I can, just.. change the social order around here. Maybe MY friend circle could change, but. That doesn't mean everyone in the Vortex Club would go along with it. There'd be, like. A riot or something. I don't know.

Max Caulfield: Pshh I'd love to see *that.* A riot at Blackwell Academy? All because the stoic Victoria Chase wants to be friends with some hipster scrub like me? Incredible.

Victoria Chase: Lol. That WOULD be pretty funny.

Max Caulfield: So do it :P

Max Caulfield: JK I'M KIDDING OKAY DONT

I stifled an inward chuckle.

Victoria Chase: You're ridiculous.

Max Caulfield: You like it.

The sassy tone didn't even have to be enunciated in the text for me to know exactly how teasing she was being. She gave as good as she got at least. And...she was right. I _did_ like it. A little. I felt my cheeks heat up. Sometimes she'd drive me _insane_ with being annoying, but...sometimes it was pretty cute, I guess. I wasn't sure how to respond to her so I just locked my phone and looked up. I wasn't sure where to look so I checked the clock. _Thank GOD._ I hadn't checked the time on my phone because I didn't _want_ to know how long class would continue to drag on for...because it felt like _forever._ But it was actually almost time to go to our next class. Which meant presenting, but...I'd take _that_ over sitting in a room trapped with, like, eighteen people who had no idea what was going on trying to talk through a teacher's railroaded curriculum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, we're probably going back to the every-other-week update guarantee, as it was before. I'd like to post more often, and continue to do so, but I'm posting more than I'm writing, which means my emergency cushion is dwindling :( 
> 
> I don't like doing chapters this heavy with texts/messages because they tend to feel like filler material but I thought it was important to show how the two interact online/in text on top of how things are going for them face-to-face...just a little more setup and fun. Let me know what you thought!


	23. Chapter 23

_ Victoria _ __   
_ 1:54 PM _ __   
_ January 25, 2015 _ _   
_ __ Arcadia Bay, Oregon

 

The presentation went smoothly. It wasn't like it was hard or anything, so I didn't feel worried that anything was going to go  _ wrong,  _ it just...was good to get it over with. And finally be  _ done _ with it. Because, as much as it was  _ nice _ to work with Max on a project...it was still a project. Which, wasn't my favorite thing to do. I preferred to, like, teach myself from studying or do regular homework assignments. Plus. As much as I  _ like _ being the center of attention, I didn't really like presenting.

That also meant we had the rest of the period to just watch whoever was presenting. Or, pretend to. Which was what Max and I did honestly. Once we sat down I flipped my notebook to an empty page and wrote in the upper right of it.

"Do you still want to come over after class?" I wrote. I nudged Max and showed her. She went to write her reply on my notebook but I pulled it away and gestured towards hers with my head. It would be less conspicuous if she wrote in hers and I wrote in mine. Since people wouldn't think we were writing to each other if we were writing in separate notebooks. She nodded, so. I guess she understood.

"If you still want me to" she wrote.

"Yeah. I do." I wrote back. I paused for a second then kept writing. "What do you want to do? I know I said we could probably get off campus if you wanted."

"You want to risk being seen in town with me?" She wrote down quickly. I looked at her for a second. She raised an eyebrow at me. I rolled my eyes.

"It's whatever. It's not like anyone from SCHOOL will be there to see us." I scrawled.

"I guess...but what if they are?" She wrote.

"Well. We'll just have to hope nobody sees us then won't we. We can go somewhere that's usually a place, like.. tourists go or something." I wrote back.

"That works I think" She wrote.

"Cool." I wrote. She smiled a little. I could see it out of the corner of my eye. I made a tiny smile without turning to look at her. Nobody was looking, but...in case anyone suddenly decided to, I didn't want them to see us smiling at each other.

"Cool." She wrote back.

* * *

When the bell rang I gathered my stuff pretty quickly. Ms. Grant gave us no homework for that period saying we deserved a break after our hard work and that it wouldn't be fair on people who had yet to present. Which made sense. So I was happy about that. Max lagged behind a little. I think she was trying to avoid people seeing us leave together. Which I appreciated. It was for the best. Unfortunately.

I hugged my books to my chest as I walked quickly back to the dorms. It was still as bitter cold out as it had been when I went running in the morning. The sun had done, like, nothing to warm the day up at all. Ugh. So I just focused on getting inside. I almost ran Alyssa over doing so because she was taking, like, a  _ year _ to open the door.

"Jesus," I muttered under my breath. Alyssa stuttered an apology to me and hurried off inside. I flinched a little internally. I was  _ trying _ to be better than I used to be, but...bitchy habits die hard, or whatever. At least I wasn't  _ trying _ to go out and, like, torment people anymore. I didn't feel like I needed to keep stepping on everyone to keep my place. Only people who tried to threaten it or who would take it if I slacked. Which meant most of the Vortex Club, honestly. It was ironic, I realized, because they were the ones who used to join me in being shit to other students.

It wasn't that I was  _ shit _ to the Vortex Club or anything. I just made sure they knew who was in control if it ever seemed like they forgot. That, and a few side remarks about other students, and they were satisfied and the status quo was maintained. It was easy. Honestly...people like them weren't very complicated.

Speaking of complicated people, I hadn't been in my room for more than, like, five minutes when Max knocked on my door. I opened it and she came in quickly. I raised an eyebrow. She seemed rushed.

"What...someone see your twee hipster ass standing outside my door or something?" I asked. I sort of sounded like I was joking but really I wasn't. I didn't want to have to deal with  _ those _ kinds of questions. Max wiped at her nose a little and looked at her sleeve. Gross. "You  _ better _ not be getting a cold, Caulfield, I swear."

"I'm not," she said, looking at her sleeve. "Nose just itched. But anyways, no. Nobody saw." She seemed pretty positive of that, so I took her word for it. I gestured towards the couch.

"Let's sit for a minute," I said. I noticed she had emptied her bag out mostly and was using her messenger bag instead of her bulky backpack. She had also changed shirts into a plain v-neck tee. Which was  _ definitely _ an upgrade from the graphic Tee she wore earlier. I totally outclassed her for the presentation, but that was fine. It's not like everyone dressed up or anything. Really only me and Taylor did, which was fine. We weren't expected to. It just seemed like the right thing to do.

Damn she had changed fast though. I was impressed. I hadn’t even  _ thought _ about changing my clothes whatsoever. But that’s ok. It wasn’t like I was  _ over _ dressed or anything.

"Where were you thinking of going?" Max asked once she was seated. "Or had you thought of somewhere yet?" I thought about the places in town...and where we weren't that likely to run into anyone we knew. Or who would recognize  _ me. _ Which was tough. It was a small town and Nathan and I were pretty well known around. Although...not everyone knew that me and Max "shouldn't" be hanging out in the social hierarchy.

"I hadn't come up with anywhere yet, but...there are a lot of places we could pick from. I don't think anyone would be, like, too judgemental. Or, like,  _ aware _ that me and you shouldn't hang out." I didn't like how saying that felt. It didn't feel like we  _ shouldn’t _ hang out. In fact...to my heart it felt like the opposite. It just...was how the social hierarchy was. It wasn't like  _ we _ decided we “shouldn't” hang out or like anything bad would happen if we did. Other than to my social status. But nothing a random store owner would think was too out of place. "Did you want to get something to eat or just get coffee or whatever?" I thought for a second. "Or we could, like, go walk somewhere sort of out of town. If you want."

Max kind of stared off into space for a few seconds before looking at me.

"I go to this place a lot but I don't think anyone there would recognize  _ you. _ Or at least judge us for hanging out there. It's the Tea House on the corner by the main road." I knew the place. She was right that I hadn't really been there much. It's not that I hadn't been there at  _ all, _ it  _ was _ new after the storm after all so I had to check it out, but it wasn't exactly a Vortex Club scene. A little too indie hipster for the rich kids. I wasn't sure who worked there though.

"Nobody from Blackwell works there right?" Max shook her head.

"No, it's all, like...college students and adults and such," she replied. "Do you  _ like _ tea?"

"I like hot teas. Which I assume is mostly what they have." She nodded her head. "I mean. I  _ like _ iced tea, but I don't drink it much. But. Hot tea, I like." She smiled a little.

"Awesome. Let's go there. Do you know where it is?" I nodded.

"Yeah, I go right by there whenever we have a bonfire on the beach," I answered. I stood up and gathered the things I'd need in my purse while we were out, getting rid of things I  _ wouldn’t _ need. Like school-related shit. Max followed suit by getting up and wandering over to my door.

"You think it's ok if we go now? You don't want to, like, wait for people to get into their classes and whatnot?" I appreciated her concern but not many people had come back to the dorms after last period.

"I don't think many people have come back to the dorms this period," I answered. "It should be fine. Besides...I parked in the closer lot again this time, so we don't even have to walk  _ by _ the academic building really." I took one last peek out my window and saw it was as quiet as I expected. "I think we can just...go."

Max nodded and I walked over to the door, taking out my key. She opened the door slowly and peered into the hall before stepping out. She walked all the way across the hall to her door. Which...I felt a little bad about her feeling like she needed to do. I raised an eyebrow at her. She shrugged. I rolled my eyes and turned around to lock my door. I sensed Max walk a little closer. I guess she decided she could walk over since I was so nonchalant about it this time. I just...didn't want things to feel to  _ weird _ between us. I'd already managed to do that yesterday, so I didn't want to make it worse.

I wondered if my behavior  _ now _ was making it weird, too. Because I wasn't usually so...loose about these things. I was pretty uptight about who I was seen with where and everybody knew it. Especially Max. I sighed as I turned the key in my door and stepped away.

"Shall we?" I asked. Max smiled a little.

"Let's." I smiled back and we started to walk down the hallway.

While we were passing the bathroom the door to the room just beyond that alcove opened and out walked Dana. She turned and saw us and froze a little. I hesitated and felt my breath catch in my chest. Fuck.

The only one who  _ didn’t _ seem to phased by it all was Max, actually, who...was the  _ least _ socially adept of all of us. She just smiled and said "Hey, Dana," and kept walking. I tried my best to follow suit and just keep walking but I  _ know _ Dana saw me pause and thought we were walking somewhere together. I chanced a glance behind me as we got to the end of the hall and saw Dana hovering by the alcove to the bathroom. She quickly turned away and walked away.  _ Fuck. _

When we were in the stairwell I turned to Max with my eyes narrowed.

"Why the  _ fuck _ was Dana there, Caulfield?" I all but hissed at her. I knew I was essentially projecting my stress onto her, but...I don't know. I don't know  _ what _ I expected her to say really. I was just...pissed. I saw her flinch when I said that to her. Hell  _ I _ flinched at myself. It was such a reflex so I just...tried to recover from it before she could say anything.

"I...didn't mean. Sorry. It's just...habit. I didn't mean to snap at you. Like, you couldn't have  _ known _ she was going to come out of her room." Max looked sheepish for some reason when I said that. "What. It's not like you're a  _ mind reader _ or anything. Like, ‘Oh hey Victoria by the way I have no way of knowing this but Dana is going to come out of her room now.’ As if." I glanced at her while pushing the door to the dorms open and stepping outside. She looked like she was thinking carefully about what to say.  _ Great. You fucking scared her. You're a fucking idiot, _ I scolded myself internally.

"I know I technically wouldn't  _ know _ something like that would happen, but..." She paused. "I mean the odds  _ are _ that someone will see," she finished. I sighed and tried to release some of the tension in my body with it.

"I know. It was...totally out of place for me to say that.  _ And _ out of line. I'm sorry." I looked at her while we picked up the pace to the parking lot. I wanted her to see that I was being earnest.

"It's ok," she said. She offered a small smile but there was something behind it. It looked like I had hurt her, and...I hated that. I wanted to make it up to her. Somehow. Although I had no idea how I'd do that. Like, at all. I looked forward and nodded and tried to recompose myself by the time we got to my car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise update! The girls have been seen...


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one night? A really long chapter? Oops, my hand slipped... ;)

_Max_   
_2:43 PM_   
_January 25, 2015_ _  
_ Arcadia Bay, Oregon

  
Victoria had snapped at me pretty badly in the stairwell after Dana saw us walking down the hall together. I felt guilty about it. I could have used my rewind and changed it...made us wait in her room a little before going out. I'd practiced enough that I could go that far back easily but...I had already used it to avoid being seen going into her room...because _Juliet_ had seen me go into her room at first and it made my head throb.

It was a little awkward between us on the walk to Victoria's car because I didn't know how to react to her comment that I couldn't have known that was going to happen. Maybe I couldn't have known in _advance_ but I could have still done something about it after. But I wasn't about to just up and tell her that I could manipulate the local fabric of spacetime and go back and make it so Dana didn't see us, that would be...well, for one, _way_ too complicated, but also...I doubted that she'd believe me. She'd probably ask if I'd been smoking some of Chloe's weed before coming to hang out with her or if I was like seeing a therapist or something.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Victoria was so predictable it was almost funny. She was transparent with her emotions, even underneath the icy exterior she sported most of the time. All you had to do was look at her eyes closely and you could see every little wheel turning in her head. She was pretty good at catching when she let too much show but I had learned enough about her to tell the difference in the variety of her knee-jerk reactions. She'd react differently, at different speeds, and in different ways, depending on the situation — and it was almost always the opposite or at least a decent counter to whatever it was she was _really_ thinking or feeling.

When we got in her car, I sighed. We'd sort of speed-walked over so I was on the verge of being out of breath. _That girl sure can walk in heels,_ I mused. She'd nearly outpaced me, seemingly with total ease, when I was just wearing my well-worn Converse compared to her ankle boots. It wasn't like they were stilettos or anything but _I_ definitely couldn't have done that. _Especially_ in the winter.

"Well. I think we made it all right," she said, turning to look at me. I shrugged.

"For the most part," I said. I was still a bit distracted. I'd gotten a bit into thoughts about my rewind somewhere along the way and it kept nagging at me. I just hoped it didn't show.

"You all right, Caulfield?" She asked. I shrugged.

"Yeah, I'm okay," I replied. She narrowed her eyes a little.

"You sure? We don't have to do this if you're having second thoughts or—" I cut her off.

"I'm not having second thoughts." I wanted to reassure her as quickly as possible. I wasn't worried about being seen with her beyond what it might mean for _her._ And I wasn't put off by her quip earlier. "I _want_ to go have tea with you," I continued. Her face relaxed a little and she sighed.

"Okay. Cool." She turned her car on and pulled out of the lot.

* * *

The drive to the tea shop was silent other than the local pop radio. Neither of us had plugged our phones into the aux cord and I didn't want to ask because Victoria seemed like she was a little on edge. I didn't want to disturb her or make her feel like I was needy or a pain in the ass or anything. I just wanted this afternoon to go smoothly. After what had happened between us last night...and _especially_ after what had happened with me afterwards...I wanted to prove to both of us that we could navigate this friendship. That this friendship could even _exist._

It had been one hell of a long week, which I'd prepared for from the start, but it had taken some _very_ unexpected turns and I just wanted to find a sort of normalcy again. I wanted to get back into a routine and get through the rest of the year. It was my final semester at Blackwell and I was just a few months shy of an accelerated Bachelor's degree in Photography. I just wanted the weeks to pass and this...sort of confusion and tension and back and forth bullshit was _really_ drawing the week out and kind of killing my flow.

Usually, I was able to just sort of...breeze through my classes, getting mediocre-ish grades (B's, mostly) and the time would pass sort of without me noticing. I liked it that way. It kept me away from any action that cropped up in the social circles and I really valued that position. But now it seemed like I was at the dead center of a possible social flare-up. I mean, I was trying to form a friendship with _Victoria Chase._ Wallflowers like me didn't just... _do_ that. It wasn't something that was common or expected and we were running the risk of upsetting the _entire_ social hierarchy...just a few months from graduation.

That was a plus, though, I realized. With things being so close to graduation, it wasn't like Victoria or I would have to face the fallout of if things went south...or super public...for very long. And then we could go our separate ways, off into our respective circles, on to whatever we had planned next. Which, for me, was...pretty much nothing. I had everything planned out up to graduation and then it was sort of just a bunch of question marks. I'd keep taking photos, of course, but I wasn't sure if I'd be able to actually _sell_ any of them. Or get them displayed anywhere. _Victoria's work will probably be all_ over _the place,_ I figured. _Her name is like a...beacon or something._

_I hadn't given our friendship much _serious_ thought until we ran into Dana in the hallway, I guess. I mean, I'd definitely tried to be considerate of Victoria's social position and need to keep this on the down low but it was mostly just...a vague concept, almost. Like it was something that I knew was a consideration but was just a principle on which to function, not a situation that I needed to _actively navigate._ It kind of hit me harder than I expected it to when we'd been seen in the hall. _

This was _real._ This entire thing was real, it was really happening, and we were _actually trying to have a covert friendship._ I, Max Caulfield, was trying to have a secret friendship with _Victoria Chase._ And I was quickly learning to act so...protective of her? I don't know if that was the right word but it was _similar,_ at least. I knew for a fact that I'd felt a bit more paranoid than normal for the past few days. It was more than my usual anxiety that cropped up when I was around her. Because it wasn't that I was afraid of her taunting me or spreading shit about me with her friends. I was afraid of what would happen if we got found out. What people would say. What they'd think. How it would impact _her._

I realized that I was a lot more concerned about how this all would reflect on Victoria than how it’d reflect on me. But I had to remember Chloe's reaction to me hanging out with Victoria. I couldn't really...just tell her that I was hanging with her, especially now that our project was over. Chloe _knew_ it was over because I'd texted her about the presentation coming up and she knew the project was only a week long. So now...I didn't even have an excuse as to why I'd be around Victoria. I rested my head in my hand while looking out the window of Victoria's car. _This is getting_ way _too complicated,_ I thought. It was like a web I was weaving...that _both_ of us were weaving. I glanced over at Victoria. _We have no way out if we get caught in it._

_Maybe we should talk about that,_ I mused. Maybe it was better to bring it up sooner rather than wait until it really _did_ become an issue. Passing Dana in the hall was a bit more than a close call...and it certainly wouldn't be the last. There was no way we were going to continue having the luck we'd had and I couldn't just...rely on my rewind to fix everything. It was entirely possible someone would see us and we wouldn't even know, which meant I wouldn't be able to go back and fix it. We wouldn't even know until we heard it in the rumor mill. I sighed. Yeah, I'd have to bring that up with her.

Victoria seemed tense, sitting up and towards the steering wheel a little more than she had when we went to Portland. Her fingers on her left hand tapped against the wheel along with the song on the radio slightly, sunlight dancing on the surface of the simple silver rings she wore. Her other hand hovered on the gear shift, silver and gold bracelets slid all the way down to her hand with the angle she had her arm at. I wondered if it was comfortable because she wasn't resting her arm on the center console or anything, it was sort of just...there. Then again, I wasn't the _most_ experienced when it came to driving a stick shift, so maybe it was just something that happened naturally when people drove these kinds of cars.

Victoria pulled into one of the parallel parking spaces with ease, the streetside parking mostly empty given the time of day and season.

"You think you can get out over there?" She asked, referring to the snow bank. It had melted off a bit with the inconsistent weather that winter but there were still residual snowbanks from the last storm. I glanced out through the window. It looked like the door could open enough for me to squeeze out without her door hitting the snow at all. I didn't want to scratch it up...it was an Audi, that shit wasn't cheap. I wasn't about to get my head ripped off for scratching up the paint job even the slightest bit. I turned back to her.

"Yeah, it looks like I can," I told her.

"Cool," she said, turning off the car and looking in her side mirror before stepping out. I carefully opened my door and squeezed between it and the car, making sure that my door didn't hit the snowbank at all. Once I'd slid out, I looked up to see Victoria standing there, clutching her purse, smiling at me like she thought my attempt to squeeze politely out of her car was funny.

"What? You think this is funny?" I asked. I wasn't _peeved_ or anything, I was kinda just giving her a hard time, but I really didn't get what was so funny about it.

"You're not going to _break_ it, Caulfield," she replied with a slight chuckle. I half-scowled at her.

"Yeah, well, I don't wanna fuck up you paint job or anything," I replied. "Fixing that would probably cost, like, half of my entire wardrobe to fix." And it was probably true. Maybe _more_ than that. She rolled her eyes at me.

"It's not like that coat of paint is perfectly polished or anything, dork. It's my main car. It's _going_ to get a little scratched up from regular use. It's not the end of the world if the door touches a snowbank, okay?" I felt myself flush a little in embarrassment.

"Whatever," I said, borrowing a page from her phrase book to brush it off. "Let's just go drink some tea."

* * *

Once Victoria and I had ordered our drinks, we went and sat in one of the booths in the corner. The inside of the tea house was cute — it was one of my favorite places to go. I knew all of the workers, of course, and usually went there with Kate, so when the barista saw me come in with Victoria he raised an eyebrow.

"What, no Kate today?" He'd asked. I'd responded with a simple "nope" and ordered.

"So," Victoria stated once we sat down. I raised an eyebrow. "Now that _that_ week's over, congrats...you survived a group project with me." I couldn't help but let out an earnest chuckle at that. I'd expected something serious, especially about Dana...since that's what I'd planned on bringing up.

"I sure did," I answered, a wry smile lingering on my face. "And _you_ survived a group project with _me._ Go figure." Victoria chuckled back with a smile of her own.

"That I did, Caulfield," she replied. "And you weren't... _too_ terrible," she added on. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, please. You _totally_ hated it," I teased. I knew that the very opposite was true, given the fact that she was out here, risking being seen out in public with me, trying to forge a friendship. She let out a single, sharp laugh.

"Oh you're _so_ right, I was just trying to be _nice_ and ease the sting," she teased back. She was smirking and had a playful glint in her eyes so I knew she was just kidding around. I held my smirk and felt some of the tension leave the air as we bantered. Now _that_ was _certainly_ welcome. I didn't want this entire day to be so...heavy.

We'd both intended, I think, for it to be an easier day after yesterday, yet it had already been nearly just as heavy...and would probably prove to be heavier once I broached the subject of what we'd do if we were to be seen out together or in each other's rooms (although I seriously doubted we'd be spending time in _my_ room...it was like the Meals On Wheels version of hers with...surprisingly _less_ to do, given that she, at least, had a TV and PS4). I sighed a little at the thought of trying to navigate the dreaded conversation. Victoria, of course, picked up on that vibe immediately.

"What's on your mind, Caulfield?" She asked. I'd started to get used to her referring to me by my last name. It probably was just what she was used to calling me, considering we'd never really spent much personal time together and it was usually used as an insult. I shrugged.

"Just thinking," I replied. I kind of wanted to wait a little before we got into the discussion. The barista brought our drinks over before Victoria had a chance to reply. He set our individual tea pots to the side and poured our first glasses for us. We thanked him and then Victoria turned right back to me, squaring her shoulders a little. _Uh-oh._ She was in Serious Mode™.

"I know you have _something_ on your mind, Max, and unless it's, like, super personal or whatever, you should probably just tell me." I rolled my eyes. She was so...authoritarian sometimes. She was probably just so used to being in a position where she _could_ demand that kind of thing of people. I _technically_ had no obligation to respond, even if she had pressured me a bit, but it _was_ something I wanted to bring up.

"Okay, okay. You win," I replied, blowing my tea off and taking a tentative sip. It was hot but not too hot, thankfully. _Praise be to the Tea House gods._ I put my glass back down and cupped my hands around it, looking at the liquid settling, before looking back up at Victoria. "I was just thinking about earlier...with Dana. What are we going to _do_ in that sort of situation, Vic?" I asked. "I mean, we can't sneak around successfully _forever._ Besides, what if someone sees us and we don't even know? You _know_ people will talk."

I watched her expression go from mild shock to deep internal thought to a sort of...darker, icy facade. She was trying to put her walls up.

"Hey, cut that out," I said, calling her out. "If _I_ had to open up about _my_ thoughts, it's only fair that you do, too." She sighed and I watched some of that darker mood give way to mild concern and...anxiety.

"I don't know," she replied. "That's the thing. Like, if I were to be caught hanging out with you, _smiling_ with you and teasing and...whatever...you're right. People _would_ talk. I don't even know what they'd think. Since, usually, you and I... _don’t_ get along at all. Like, sure. Maybe we were _cordial_ for the project, but that's all people really saw. _Maybe_ us at the library researching and then, finally, presenting. And it's not like _that_ required any sort of _friendship,"_ she continued. I felt uneasy. What _would_ people think? Would they come up with wild stories of how we became friends? Would they...I sighed.

"Do you think..." I started to ask a question quietly but cut myself off.

"What is it, Caulfield?" Victoria asked, a little irritated sounding. She took a sip of her tea. I did, too.

"It's nothing," I replied after my sip. "Just a thought."

"Well, spit it out," she pushed. I sighed internally.

"Do you think people would think we were...you know..."

_"Oh."_ She said it quickly and curtly. I saw her posture straighten up and her jaw set firmly. She tensed up, like... _immediately._ I could see the wheels turning in her head. It made me uncomfortable to watch, so I looked back down at the tea cup between my hands. I took another sip before she continued. "I don't know," she said. "I think...maybe _some_ people would think something like that. Did you mean, like...dating? Or...something else."

I flushed, feeling the color leave my face and dread pooling in my gut. There probably _were_ people at Blackwell who would think we were...having sex. I mean, our relationship before the project had been a tense opposition _at best_ to any onlooker. With all of the fights we'd had and all of the times Victoria had gotten up in my face, I wouldn't be surprised if people suspected that something like that had happened while we worked on the project and we just...snapped and...hatefucked or something. I shuddered a little at the thought. It was too reminiscent of what she and I _had_ bordered on back in 2013.

"Um," I began. "Probably...both, honestly. I mean, people would maybe think we were dating or something if they saw us getting along well enough. But...you and I haven't had the _nicest_ relationship in the past, so...people might think..." I trailed off.

"That we fucked." I was glad I hadn't taken a sip of my tea or I would have outright choked.

_"Jesus,_ Victoria, go ahead and fucking throw _that_ out there point blank, why don't you?!" I was shocked that she'd dared to say that. "People, like... _know_ me here, they _know_ that I'm taken, what the fuck?" She gave me an odd look.

"You're seriously saying that when this entire time we've been dodging people who know _me."_ She had a point.

"Oh. Right."

"Yeah. Right is right," she continued. "Besides. So many people think I'm fucking, like...every guy at Blackwell already. I _doubt_ they would think I _wasn’t_ fucking you if they saw us sneaking around." I raised an eyebrow. "I'm _not_ fucking every guy there, but...that's what people think," she finished. I pursed my lips a little.

"That's...really shitty of them, Victoria," I said, my voice softening a touch. "That's...awful. I can't believe people think that of you. You're, like, so above everyone else that you'd think people would assume you're unattainable. Like...a prize to chase after, or something — no pun intended." She rolled her eyes.

"Yeah. Well. You'd _think_ people would think that, but...my behavior at parties sort of doesn't help with the assumptions."

"Oh?" I was...a little curious, admittedly. _Did she flirt a lot? Did she get like...sloppily drunk or something? Did she..._ I shook my head a little to get the image of Victoria making out with some random Vortex Club jock out of my mind. It felt awful in my gut to picture that. _Gross._

"Yeah. When I've had a few, I...loosen up, I guess. I'm not, like... _promiscuous_ or anything, but I do...flirt. A lot. Sometimes I'll accept some of the advances of some desperate boy. But. It never _goes_ anywhere."

"Right, because you're..."

"Right. I'll...kiss a guy to keep my image among the _club_ in place but I _never_ let it go anywhere." I thought briefly about how I'd seen her with what appeared to be a short-lived boyfriend every now and then.

"So...all of those boys you've had around over the years..."

"They were all beards," she said quickly. "Nothing ever _happened_ with them. Ugh. Being around them when they were naked was...ew." She scrunched her face up in disgust.

"Can't say I blame you," I replied. "Not that I'd know or anything, since I've never actually _seen_ a boy naked, but...yeah. Ew. Definitely ew." She chuckled a little, looking at her cup of tea. Her face fell a little and she paused.

"Max?" She asked, looking up at me. "Can I tell you something?" Her eyes were...vulnerable.

"Uh...sure, Victoria, what is it?" I replied. She took a few seconds before she asked, seeming to mull over her words.

"I...don't _want_ to hide that we're friends." I blinked at that, white-guy-blinking-meme style. I couldn't tell if she meant that she longed for the situation to be different or if she really meant that she...wanted to be open about us hanging out? It had to be the former. There was no way she meant that she wanted to _actually_ be seen in public with me...or even just in the halls of Blackwell with me...right?

"Uh...what do you mean?" I asked. I didn't want to assume because holy shit that was...something. She tilted her head.

"I mean what I said, Caulfield. I don't want to hide that we're friends. Or... _becoming_ friends. I guess." I raised my eyebrows — or tried to, they were already raised. I was sure the total shock was evident on my face.

"Like...you _want_ to hang out with me and not try to hide it?" I hazarded. I felt like I was going out on such a limb with it because that would be _such_ a one-eighty from what she'd been saying this entire week we'd worked together. Even as recently as just earlier in the afternoon. She half-rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Yes, Smallfield. I want to be able to hang out with you and not hide, like...all the fucking time." I mean, she had a _point,_ but...

"But...just earlier you'd been so concerned about Dana seeing us?" She sighed. Her shoulders dropped a little and she looked...a little sad, honestly.

"Yeah. I think that's what changed my mind, actually. Believe it or not. Because...her seeing us, and the way I reacted to it, and how I realize we'd have to do that, like... _all the fucking time_ just... _really_ didn't feel good. I _didn’t_ want to act like that to you. And...I mean. If people _know_ we're hanging out then they won't whisper about shit. At least, not as much. They'll _always_ have _something_ to whisper about, but...at least people wouldn't be so _shocked_ to see it if we just were casual about it." She had a point.

"Yeah, I can see that," I replied. "It would be like...on _our_ terms instead, pretty much."

"Exactly."

"And that way...we wouldn't have to feel so weird about it, either," I mentioned cautiously. I didn't want her to feel like I felt weird about hanging out with her. "Not that I think hanging out with you is _weird_ or anything, it's just... _other_ people would think it's weird and it makes me feel...self-conscious, I don't know." I shrugged. Victoria nodded.

"And I don't want that. That's...not what I want this to be. And it _definitely_ won't help us get comfortable around each other if we're, like...constantly paranoid about the outside world. So. I mean, it might be _weird_ for a while, while bitches get _used_ to it, but...I think maybe that's how we should proceed." It sounded like she was hashing out a _business arrangement,_ almost. Which, I realized, was probably something she was more used to than navigating weird social situations like this one. Huh.

"Okay," I said.

"Okay?"

"Yeah. I mean, you're right, it'll take everyone some...adjusting, but I think in the end it's probably easiest that way. It...doesn't feel good sneaking around like this." Victoria chuckled when I said that.

"Of course it doesn’t. You probably _never_ do anything _wrong."_ I rolled my eyes.

"I've done things I'm not supposed to do before!" I asserted. She crossed her arms on the edge of the table and leaned forward.

"Oh yeah?" She asked, eyebrow quirked up. "Like _what?"_

"Um, well..." I fidgeted under her intense stare and glanced down at my tea, which I took a sip of to buy myself some time. "Well, back in Seattle, I—” Victoria cut me off before I could even say what pseudo-devious deeds I'd gotten up to with Kristen and Fernando.

"Wait. You lived in _Seattle?"_ I nodded.

"Yeah, I lived there for, like, five years before moving back to Arcadia Bay." She leaned back, her eyebrows raised slightly in surprise.

"Well you're just full of surprises, aren't you," she mused. "I grew up in Seattle." _Of course you did,_ I thought. _That makes so much sense._

"No shit," I replied, half to myself. "Did you go to school there before coming to Blackwell?" She nodded.

"Yeah. I went to the Northwest School, actually." It was _my_ turn to be surprised at that.

"No way," I said. "I almost _went_ there while I lived there. I toured the school and shadowed for a day, even! I ended up going to Charles Wright Academy but that was in my top few choices. We couldn't quite afford it, of course, but I probably could've gotten a scholarship or something." She made a short hum of acknowledgement before leaning forward again.

"So what trouble did you get up to while attending Charles Wright?" She pressed. I rolled my eyes.

"Not gonna give that up, huh?" She shook her head and rolled her eyes. "All right, well...I didn't do anything _too_ crazy or anything, but I wasn't exactly an angel either." I chuckled. "I know lots of people at Blackwell sort of have this impression of me as a shy wallflower, or at least they did before...the storm...but that's not _all_ there is to me." Victoria nodded at that, sort of like she could tell. Which I was kinda glad for, honestly, because it meant that the change I felt internally was being reflected, at least somewhat, externally, as well. "Like I said, I didn't get up to anything _too_ crazy, but I did sneak into and out of some abandoned places with friends to smoke weed and shit like that. Sometimes they'd drink while we were out there but I kinda couldn't. I tried a few times but most things just made me sick. And no, before you say it," I held my hand up. "It wasn't because I drank too much and couldn't hold my shit. I'd barely have some of whatever they had, like half a drink or only one drink's worth depending on what it was, and my body just...didn't like it."

"Yeah. I get that. There are a couple people in the Vortex Club like that. Sensitive stomachs or whatever," Victoria chimed in. I nodded.

"But yeah. I'd do that pretty regularly." Victoria hummed in acknowledgement.

"I don't know that I was expecting much more but...that sounds about right, honestly. I mean. I know Chloe likes to hang out over at that old rust heap near the edge of town, or at least she used to." I nodded.

"Yeah. She still does, we go there a lot, actually," I replied. "It's one of our favorite hang-out places. We have, like, a little fortress built there, sort of. I mean, we didn't, like... _build_ anything, it's more like she found this cool space and brought some stuff she didn't mind being left outside to spruce it up, but...you get the gist." I smiled. Victoria sort of smiled but had a bit of a far-away look on her face. I sighed, knowing we should probably get back to the subject at hand. "So...anyway, um. How are we going to do this?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eat your hearts out, you guys, and let me know your thoughts. ♥


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am half asleep right now so I'm sorry if I missed any proofreading errors in my last gloss-over of this >.<

_Victoria_   
_3:28 PM_   
_January 25, 2015_ _  
_ Arcadia Bay, Oregon

 

I sighed and looked out the window to the left. How _were_ we going to do this? How was I just going to...let myself be seen on campus with Max Caulfield. Just...hanging out. Maybe _laughing,_ even. Ugh. I hated what a hole I'd dug myself into with that. So I said so.

"I hate what a hole I've dug myself into honestly. Like...I've spent so long putting distance between us in so many different ways. There's, like...no external reason for us to suddenly get along."

"So maybe we don't hang out much at first," Max suggested. "At least publically." I nodded.

"That could work. Or. At least it might _help._ And if we were seen hanging out for some reason when we hadn't _meant_ to, it wouldn't be, like, the end of the fucking world or anything." I paused when I realized how that sounded. "I mean. Not like being seen with you would be the end of the _world_ or anything..."

I didn't want her to feel so unwelcome that she thought I would treat it like the end of the world if being seen with her threatened any aspect of my social life. That...wasn't really true. Like, yes, I didn't want to have my social life shaken up. Especially when it came to Max. But. We were _actually_ doing this, so...I had to treat it differently than other things. I had to find a way to make it _work._

"I get what you mean," she said. I nodded.

"Ok. Cool. So...we only hang out _visibly_ every now and then." She nodded. "What do we say if we asked why we're hanging out?"

Max rested her chin in her hand and looked sort of into space between me and the window, thinking. I waited patiently while trying to come up with some ideas of my own. _“Max and I talked while we worked together and found out we actually get along.”_ I mean. That was _true,_ but...I didn't know that anybody would buy it, really. At least, not without some other background. Because we never got along _before. “Max and I talked about something while we were working together and found out that we actually agreed on it and decided to try talking about it sometimes.”_ Maybe. Something like that _could_ work. Maybe about photography, since...we _were_ both going to school for it.

"We could say that we talked about photography and decided to like...talk about it more often or something," Max said nearly mirroring my thoughts. I chuckled a little. "What?"

"I was thinking something along the same lines," I told her. She smiled.

"Oh." She laughed a little. "Great minds think alike, they say."

"They do. So. Photography is the angle we'll use. What if they see us, like...hanging out in my room or something. Or hear us watching something."

"Well a friendship could just naturally develop from there, you know," she said. "It's...pretty much what _actually_ happened, so..." I nodded.

"That's true. It could have to do with the photography, too, maybe. Somehow." I added.

"Film appreciation maybe?" She asked.

"That depends," I said. "What kind of movies do you like?"

"Well you already know what kinds of _shows_ I like...but I also really like documentaries and film noir," she told me. I was pleasantly surprised by that.

"Really, now. The gamer girl likes noir." She smirked a little at me.

"I can play video games and have a taste for the finer things in life," she teased. I tried to ignore what I _wanted_ to be an innuendo in that sentence.

"I suppose that's true," I said.

"Besides," she continued. "I _know_ you don't have that PS4 _just_ to watch Netflix and Anime." I felt my cheeks go red almost instantly.

"Hey. Shut up." I told her. She just smirked and chuckled. I glared at her. "Whatever."

_“Anyway,”_ she said. "We can just say we found out we both like the same kinds of movies and appreciated that at least _someone_ in this stupid school wants to actually _talk_ about it instead of just going on and doing all the pithy high school shit...provided you like documentaries and noir." I relaxed a little into a smile.

"I do happen to like those," I said.

"Well there you go, then," Max replied. She leaned back, took a sip of her tea, and relaxed. I sighed a little now that that had been resolved.

"It's still going to be a bit of a shock to the school," I told her while pouring another cup of tea. She shrugged.

"I know," she said. "But I don't mind so much as long as you think we can swing it." I shrugged back.

"I guess. I don't _know_ for sure what people will say or think or do. But...I don't think Courtney will use it as like, leverage to overthrow my throne or anything." I rolled my eyes. "She couldn't find her way out of a cardboard box if it had one side wide open." Max full out laughed at that.

"Oh my god I don't think I've ever heard that before but it's _genius,”_ she said, trying to catch her breath. I laughed a little with her.

"Well get used to it, Caulfield. You're going to have to bear the brunt of my wit for quite some time if you want to be my friend." She sighed at the end of her laughter and smiled.

"I don't think I'll mind that too much," she said. "In fact I think it's _you_ who has to bear with _my_ humor." She was obviously referring to her humor style of puns and "dad jokes." I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, please. I've heard worse I _promise._ Trust me. You do _not_ want to hear how guys at Vortex Club parties try to make jokes." She cringed obviously trying to imagine what I was referring to. Which, I didn't blame her for cringing about. Like...the jokes were _bad._ And they were trying to be _flirty._ And they just...ugh. They _weren’t._ Like, at _all._ I cringed a little along with her. "Yeah. Like I said. You _don’t_ want to know." She chuckled.

"Yeah...I'm good, thanks," she said. I sipped from my tea and watched what little traffic there was outside.

"So...we're really doing this," she said after a little while. I turned to look at her. I shrugged.

"Yeah. I guess we are." I repressed a small smile. It...really made me glad that she wanted to try this. That she was risking getting involved in...whatever the fallout of this would be. Which, I still wasn't sure about. Was this all just wishful thinking? I _really_ hoped not. I couldn't _totally_ conceive the notion of us like...sitting at lunch or something where everyone could see and it just being... _normal._ I wondered if it would _ever_ be normal. I sighed. Maybe not. But...that wasn't going to stop me from trying. I squared my shoulders off with that level of determination. "I _want_ to do this, Max," I said. "I want this to work. And...if that means it's a little weird, then..ok." Max nodded and smiled a little.

"I'll admit I'm nervous about it," she said.

"Me, too. I have _no_ idea what people will say or do. Since, like, I don't know at all what happens in situations like this." I really didn't. Which...I hated. I didn't _like_ being out of my comfort zone. Things in my life were usually...routine. _Really_ predictable and set in motion, like... _generations_ ago. It was the same blueprint for every Chase child. And that was the way things were. _A lot_ of the trust fund babies that went through Blackwell Academy were like that. So...the school didn't see much change over the years. This... _could_ upset that balance completely. Which...was scary.

"Hey," Max said. She tried to catch my eyes. I looked at her a little. "It's gonna be ok. Ok?" She was trying to reassure me. I sighed.

"I hope so, Max. I really fucking hope so."

"Well...if it's not. I'll be here for you," she said. I felt myself get warm inside. My insides felt like they were squirming. _This...must be what butterflies feels like,_ I realized. I hadn't _really_ ever felt that before. Not even with Rachel. Like...I had _liked_ her and all. And maybe loved her a little. I think. But I wasn't sure. She hadn't made me feel _half_ of the things Max could make me feel _easily._ It was, like. Stereotypical young romance shit. So. Butterflies. My cheeks felt hot and I looked down at my cup before taking a sip.

"Thanks," I muttered. I didn't quite know how else to respond really. I felt stupid for getting so worked up over just that, but...really...it meant a lot to me. "That...means a lot Max,” I told her. “So. Really...thank you." She nodded in my peripheral vision. My gaze was still stuck to my tea cup.

"I mean it," she said. I glanced up. She had leaned forward and put one of her hands on my wrist to get my attention. Well. It definitely got my attention. I looked down at her hand before I could stop myself. My skin felt like it was on fire where her hand touched me. I felt my cheeks flush redder. I looked up at her. "If I'm going to be your friend then you're going to get treated like all my friends," she said. "That means I'm not gonna just...abandon you if things get hard or janky." I looked away into the tea house and tried to find something to focus my gaze on. "You mean alot to me, Vic," she told me. My eyes snapped back to hers. I felt my breathing accelerate just a little. "I didn't save you from that room just because I felt like I _had_ to or felt _guilty_ or anything, you know." My breathing hitched. "I saved you from that room...from _him..._ because I _care_ about you. It made me so _angry_ that you had become a target. I felt like it was my fault, sort of, but...I also just hated that _you_ had ended up there. Fate has a cruel way of fucking with people and I _really_ didn't think you deserved that. At all. Even _if_ you can be a bit of a bitch sometimes." I looked back down at where her hand was on my wrist. I felt like if I moved she'd pull away and...selfishly I didn't want that to happen.

We hadn't talked about that night really before. She'd checked on me after a couple of months had passed since the storm, but. We hadn't really _discussed_ it at all. She just...made sure I was getting whatever help I needed. And reassured me that she was getting the help _she_ needed. Since, I worried about that. Of course. I mean. She had it _way_ worse than I did. I never knew why, but...I figured it was just because my family had power and money and was connected to...Nathan. Who...had been involved. I shuddered. Max saw that, of course, though.

"Hey...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..."

"No," I interrupted. "It's ok. We should...probably talk about that sometime," I told her. It was true. We probably _should_ have discussed it sooner, but she and I were the only ones who knew what each other had been through in there...for the most part. I mean, it wasn't like we knew _exactly_ for sure because Max had been all bloody and kept passing out and _he_ kept drugging me. But. I knew she was looking out for me. She was, like, _always_ checking on me. Turning around to look at me and...looking relieved I was still there.

Maybe she was being sincere about all of that and she wasn't just...placating me or reassuring me. Like. Ok. Maybe at this point I should have expected her to just...be sincere about shit, but...I wasn’t _used_ to it from anyone still. In the Vortex Club...pretty much _everyone_ had an ulterior motive _somewhere._ It wasn’t always something _bad,_ but. Nobody was ever, like, _totally_ honest about their intentions. Other than maybe Taylor sometimes or Nathan when he was having a psychotic break, but that didn’t count because they were, like, the two people I’d _really_ consider friends so that had nothing to do with the club.

I realized suddenly that being friends with Max meant having an actual friend who, like, _wasn’t_ part of the club. I mean. I _knew_ that, but. I hadn’t really realized that I had literally no friends or “friends” who weren’t part of the Blackwell social elite or whatever. That...was weird. But, not bad. I liked it. Because...it felt more _normal._ Which might have sounded ironic coming from the girl who was the Queen of all the people society would consider the “normal kids” who confined to the social norms, but. Being in that bubble felt weird sometimes.

In a way it didn’t even feel like where I _belonged._ I mean. I didn’t exactly _know_ anything else so I wouldn’t know how to _be_ anyone else, but. Sometimes I felt like that entire world was a bit...alien. It was so...cold. And cutthroat. Which was something I could be. And was. Easily. But, I still felt like it didn’t hold my interest like it seemed to hold so many others’. Like...a lot of the people in the Vortex Club _liked_ being part of the club and partying and getting rich and popular and whatever. It was their, like, fixation. And they didn’t have much other direction in life. I wasn’t even sure what half of them were getting their degrees in. Or if they’d even _use_ those degrees.

For me I actually _cared_ about what I was studying. I _liked_ photography. I _liked_ the technical aspects of it and the satisfaction of lining up an amazing shot to capture just the right moment. And...I knew Max felt the same way. Even if it was with some stupid hipster Polaroid camera. Which...helped us get along and would help our story we’d say if...no. _When_ people would ask about us hanging out or talking.

But to my family everything always seemed, like, _business_ related. My parents were curators, not artists. Even _if_ they could technically make the quality of art they expected in submissions to their galleries, it wasn’t what drove them. And...I didn’t totally understand it.

“Vic?” Max broke me out of my reverie. I realized she had leaned back and taken her hand off my wrist. Something like hurt shot through my gut when I realized how much I’d liked having her that close.

“Hm?”

“What are you thinking about? You, like...totally spaced out for a second. Which is weird for you.” I smiled bitterly when thinking about my recent thoughts.

“My family, unfortunately.” I replied. She made a noise like she understood. I hadn’t said _much_ about it to her, but probably enough for her to get why I sounded so...unenthused when I mentioned them. “I just...don’t get how they can make art something so cold and detached,” I told her. It was something she could probably agree with, I figured. She looked a little saddened at that.

“I didn’t know they were like that about it,” she said. “I mean. I knew they were kind of...cold, I guess. But...I didn’t know that they were so detached from actual _art._ I mean. Your family’s name is a _big_ name in the art world.” I sighed.

“Unfortunately they care more about business and money and _curating_ art than actually _making_ any,” I told her. I fidgeted with my tea cup and looked out the window. “They know how to _make_ good art...and any Chase child is expected to be able to. But, once they’ve established that they can do good art, they just...I don’t know. For some reason it’s all about the money when it comes to them.”

I looked back at Max and she looked pensive. Like she was deciding how to say something. I waited patiently and sipped some of my tea. I poured the rest of the tea into my cup from the little pot and watched the faint amount of steam rise from it. Max opened her mouth and then closed it before actually starting to say anything.

“I’m...sorry. I didn’t mean for this to get so dark,” she said. “It’s...kind of heavy for just hanging out and drinking tea.” I shrugged.

“Maybe. But it’s not like we came here to drink tea and, like, play games or anything.”

“You’re right,” she said. “But...I don’t know. I guess I just don’t want to drag you down any.” That warmed me a bit inside. It was...touching, in a way. That she would worry about that. I mean. I didn’t _want_ her to worry about me, but...part of me was happy that she did. Not because of, like, stressing her out or anything. That was the _last_ thing I wanted to do. But. It showed how much she _cared._ And _that_ felt nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yum yum, character (and character *dynamic*) development. (Fruit salad, yummy yummy...)


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if there's any errors in this chapter, this is another early morning/late-late-LATE night post and I'm half asleep again...lol. If there are errors, I'll snag them on a read-through later...

_ Max _ __   
_ 4:16 PM _ __   
_ January 25, 2015 _ _   
_ __ Arcadia Bay, Oregon

 

Conversation with Victoria eventually lightened up. I'd eventually steered us away from talk about our social lives, our families, etcetera, and was able to bring our attention to something...a bit lighter. We'd talked about movies and shows we'd seen (although our lists of things we'd watched were still pretty different), which gave us some ideas in terms of what we could watch when we hung out.

We also decided that, for starters, we'd just hang out in her room and watch things or play games.  _ Board games, _ specifically. I'd  _ tried _ to coax her into revealing what games she had on her PS4 and which ones she'd played but she was pretty stalwart about not revealing her secret hobbies. She kind of gave off the air that she hadn't played anything in a while, which I actually believed...she seemed pretty detached from it and not just in a defensive way.

We had settled on watching some old Hitchcock films at first. We'd both seen some but there were classics we both didn't mind watching again. Besides — it  _ had _ been a while since I'd really seen any Hitchcock. He was a favorite of mine, especially given how influential he was in filmmaking and noir as an entire genre, but I hadn't watched his films in  _ years. _ The last time I really watched any had been my freshman year of high school in Seattle. Fernando had been pretty into his films and wanted to go into cinema because of it so we'd binge watched quite a few of his more famous works.

Victoria seemed pleased that we'd settled on something like that to start with. I think it was because even if we weren't going to be super paranoid and careful about people seeing me go into her room it  _ was _ less likely for anyone to notice. We lived across the hall from each other and only lived on a hall with somewhere around ten other girls, so the odds of people just not being around were pretty good. It still felt a little bit like we were trying to sneak around but I knew it was just her anxiety about how people would react. Which I understood because I felt the same way.

I didn't think too much about what people might say or do. At least, as far as I could help it. I tried to use our topic change as a mental topic change for myself, too, but — of course — the wheels in my head never quite stopped turning.

I was worried about Victoria's image, sure, and what the Vortex Club might do, but I was  _ more _ worried about Chloe. Chloe and Victoria...had a bad history. I wasn't clear on all of the details because Chloe didn't like talking much about it (which I understood because that meant talking about Rachel, which meant remembering Rachel, which meant remembering how we found out she was dead)...and Victoria didn't like talking about it at  _ all. _ At least...I didn't  _ think _ she did because she'd seemed to really avoid talking about her and any period of time that Rachel had been around Blackwell for. I wasn't sure  _ exactly _ what went down but I knew it had to do with both of their relationships with Rachel. I sort of just assumed that it had something to do with how Rachel slept around.

I sighed internally. A quiet had passed over Victoria and I, which had allowed for some introspection, but I didn't really want to dwell on anything right now...much less how Rachel had affected my relationship with Chloe. And, in turn, my friendship potential with Victoria, I supposed. I knew that, with our friendship not being a total secret, she and Chloe would cross paths at some point. And any time I'd seen them cross paths before...things were pretty volatile. Chloe and Victoria  _ always _ had some sneering insult to pass along to one another, even if they were just walking by each other on campus. I'd tried to tell Chloe not to do that because it embarrassed me a bit but she still couldn't help herself. There was...some  _ serious _ bad blood there and I was pretty much putting myself right in the middle of that. Oh boy.

* * *

Once we'd arrived back on campus, classes were starting to let out. Victoria pulled into a parking spot in the lot near our dorm and turned to look at me as she turned the car off. I looked at her.

"So. Are you ready?" She asked, referring to the fact that we were about to get out of her car, together, in front of some of the student body. It wasn't  _ crazy _ busy in the quad or anything but it was enough that  _ someone _ would notice almost certainly. I looked out the windshield at the people milling about and took a deep breath.

"I guess I have to be," I told her. "It's not like I'm gonna just...hang in your car until everyone goes to dinner or anything." I looked back at her. "Are  _ you _ ready?"

Victoria looked off into space a little. It  _ still _ felt like it was still hitting me — how real this all was about to be. It  _ still _ felt sort of like a vague concept, not something I was staring down, and I tried to force myself to see it as imminent as it really was, and I think Victoria was doing the same. She sighed and met my eyes again.

"I have to be," she echoed. "I know that this was my decision really, and...I acknowledge and own that. And I'm...not going back on that. I still worry about what people will say or think but...I'm just going to have to deal." I shrugged, sort of.

"Yep. Me, too," I replied. "We know what we're going to say if people ask how this happened and everything else we just...kinda have to deal with as it comes. Because we don't *know* what kinds of questions people will ask."

"But if anyone asks," she said suddenly, "my feelings for you... _ that _ stays secret." I was a little surprised she'd said that.

"Of course," I replied instantly. "I wouldn't  _ dream _ of mentioning that to anyone." I hesitated before continuing. "Chloe... _ suspects _ you might have a crush on me. I haven't confirmed or denied it or even  _ talked _ to her about it since it...officially came up between you and I. But I won't confirm or deny it if she continues to ask, okay? If that works?" I was anxious about how that'd come off. I didn't want her to think we had talked a lot about her feelings for me — we hadn't, really. Sure, it had come up a few times, but it really only came up often at the beginning of it all, back in 2013 when Chloe and I had first gotten together. Victoria looked out the windshield.

"Okay," she replied. "Just...as long as you don't go spilling it, we should be fine." I nodded, though I wasn't sure if she saw it. I put my hand on the door handle and pulled it so the door clicked open but I didn't push it open just yet.

"Ready?" I asked.

"Let's go," Victoria replied.

We stepped out of her car in unison, both of us scanning the parking lot and quad beyond the lot that stood between us and the dorm. I was trying to see if anyone had noticed yet. I was sure Victoria was doing the same. I glanced at her. She met my eyes and nodded once. I nodded back. It felt sort of like a weird...movie mission, almost, with the silent way we'd communicated. It amused me a little and I guess I smiled because she called me out on it.

"What's so funny, Caulfield?" She asked. I shrugged.

"I was just thinking that, like...the way we looked at each other and nodded felt like a weird movie mission."

"Your mission, should you choose to accept it..." Victoria imitated. I laughed. She chuckled. We’d started making our way to the dorm, walking side by side. We weren’t as far away from each other as we’d been that first day when we’d gone back to the dorms after getting the basic info we needed at the Library when Ms. Grant had assigned us the project that started this...kinda bizarre situation.

When we looked forward again from our laughter, though, we met the inquisitive eyes of a few Vortex Club members across the quad. Well, maybe  _ inquisitive _ wasn't quite the right word. They looked less investigative and more...just plain out shocked. Drew elbowed Trevor without taking his eyes off of us and muttered something. We were too far away for me to really read his lips but I could imagine he was saying something just along the lines of "do you see that?" or something.

We tried not to stop walking but we both had hesitated at the eye contact — Victoria more so than I. She nearly stopped but caught herself and caught back up to me. She'd only fallen, like, half a pace behind, but I couldn't blame her for hurrying back up a bit. It was uncomfortable being stared at and that's pretty much what Drew and Trevor were doing. It would've been one thing if they'd turned to each other to talk about it but they'd just  _ stared. _

A couple of other people in the quad (Evan and Alyssa, I think) noticed, as well, but they were alone so they just looked back to whatever they were doing once I'd made eye contact with them. Victoria and I had hurried our pace a little and stopped talking. We weren't, like,  _ speed walking _ or anything but we were both a bit tense. We had talked about accepting that this would probably be the outcome of us being seen together but, as much as I'd prepared myself mentally for this sort of situation, I still was shaken up by it. It just...wasn't how things went around Blackwell Academy. It felt foreign and uncomfortable, even for someone like me who was...kinda used to being stared at or talked about, honestly. Especially by or because of Victoria.

We'd gone up the stairs fairly quickly, too, actually leaving me nearly winded by the time we'd gone through the doors that opened to our hall. We walked in silence but were still side by side. We naturally went to Victoria's room — we'd sort of implied we would continue hanging out after we got back and even if I was feeling really self-conscious and anxious I wasn't about to just ditch...besides, who  _ ditches _ Victoria Chase?

Victoria fished her room key out of her purse and unlocked the door. I could feel someone's eyes on me and I glanced to see who it was (which I kinda regret doing). It was Juliet. Of  _ course _ it was Juliet. She was, like... _ the _ journalist at Blackwell and was  _ always _ looking for a juicy story to either report...or "report." Most of her "reports" were hearsay and gossip and were hyperbole about an event that really, when it boiled down to it, without her flagrant language and embellishment, wasn't all that interesting. But this...oh, boy. She was going to have a  _ field day _ with this one. I had a feeling that, within a couple hours,  _ everyone _ would know that Victoria and I had gone into Victoria's room. Quietly. Seemingly in a rush. Oh, boy.

I snapped my eyes back to watch Victoria flipping to the right key and unlocking her door. I prayed for time to move faster (without my interference, of course). It seemed like it took  _ forever _ for her to just...unlock a door. I was panicking, so of course it was exaggerated, but that's what it  _ felt _ like. In reality, I know she didn't fumble or take any longer than normal to open her door — in fact she was moving about as rushed as I felt. Once she opened the door, we both went inside quickly and she shut the door behind me. Quickly. Which...also meant loudly.

I sighed loudly once she clicked the lock on the door and slid down the wall outside her closet to an awkward sitting position on the floor. I didn't even  _ care _ that it was a bit uncomfortable. That's just...how it was going to be. I just...needed to sit for a minute. I could figure out where my legs belonged later.

Victoria leaned back against her door and slid down into a similar position — although a bit more gracefully and modestly. She was wearing a skirt with wool tights so she sort of  _ had _ to be more careful than I did but I had a feeling she would have sat the exact same way whether she was wearing a skirt or jeans or anything else.

"Well," she started. "That kind of  _ sucked." _ I took a deep breath.

"Boy, it sure did," I replied. "Um, Juliet saw us go into your room," I told her. Best to prepare her for the inevitable if at all possible.

"I know," she said curtly. "I saw her out of the corner of my eye when I went in. She was just...standing there. People are already hella fucking shocked by this, Max," she told me. I nodded.

"Yeah. It's...an adventure, definitely," I said. I wasn't even sure  _ what _ to say, really. I didn’t know how to describe the experience. Like, it was totally uncharted territory for...well, both of us, probably. Almost definitely.

“You can say that again, Caulfield,” Victoria responded. I chuckled darkly. She sighed and leaned her head back against the door, looking up towards the ceiling. “I just hope I’m making the right choice, you know?” She asked. I nodded.

“Yeah. It’s...risky,” I began. “I, at least, think it’s the right choice. I mean, with Nathan gone from the Vortex Club, things have started taking a little bit of a turn in the right direction, right?” She shrugged.

“I’m just trying to do better. Between Nathan and...what I did to Kate...I don’t want to perpetuate that culture anymore. I’m not exactly sure how to do that, yet, but…” She trailed off.

“Hey, I get it,” I told her. “And you  _ are _ doing better. You’re doing a lot better, actually. I know the culture of the social elite still exists and acts above other students, that’s kinda always gonna be there, but there has been noticeable change. Seriously.” Victoria looked at me, leaning forward over her crossed legs a little and resting her elbows on her knees.

“I’m glad you think so,” she said. “Sometimes I wonder if things will ever really change around here. It...doesn’t feel like it, sometimes.”

“I think it can,” I assured her. “It already has.”

“Maybe you think so, Max, but...not everybody sits on the sidelines and observes things to creepy levels of detail.” She paused. “No offence or anything. That’s...mostly a joke.” I smiled a little.

“No, I get you. You’re right — I don’t think everybody pays all that much attention to things outside of their day to day life and drama here. So people might not see how really different things are from how they were before...the storm and everything.” She nodded, looking at some stray strands in the suede of her boots.

“I just worry that people don’t think I’m changing,” she said quietly. I felt my heart ache a tiny bit at that. She was trying so hard to make things right but it seemed like nobody around her was noticing...except for me. I wondered, briefly, if Taylor or Courtney noticed. ...well, probably not Courtney, considering Courtney was like her lapdog, looking for attention and power. But Taylor was...smarter than most of the rest of the Vortex Club, really, and a whole lot kinder except for maybe Hayden.

“Well, I think you are, if that helps at all,” I told her. I went to say more but we were both startled by a knock at her door. She locked eyes with me instantly, mild panic in her features. I was pretty sure my face mirrored hers. I quickly stood up and went to sit on the couch. It would be weird if she opened the door for whoever it was and I was just...sitting on the floor there.

Victoria got up, smoothed her skirt out, leaned back to catch a glimpse of herself in her mirror, and opened the door.

“What?” She asked snippily. It was almost like a demand with how she said it. I heard Taylor’s voice answer. Which...was funny, since I had just thought of her, but also a huge relief. If anyone came to Victoria’s door just to ask what was going on, I probably would have been mortified and panicked — Victoria, too. But Taylor, even if she was here to ask about me, was a bit kinder and had actually talked to me a little bit over the years. I wouldn’t call us anywhere close to friends but she and I had had a few good discussions before.

“Can I come in?” She asked Victoria.

“Can it wait?” Victoria responded. I couldn’t quite see them from where I was sitting, just, like, half of the back of Victoria but I could practically hear how tight Victoria’s jaw was...as though she were speaking through bared teeth.

“...it’s sort of time-sensitive, Vic,” Taylor replied. “I...wanted to talk to you before anything worse came up.” I flinched and saw Victoria tense up.  _ “Anything worse…” _ I thought to myself.  _ What are people saying? How many people know already? Is it about me? It has to be about me. _ I heard Victoria sigh in exasperation.

“Fine. Just...well, you probably already know but...Max is here,” Victoria told her, terse in tone.

“That’s fine,” Taylor replied with that sort of bubbly tone she seemed to have no matter the situation. How the girl did it, I didn’t know.

I watched Victoria step aside and let Taylor in, closing the door quickly behind her (though not as quickly as she had when we’d first gotten in). Taylor walked by and waved at me on her way over to Victoria’s desk. She took a seat in Victoria’s office chair (which...looked really comfortable, honestly...ergonomic...it’d be good for gaming, probably). Victoria hesitated a little before coming across the room, around the coffee table, and sitting next to me with her knees tight together and her hands gripping them.

I crossed my right ankle over my left knee and leaned back a little, trying to make my body language a bit more open than I was feeling. It felt really awkward and vulnerable but it was better than tightening up like Vic was.

“Hey, Max,” Taylor greeted me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that just happened. See you next week!~


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for not posting last week like I said I would. For that, you get two chapters this week!  
> Also check out the two-shot I posted the first half of ♥

_ Victoria _ __   
_ 4:26 PM _ __   
_ January 25, 2015 _ _   
_ __ Arcadia Bay, Oregon

 

“Hey,” Max said back to Taylor quietly. I tried to act...well, not  _ casual _ because there was no way I could do  _ that. _ But...I tried to at least act like I wasn't freaking out as much as I was. Maybe this had been my idea and I'd gone ahead with it because I just wanted to stop having to hide so much of myself from other people, but I couldn't have  _ really _ prepared myself for how it actually felt for this to be happening. I mean, we'd hardly been inside my room for, like, ten minutes when Taylor came over. So...either she was one of the first to hear or Juliet and those stupid jocks had already spread it like wildfire. Honestly, I wished it was the first but it was probably the latter. That's just...how things worked at Blackwell. I looked at my hands on my knees and examined my fingernail polish. I could probably take it off and reapply it later that night. It was about time. It had like, almost started to chip. So.

Taylor was just sitting there. Looking at us. She had greeted Max and Max had said hi back, but that was all. I felt uncomfortable under her gaze and watched her look from Max to me and back and forth over and over.

"What? Just...spit it out," I told her. She half rolled her eyes and sighed a little dramatically.

"So...is it true?" She asked.

"Is  _ what _ true?"

"Are you two, like... _ sneaking around?" _ She asked. My stomach dropped. What the fuck did she mean? What were people saying already?

"What the fuck does that mean, Taylor?" I asked her in response. She rolled her eyes and leaned forward.

"You  _ know _ ...are you two..."

_ “Oh, _ oh my god no. Ew, Taylor, what the fuck?" Max said to my surprise. I looked at her in shock. That was...sort of the last thing I expected to hear from her. If possible, my stomach dropped even lower. I felt  _ so _ fucking anxious. Like...I had  _ so _ many questions for Max that I couldn't ask because of her saying that.

"Wow. Obvious much, Caulfield?" Taylor asked. I whipped my head back around to look at Taylor with my eyes wide.

_ “Taylor,” _ I hissed.  _ "That _ is not what is going on here. Got it?" She rolled her eyes.

"Of  _ course,” _ she replied conspiratorially.

"No. Like...it's actually not," I clarified. I made sure I had stopped looking so freaked out and my tone was flat.

"Oh." Taylor sat back a little. She looked...disappointed. "You're...serious."

"Yeah. You think I would have  _ kept _ that from you?"

"I mean, I didn't know. I was surprised when Juliet told me what she saw, but..."

"Wait. What  _ did _ Juliet say?" Max asked.

"Yeah what  _ did _ she say?" I echoed. Taylor rolled her eyes.

"I guess I should have known. She said she saw you two, like, sneakily rushing in here all close and said she  _ thought _ she saw you holding hands or something," Taylor replied. She was sort of brushing it off with a wave of her hand like it was no big deal. Like  _ fuck _ it was no big deal. Jesus.

"Ugh. I should have expected... _ that,” _ I said. "Jesus."

"Yeah, thinking about it now it...pretty much sounds like typical Juliet. And I  _ know _ the kind of shit she likes to make up for attention. I just figured, since I heard Trevor saying he'd seen Max with you, that she was telling the truth for once. I mean, obviously she was  _ sort of _ telling the truth since, like...Max is  _ in _ here, but it's not like how she thought I guess."

"You still don't believe me," I deadpanned.

"I  _ want _ to, but...what is she even  _ doing _ in here now? The project is  _ over. _ No offense, Max." I sighed.

"We...are trying to be friends or whatever," I said, trying to downplay it. Taylor's eyes lit up at that.

"Oh yeah? What made you guys decide to do  _ that?” _ She asked. She was excited again. Like a puppy.

"Chill, Taylor. It's nothing amazing. We just realized we get along, sort of. About very specific things. Like photography, which...you  _ know _ nobody in the Vortex Club likes to actually  _ talk _ about." Taylor looked like she was thinking over what I said. Didn't she fucking believe me yet? Jesus.

"I guess that makes sense," she eventually said with a shrug. "Well...just so you know. People are going to think you're, like, sneaking into each other's rooms to fuck." I flushed bright red and heard Max stammer next to me.

"Oh god," she muttered. "I mean, I guess I sort of expected something like that to become a rumor but...jeez." There was a long pause.

"Um." I said trying to regain composure. "Can you, like. Do damage control on this?" I asked Taylor.

"I can  _ try _ but I don't see how I would," she told me. I thought for a minute. She was sort of right. How  _ would _ someone explain away what Juliet "saw?"

"Um...I don't know. Can't  _ you _ think of something?" I asked.

"Wait, why doesn't she just say she came in and saw that nothing was happening?" Max asked.

"Would anyone  _ believe _ that, Caulfield?" I asked her. "Like, seriously. Do you think people are going to believe my best friend isn't just covering for me?" She sighed.

"I guess not,” She said. “...then how is she going to do damage control on this?”

“I don’t  _ know,” _ I said. “Maybe when people bring it up you can, like, say you heard something different from someone. Pick someone random who they won’t ask after you say it. I don’t know,” I told Taylor.

“Hmm...that could work,” Taylor replied. “I could say, like...Evan or Kate or someone was talking about it and it was just a friendship thing. They probably would believe if, like,  _ Kate _ was the one to say it. Since she’s, like, one of Max’s best friends. And they wouldn’t ask her because you said Kate is off limits for approaching.” Max looked at me with a little bit of a smile when Taylor said that.

“Yeah, yeah, hipster. I said to leave Kate alone. Whatever,” I told Max. “That would work though, I think,” I said back to Taylor. Taylor slapped her hands down onto her thighs a little excitedly.

“Then it’s settled,” she said. “I’ll try to dispel rumors and say I like, heard Kate talking to you about your friendship with Victoria a few days ago or something!” Taylor was so...bubbly. It was, like, probably the  _ last _ thing I was feeling right then. My palms felt  _ sweaty.  _ My palms don’t  _ sweat, _ ok? I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt this nervous. Like. I didn’t like presenting but  _ this _ was much worse than that. By, like...miles.

“So...” I said, feeling awkward. I sort of just wanted Taylor to  _ go. _ She was my friend and knew me and Max were becoming friends, but I wasn’t ready to try to hang out with  _ both _ of them at the same time yet. I think Taylor got the hint because she stood up right after I said that.

“Well, I should probably get going,” she said. “Um...good luck, you two.” I barked out a short laugh.

“Yeah. I’m gonna need it,” I told her. Max laughed shortly next to me too.

“Yeah...for real,” Max added in. Taylor turned and left quietly. As soon as the door was closed I sighed and relaxed a little. I sort of slumped over honestly. It was just so...exhausting already.

“You want me to lock that?” Max asked.

“Ugh. God. Yes please,” I replied, resting my forehead on my palms. She got up and all but ran over to the door to lock it. She probably didn’t want anyone else to come in as much as I didn’t want anyone to. Maybe more since, like...the people who were most likely to come to  _ me _ were people who had tormented her or at least whispered about her in the past. Even  _ without _ me really bullying her, there were still some people who talked bad about her.

Most of it was...about her sexuality. Which only drove home why I kept up heterosexual appearances around campus. I  _ knew _ they wouldn’t understand or accept and, if the murmurs that went around about people who  _ were _ out already were anything to go by, then it  _ definitely _ wouldn’t be accepted if I tried to come out as gay. No way. I sighed when I thought about it.

“You ok?” Max asked.

“Oh. Yeah. I’m just...thinking.”

“About?” She prodded.

“Ugh. It’s just...what people are going to SAY if they think we’re...fucking.” It was nearly impossible for me to get that word out. Max flushed a little, looking pale. “I just...know what they say about gay people. You know.”

“Ah...yeah...”

“Like...I don’t just make it look like I like boys because it’s the easiest thing. It’s also because I  _ know _ if anyone...” I lowered my voice as if someone was trying to listen. I was already quiet  _ enough, _ but I still had trouble talking about it. “...knew I like girls, then. The things they’d say...I know what those things are and I’ve been around it and seen how they act about gay people, and...it’s not good.” Max sighed.

“I hope they don’t drag you into it because of me,” she said. I rolled my eyes.

“Oh, they will. I’m sure. There’s no way all the guys I’ve snubbed won’t come clean about it to each other. I think they always acted like I fucked them because it gave them street cred in the club or whatever among the other jocks. But...not a single one of them has ever... _ touched _ me or anything. And that’s probably going to come up now.” I hadn’t really thought about that particular consequence and it really felt like it was coming back to bite me in the ass. I had to just...deal with it, but...that was going to cause chaos for sure.

“Well...whatever happens, I support you,” she reassured me.

“I get it Max. You’re here for me.” She half chuckled.

“That I am. And don’t you forget it.”

“Like I could with you constantly reminding me,” I teased sarcastically.

“Well don’t expect me to stop doing so any time soon, Vic,” she said half seriously. “There’s going to be...a lot of anxiety and shit going forward, so...I want you to be sure that I’m not going anywhere through any of it.”

The sentiment was nice but...I wondered how serious she was about it. I didn’t know if she  _ knew _ how hard things could really get with this. Not to mention my feelings for her. Like...how could she reassure me she wasn’t going anywhere no matter what when I  _ liked _ her? What if I fucked up and did something too much? What if I couldn’t keep my feelings on the backburner like I wanted to? There were so many what ifs when it came to that that I didn’t seriously believe she could mean that, beyond all doubt, she would be there for me.

“Don’t overthink it, Vic,” she said. “I see the gears turning inside that head of yours,” she teased.

“I just...don’t think you can really  _ say  _ that for sure,” I told her honestly. “Like. I  _ like _ you. How is that not going to be a factor in whether or not we stay friends?” It was...still a little weird to be talking so openly with her about it but...it’s whatever.

“I don’t see why it  _ would _ be a factor, Vic,” she replied. I raised an eyebrow because, like...seriously? “I mean, you obviously respect how I feel about that and my relationship with Chloe, so...I don’t see why it would be a problem. Just because you have a crush on me doesn’t mean I’m going to avoid you like the  _ plague _ or anything.”

I guess she had a point. It wasn’t like I was going to try to take her away from Chloe. As much as I wanted Chloe to just...let me have her. I wasn’t going to do that. Because it wouldn’t make  _ Max _ happy. And that was more important to me.

“I  _ guess _ you have a point,” I conceded. “But.” A thought occurred to me. “What is  _ Chloe _ going to think? When she hears.”

“Well...” Max began. She paused for a second. “I’ll have to tell her. I...didn’t want to, but I think I have to.”

She  _ didn’t _ want to tell Chloe?

“You  _ didn’t _ want to tell Chloe?” I couldn’t believe that.

“Well...it would have been easier that way. Since, like, I know you two kind of really hate each other,” she explained.

“I guess. But. I don’t think she’d  _ like _ that very much. If she found out, I mean.”

“Yeah. Well...she’s probably already found out from Justin.” I rested my chin in my palm and looked out towards my window.

“Probably.” I sighed and turned my head to look at Max. “She’s going to think you’re cheating on her.”

“I hope she knows I wouldn’t,” Max replied. I looked back out the window. I hoped so, too. I  _ really _ didn’t need Chloe breathing down my back or breaking into my room to...fucking attack me or something.

It was quiet for a moment before I heard a phone buzz in Max’s bag. My eyes snapped to it instantly. Then I looked at her. She was staring at her bag too. I watched her take a long breath before getting her phone out of her bag. She took another one before unlocking it. I resisted the urge to scoot closer to read over her shoulder.  _ If she wants you to know, she’ll tell you, _ I told myself.


	28. Chapter 28

_ Max _ __   
_ 4:46 PM _ __   
_ January 25, 2015 _ _   
_ __ Arcadia Bay, Oregon

 

The news was already all over the school. I doubted there was  _ anyone _ left who didn’t know Victoria and I had been seen together. Or...what Juliet had said she saw and thought. When my phone had vibrated in my bag, I knew it would be Chloe. I had to seriously mentally prepare myself for what she might have said. Then, literally  _ as _ I was unlocking my phone to read her message, one came in from Kate. And then Warren. My phone buzzing in my hand so much drove my anxiety through the fucking ceiling. I’d never been popular by any stretch so the constant messaging alone was enough to drive me bonkers, let alone what I was sure the messages were about.

Chloe Price: MAX WHAT THE FUCK

Chloe Price: I WAS HANGING OUT WITH JUSTIN JUST NOW AND JULIET CAME OVER TO US AND SAID SOMETHING THAT I THINK WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT

Chloe Price: I AM COMING TO YOUR ROOM AND IF YOU AREN’T IN THERE I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD MAX

Fuck.  _ Fuck! _ Not good. Not good, not good, not good. My hands were shaky and I felt so anxious I could cry. I didn’t even  _ want _ to look at the messages from Kate and Warren yet. I couldn’t. I didn’t have the energy for it. I jumped just a little when I felt a warm hand rest between my shoulder blades. Victoria had scooted closer to me.

“Max,” she said. “Are you okay?” She paused. “I mean...of course you aren’t. But. Is there anything I can do?” Her voice was soft and low and — I closed my eyes — surprisingly soothing. I’d never heard her speak like that before but  _ god _ it was exactly what I needed. I brought my hands up to my brows and rubbed them, sort of, with my phone in my hand still.

“No, I…” My voice sounded a little whiny and I hated it. I was just so strung out. I took a deep breath. “I don’t know, it’s just...Chloe. She’s mad and she’s coming to my room right now and if I’m not in there she’ll fucking kill me but it’s probably already too late because by the time I get out there I’m  _ sure _ she’ll already be in the hallway and —”

Sure enough, as I was saying that, I heard the hall door slam open. My eyes snapped open.  _ No, fuck...fuck! _

I thought about rewinding. It would be easy enough but how would I explain suddenly needing to go? It hadn’t even been that long since Taylor left and Victoria had been talking about how the Vortex Club would see her sexuality and I didn’t want to interrupt that conversation and oh god I could hear Chloe fishing her keys out of her bag  _ what do I do? When do I go out there? Do I wait until she’s in there already? When do I…? _

“Max,” Victoria said, still speaking  _ so _ fucking softly. I tried to grasp onto the vibe her voice was giving off so I could hold on to something... _ anything _ to pull my anxiety in. Even just a little bit. “You should go,” she said. I took a deep breath.

“I  _ can’t,  _ Victoria,” I told her. “I don’t know what to say or how to diffuse the situation. She’s  _ so angry _ right now and god she never gets angry like this but I  _ know _ how angry she was as a teen when her dad died and it’s too late for me to do anything about this,” I said. I felt Victoria stiffen a little when I mentioned William’s death. I don’t think she knew what exactly happened to Chloe’s dad. I wasn’t even sure she knew David was Chloe’s stepdad. I heard Chloe’s key slide into my doorknob jaggedly.

Victoria stood up, standing slightly in front of me and holding out her hand. She wanted to help me up.  _ Does she just want me to go so Chloe doesn’t come in  _ here _? Does she just want to avoid the situation and get rid of me before she gets tangled up in it, too? _ After all the care Victoria had shown me in the past couple of days I probably shouldn’t have doubted her intentions but stakes were high and so were tensions so it wouldn’t have surprised me if she was reverting to what she knew how to do best — being an icy bitch.

“Max,” she said. Her voice was still sort of soft but there was finality in her tone. I heard Chloe’s muffled shout of “MAX!” from inside my room across the hall, making us both flinch a little.  _ As if the dorms don’t  _ already  _ know something’s going on involving me… _ “You  _ need _ to go out there.” There was no malice or anything in her eyes other than concern. I took her hand, letting her help pull me up.

“You’re right,” I muttered. It was about the  _ last  _ thing I wanted to do but she was right. Once I was on my feet, I went to let go of her hand but she held mine firmly and pulled me closer, wrapping her arms around me. I stiffened a little in surprise.  _ Victoria is...hugging me. Victoria Chase is hugging me? _

I realized I should probably move so it didn’t seem like she’d crossed a line. I was surprised, sure, but I wasn’t  _ against _ being hugged by a friend...even a new one. I ignored any lingering thoughts in the back of my head about her feelings for me. She was just trying to care for me...and it was honestly so fucking nice. So I returned the hug.

It only lasted for a few moments but the hug was warm.  _ She _ was warm. I closed my eyes for a second and tried to take a deep breath to drink in what little calm I could from her. She smelled fresh, somewhere between something minty and something floral.

“I can...be there for you...if you want,” she said quietly as she pulled out of the hug. Her words were hesitant, and she wasn’t meeting my eyes, but the offer was still there. I opened my mouth to reply but wasn’t sure to say. She finally met my eyes. She looked...guilty.  _ Oh, Vic...this isn’t your fault,  _ I thought with a heavy breath.

“You don’t have to do that, Vic,” I told her. “You don’t have to put yourself through that.” We were barely friends but it already felt like there was some sort of camaraderie between us.

“I mean. It would probably help if she saw that I really  _ wasn’t _ over here, like...in some skimpy lace thing trying to seduce you.”

“Jesus  _ christ,”  _ I said before I could help myself. There was suddenly a huge lump in my throat. “I mean, um...yeah. You’re...probably right,” I recovered. She rolled her eyes a little. Really, I just didn’t want to face this  _ alone. _ Was Victoria herself the best person to accompany me? Oh,  _ hell _ no. In fact, she had the potential to make things  _ worse. _ But god I wasn’t about to turn down some support in the moment. I sighed heavily. “All right, well...let’s go out there, I guess.”

When I opened Victoria’s door to step into the hallway, barely a second had passed before Chloe flung mine open, nearly slamming it into the wall of my closet with the force. I flinched. Anger was...really not something I handled well. Especially not after  _ that week _ in 2013. I heard Victoria step out behind me but her door didn’t close.

“Chloe...I know there are rumors going around right now and —” She cut me off.

“Oh, _sure._ _RUMORS,_ huh?” She...was convinced there was merit to them. I could see that plainly. I felt like I could just crawl into a hole inside myself and die.

“Chloe.” Victoria’s voice was firm — authoritative, even — at my side. “Let’s take this into my room or Max’s.” Chloe’s eyes darted from my doorway to Victoria’s. “Okay?”

Chloe sneered, standing up taller like the Big Bad Wolf ready to blow Victoria’s mansion down. She started to take a step forward.  _ No no no no no PLEASE, _ I begged internally.

“Chloe,” I murmured. I wasn’t sure if she’d hear me because my voice was so small. She hesitated, looking at me, and she seemed to deflate a little.

“Fine,” she grumbled, taking half a step back again. She looked at Victoria with daggers in her eyes — no...really, it was more like  _ swords.  _ “But this happens in  _ your _ room.”  _ So you can see if it smells like sex,  _ I thought darkly. I knew Chloe well enough to know that, when it came to people and things she didn’t like, she was like a freaking bloodhound. She’d leave no stone unturned and remember every minute detail. Which meant...I  _ really _ needed to tread carefully once we got into Victoria’s room.

Chloe pulled my door closed behind her and crossed the hall. Victoria held the door open for me and let Chloe pass as well before shutting and locking it.

Chloe surveyed the room once she got in there.  _ Looking for evidence.  _ I could tell. She pored over every surface while standing in the middle of the room — Victoria’s closet, first, then the couch, before spending a good deal of time scrutinizing Victoria’s bed.

“Oh for god’s sake, Price,” Victoria began, exasperation in her tone. It made my anxiety spike. “I didn’t  _ fuck _ your girlfriend, okay? You should know better than to believe that slut Juliet anyway.” I glanced at Victoria from the spot I’d chosen on her couch. She was leaned up against the wall of her closet with her arms crossed, patented look of annoyance on her features.  _ Gone is the soothing side, I see. _

“Oh, yeah? Give me  _ one good reason _ to believe you. I  _ know _ what you did with Rachel,” Chloe retorted, eyes narrowing. Victoria rolled her eyes.

“First of all, I just  _ did _ give you good reason. Juliet is the biggest liar and gossip on this entire campus, or did you forget?” Chloe snorted, unimpressed. “Second of all,  _ I  _ didn’t do anything to your relationship with Rachel. You...no.  _ She _ did something to  _ my _ relationship with  _ her. _ We were together before you  _ ever _ attended Blackwell.” Chloe kept her arms crossed and shifted her weight onto her other foot.

“Oh yeah?  _ Prove it.”  _ I knew Chloe kept mementos of her relationship with Rachel. It stung but they were easily accessed on her phone and social media  _ “in case she ever needed them.” _ I guess now would qualify as one of those times but I knew it was just a ruse of an excuse. Victoria rolled her eyes.

_ “Gladly,”  _ she sneered. She strode over to her desk with purpose, opening up her laptop. She clicked through a few folders before opening some pictures up on her screen and gesturing for Chloe to look.

“There. That was the summer of her sixteenth birthday party. We got wasted and fucked for like...hours after. You didn’t attend until that fall.” I leaned to the side to see around Chloe. It was a picture of Victoria and Rachel, their heads peeking out from under the sheets, kissing. They looked...really happy, actually.  _ Though, who knows how much of that was  _ real  _ on Rachel’s part,  _ I thought darkly. The thought made me glower and the picture made me bristle.

“Prove it. Prove that’s when that was from,” Chloe said. She was still angry, and her arms were still crossed, but her voice had a touch of sadness in it.  _ Oh, babe… _

I might not have liked that Rachel meant so much to Chloe —  _ still _ meant so much to Chloe — but I understood. She was everything I  _ wasn’t _ during that time. Everything I was supposed to be. _ Everything I failed to be. _ So...I just swallowed my feelings about it. She was what Chloe needed and probably what kept her alive long enough to be with me. Victoria right clicked on a file and pulled up the details for the picture, gesturing at a line of text I couldn’t read from the couch. Chloe sighed.

“Okay, so I know you’re telling the truth about  _ that,  _ at least. I still fucking hate you and don’t see why I should believe you over Juliet.”

“Chloe!” I said, standing up and walking over to her. “If you can’t believe her, believe  _ me.”  _ It hurt that she wasn’t even considering  _ my  _ part in this. If I’d been cheating on her,  _ I’d _ be lying to her, too. But I wasn’t doing  _ either  _ of those things and it hurt that it was like that didn’t even matter.

Chloe turned to look at me. My heart ached at how she looked at me. How she studied my eyes, looked over my neck —  _ to check for hickies.  _ She stepped closer, resting her hands on my shoulders, leaning in to sniff at me. I stiffened a little at that, and saw Victoria behind her meet my eyes in worry. We  _ had _ hugged just beforehand. It must not have mattered, though, because when Chloe pulled back the look in her eyes was a little softer — empty, almost.

“You don’t smell like anything,” she said, almost quietly. “I’m...god. I’m sorry, Mad Max,” she continued. “You’re right...I should have trusted  _ you.  _ I just...when I heard it was  _ her,”  _ Chloe turned to glare at Victoria. “I assumed she’d done something to you.”

“I  _ told _ you to trust me,” I replied. And I had — that very first day that I’d hung out with Victoria after working on our project. “Nothing like that’s going on. You’re...all I have eyes for, okay?” Victoria turned around and closed her laptop a touch too hard and rested her hands on the back of her chair, still facing away from us. Chloe sighed. “I risked my life for you, Chloe. Over and over. And I’d do it again. And again and again and  _ again. _ Okay?” She nodded gently.

“Okay. Okay,” she said quietly. “I need to...go outside. Blow off some steam, maybe smoke or something.” I rested one hand gently on her upper arm.

“Okay, babe. I love you, you know.”

“I love you, too. I’m...really sorry for causing a scene. You...ugh. You  _ both _ were right, I should have known better than to listen to  _ Juliet.”  _ Victoria snorted and turned around, leaning against the back of her chair with her arms folded across her chest.

“You’re fucking right you shouldn’t trust that slut,” she sneered. Now  _ Victoria _ was irritated. She opened her mouth to say more but promptly closed it.

“I’ll see you later, okay? Text me? I have to talk to Kate and Warren because they messaged me, too.” Chloe nodded and left, not quite slamming the door behind her on the way out. I looked over at Victoria, who was staring at the door like she could set it on fire if she tried hard enough. She exhaled sharply through her nostrils and turned away from me again, bracing herself on the back of her chair.

“Victoria, I…”

_ “Don’t,”  _ she warned. Her voice was thick with something between anger and anguish.  _ Is it my fault?  _ “It’s just…” she sighed, her figure visibly deflating. “I hate remembering that,” she said quietly. I walked the few paces between us and rested one hand on her back like she had for me earlier.

“I don’t like it much, either,” I admitted. Her head snapped over to me, eyes searching mine.

“Why does it matter to  _ you?”  _ She asked. There wasn’t much malice in her voice, it was a little too weak for that...mostly it was disbelief and maybe some suspicion.

“Come, sit,” I told her, walking back over to the couch. “I’ll tell you about how  _ I  _ feel about Rachel Amber for once.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's getting spicy...


	29. Chapter 29

_ Victoria _

_ 5:23 PM _ __   
_ January 25, 2015 _ _   
_ __ Arcadia Bay, Oregon

 

I watched Max walk back over to my couch and sit down before I moved at all. I was sort of shocked by what she had said. No. Actually, I was  _ more _ surprised by  _ how _ she said it. If I thought about it, it made sense that Max wouldn’t like Rachel since  Chloe was like...Infatuated with her and whatever. But...there was  _ a lot _ of dislike in Max’s voice. She seemed so...actually angry. It was...weird to experience.

Max never seemed like an angry person. I wasn’t sure she really had it in her to  _ be _ angry. At least, not like I could. Or like Chloe just was. So to feel the quiet anger radiating off her when she told me she didn’t like Rachel and wanted to tell me why...well. To say I was intrigued would be an understatement.

So, I followed her over to my couch finally. I sat on the opposite end, turned sort of to face her with my knees together and my feet tucked under me. I rested one arm on the back of the couch and the other in my lap.

“So. What did the great Rachel Amber do to  _ you? _ You like, didn’t even  _ know _ her.” I didn’t want to sound snippy, but I was still a little prickly from some of the things that were said earlier. I mean. The whole situation with Chloe put me on edge of course. But something Max had said really...got to me, I guess.

_ “You’re...all I have eyes for.” _ That’s what she’d said to Chloe. I knew it was the  _ truth, _ but...it still stung. Bad.  _ Did what we had in the past mean nothing? Did she forget already? Was I...that easily forgotten? _ I didn’t want to think that way, but I couldn’t help it. I was insecure enough as it was  _ without _ Max fucking forgetting how she’d get this fire in her eyes when I’d back her up against the lockers. How her voice would get low and...and  _ hot _ when I’d lean in and assert my social dominance over her.

It was so intoxicating, honestly. To just...assert my  _ social _ dominance over her and have her play me like a fiddle while I did it. The way she could get under my skin with just a look. How her tone of voice in those times…low and  _ dangerous  _ or something. Every now and then, she’d threaten to turn the situation around on me. In front of everyone.  _ To pin me against the lockers in front of everyone... _

I knew I needed to stop that train of thought. I was supposed to be keeping myself together for Max. To listen to her talk about how Rachel somehow fucked with her, too. Not...getting turned on thinking about how bad I wanted her to pin me up against something and breathe down  _ my _ neck. I shuddered. She noticed.

“You ok, Vic?” She asked. I resisted groaning in annoyance. “Are you cold at all?” She glanced at the window. It...wasn’t  _ that _ cold out, so I guess it would be weird that I shuddered.

“No. I’m fine,” I replied. She gave me a look that said she wasn’t really believing me, but that’s ok. She dropped it, at least. “So. Rachel Amber,” I prompted.

“Yeah...Rachel,” Max said. She sounded annoyed. Like she was remembering some far-off wrong that happened to her. I rested my elbow on my knee and my chin on my palm, leaning in a little. I wanted to get the tea on this shit. “Well...obviously you know she and Chloe were involved,” Max began. I hummed and sort of nodded in acknowledgement. “It was obviously before I was at Blackwell, but I grew up here. And Chloe was my best friend.” I nodded. Max sighed. “Chloe’s dad...” She paused and looked off into space. Her voice got quieter. “Her dad...William...he died right before my mom got a job offer in Seattle.” My eyes widened. I didn’t know that at all. Until earlier, I thought Madsen was, like...her dad or whatever. Even though they seemed like opposites. I just figured that’s why Chloe was the way she was. To rebel against him. “My mom took the job,” Max continued, looking back at me. There was a lot of pain in her eyes and she shifted her gaze to just past me. “I didn’t want to go. But...I had to. And...I’d just started liking Chloe. Like, as more than a friend.” I’d figured she’d liked her as a kid. “But I hadn’t told her. I didn’t know about gay people really. So, I didn’t want her to freak out or anything. Chloe...was a lot different back then. You’d be surprised at how similar we were in a lot of ways.”

“Like how?” I asked. I was curious as to how Max and Chloe could be similar when now they seemed like two very different people.

“Well...she always had more energy than me, but she was honestly pretty normal. No crazy hair dos or rebelling against her parents. Just a girl trying to stay on the soccer team. She also had really good grades. She wanted a degree in science,” Max told me. I hummed in thought. Chloe Price with good grades. I tried not to laugh.

“I guess losing her dad changed a lot,” I said. Max made eye contact with me again with a deep sadness in her eyes.

“Yeah. It really did. That’s...probably the only reason she and Rachel got together.” I nodded. “She  _ hated _ David. Both for his attitude and how he waltzed into her life to replace William like...like his death meant nothing.” I frowned at that. That explained a lot. Madsen  _ was _ sort of a douche.

“So how does that make you hate Rachel?” I asked. So far, things weren’t exactly adding up unless Max  _ really _ was that jealous. I guess I couldn’t  _ know _ that, but she didn’t seem like she’d be  _ that _ bad. I mean...the jealous type probably, but not enough to hate an ex. Especially a dead one. Max sighed.

“Well...when I disappeared off to Seattle and Chloe’s attitude changed, Rachel waltzed right on in. When I went to Seattle...I lost touch with Chloe honestly.” I was surprised at that. Max didn’t seem like the type to lose touch with her friends. Even if she didn’t have many of them. Especially Chloe. “I know... it doesn’t seem like something I’d do.” My surprise must have been evident.

“It doesn’t,” I said.

“I’m actually really, really bad at keeping in touch. I wasn't sure what to say or how to talk to her because her grief was so intense and I had my own grief and life changes to deal with. William had been like a second father to me in the years Chloe and I had spent as friends together when we were growing up, going through middle school and all that. So losing him right before having to move and being taken away from Chloe, in a way...it really affected me and I reacted by withdrawing. I let my anxieties get the best of me and eventually I just felt so awkward about trying to get in touch with her that I just...stopped.” It wasn’t something I would probably do, but I understood how the anxiety could pile up.

Max shifted around a little, mirroring how I was sitting on the couch with her legs tucked under her and her right arm resting on the back of the couch. I tried not to stare to long at how close that meant our hands were.  _ Focus, Victoria,  _ I told myself.

“Because I wasn’t there...Rachel became Chloe’s angel. She even says that about her. That she was her angel. I felt...replaced. I felt like they probably did a lot of the same things Chloe and I used to do. She says they didn’t, but I don’t know...I feel like they probably did some of it, at least.” She sighed. “I just...wish Chloe would talk about  _ me _ and the time  _ we’d _ spent together when we were younger with such revelry.”

My heart ached. Which was stupid because I  _ shouldn’t _ be sad that the girl who stole my two only real crushes away wasn’t being fair to one, but Max didn’t deserve that. I still felt a selfish part of me latch on to the idea that Chloe was hurting Max, though. It made me feel awful to think that, but...god. I just...wanted Max to be mine so badly.

“In a way...I can’t really blame you for being bitter about Rachel. Because I am too. It really strikes me when I think about how much she really meant to Chloe. How much she  _ still _ means to her. And...maybe it’s possessive of me to say, but I really loathe how important she’d been to Chlo. I wanted that to be  _ me. _ I wished  _ I _ was the one who comforted her when William died. But...I was also the reason I wasn’t. It was my fault entirely because I basically slowly ghosted her. For five years. And...I wish I hadn’t, but all I can do now is try to make it up to her and give her what she really deserves after everything she’s been through.”

I looked away from Max for a minute. It hurt to see how deeply she loved Chloe. She wanted to be the person Chloe called an angel...and I wanted to be the person  _ she _ called...well. Maybe not an  _ angel, _ but I wanted to be the person who gave her that look that was in her eyes.

“I guess I can see how that would sting,” I finally said. Max sighed. I looked back at her trying not to betray how I felt inside. Since I felt about Chloe like she felt about Rachel pretty much.

“Well, now you know,” she said. “I’m a bitter, jealous ass.” She clapped her hands down onto her thighs. “That’s that, I guess.” I wanted to reach out to her and comfort her somehow. Because...even though my  _ own _ heart stung a little from how in love she obviously was with Chloe, it still hurt to see her hurt. I noticed I’d already started to reach out to her, so...I had to follow through. I leaned forward and put the hand that had been on the back of the couch on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry you have to deal with that, Max,” I told her. She rolled her eyes a little. “Seriously,” I said. She looked at me almost like she was saying ‘What do you know about what I’m feeling?’ I sighed in response and pulled back, resting my hand in my lap.

“Sorry, I…” she started to say. I looked away and aimlessly looked around my room.  _ Whatever. She can act like I don’t get it if she wants. But. I do get it. _ “That was insensitive of me,” she eventually said.

“Yeah. A little. Whatever,” I snipped at her. I didn’t  _ want _ to get snippy, but...it was a defense mechanism. The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. I felt my cheeks heat up a little.  _ God fucking damnit.  _ Max sighed again.

“Look. Thinking about it...I see how you actually  _ would _ know how that feels. Since you...like me and all.” Her voice got quieter at the last bit. I rolled my eyes but still didn’t look at her.

“Yeah. So. I get how you feel about Rachel. Maybe me and you didn’t have some...perfect childhood friendship, but. I like you, you’re with Chloe.” I took a quiet deep breath to keep my voice steady. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want that to be me sometimes.”

“Sometimes?” She asked. Her voice got playful. I figured she was trying to lighten the air, which I appreciated. So I joked back.

“Only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays,” I replied, finally looking at her. There was mirth in her eyes and a smirk on her lips. I returned the smirk but didn’t feel any joy hit my eyes like it was playing behind hers, it seemed.

“What about Saturday’s? Saturday night’s alright for figh-ting, after all,” she joked. I huffed a laugh through my nose at her song reference.

“You think I just want you around to fight? You haven’t been paying very good attention then, have you, Caulfield?” I asked. It was on the flirty side which...might not have been the  _ best _ idea, but...my mouth has a mind of its own sometimes. Her eyes widened a little and she breathed in a little sharply, so. Whatever. She narrowed her eyes at me a little.

“I’ll have you know I pay plenty good attention, Victoria Chase,” she told me. Her voice had an edge to it that I tried not to let affect me. I was...mostly successful. I felt my breath get heavier.

“Plenty of people pay good attention to me around here,” I told her with an air of superiority. “What makes you any different?”

I  _ knew _ I was pushing her a little, but she hadn’t done anything but play along so far, so...I was going to take what I could get it and eat it up like the Last fucking Supper.

“You’d be surprised how much I know about you, Victoria,” Max replied. There was danger in her voice and I felt a chill run down my spine. I swallowed hard. I tried not to shudder. I wanted to let myself, but I resisted the urge. I quirked an eyebrow at her.

My phone dinged and I glanced at it on the coffee table. There was a message from Taylor. It was getting late, too. I had some work I had to get done for my morning classes and...well. The room was admittedly getting a little  _ hot _ for me and I wanted to do something about it ASAP.

“Ugh,” I began, feigning annoyance. “That’s Taylor. I kind of need to go,” I told her. “As much as I’d  _ love _ to find out all the things you  _ think _ you know about me, I have Queen Bitch bullshit to attend to.” Max chuckled quietly.

“All right, Queen Bee,” she said. “I’ll let you go. Good luck with...Taylor and whatever news  _ she _ has.” Which...reminded me of how the whole school was probably on fire by now with the “news” Juliet was spreading. Ugh.

“Don’t remind me, Caulfield,” I told her dryly. She started to get her bag zipped up and headed to my door. Before she left, though, I spoke up. “Hold on.” She paused with her hand almost on my doorknob. “Let’s hang out next week.” I felt stupid for saying it. I didn’t want to sound desperate but I didn’t want her to walk out the door and our friendship...not actually happen somehow. “I’ll text you.”

“Ok, Vic,” she replied. “I’ll see you later, then.” I felt my stomach drop a little. I was going to miss her. I turned to pick up my phone, feeling awkward under her gaze.

“Yeah. Have a good night, Max,” I said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think moody Victoria is my favorite Victoria to write XD


	30. Chapter 30

_ Max _ __   
_ 3:46 PM _ __   
_ February 2, 2015 _ _   
_ __ Arcadia Bay, Oregon

It had been a week — well, a week and a day, to be precise — since Victoria and I had hung out at the Tea House and made our friendship...public knowledge in a way. After telling her about how I felt about Rachel Amber, we’d parted ways pretty quickly. But she texted me an hour or two later and we’d made plans to hang out and watch some Alfred Hitchcock together. Today was the day and it had been an...interesting week to say the least.

People had generally reacted with shock to Juliet’s “news.”  _ More like hardcore  _ fake  _ news,  _ I thought bitterly. Her rumor-spreading habit never  _ usually _ extended to me but...I guess all bets were off as soon as I was a known associate of Public Enemy #1 — Victoria Maribeth Chase.

I sighed, drumming my hands against my cheek as I rested my chin in my palm. I  _ had _ been mindlessly scrolling through social media on my laptop. I looked at the time in the corner of my screen and scowled, closing my laptop in frustration. The afternoon was just  _ crawling _ by and nothing was keeping my mind off the situation between Victoria and I really at all. I glared out my window. Victoria was still in class, so it wasn’t like I could just be like “hey, can we hang out now instead of later? I’m sick of thinking about how the whole school was convinced for three whole days that we’ve been fucking after they found out we’d been  _ seen in the dorms together once.” _ Not like I would say that  _ anyway  _ but...fuckin’  _ A, _ man.

Chloe had been...supportive but on-edge and distant for those first few days. Well...she still was, really, but it wasn’t quite as bad as it was at first. With the whisperings about how the tension between Victoria and I in the past probably mounted...how we had probably ended up having angry hatesex during the project...I think it all probably made it hard on Chloe.  _ It sure was hard on Victoria and I,  _ I mused.

My conversation history with Victoria had grown tenfold in just the past week from what it’d been before the project...in fact, probably one hundredfold, honestly. We bitched to each other about it and laughed about some of the theories people were coming up with in an attempt to explain Juliet’s “news” and justify their own interpretations of it.

Some of the things people said were downright ridiculous, honestly. Well...maybe it didn’t seem ridiculous to them, but anyone with a brain could see the obvious flaws in their interpretations.  _ Typical Blackwell airheads,  _ I thought darkly.  _ Too dim to even think about how ridiculous they sound. _

My phone chimed from beside me on the desk, making me jump slightly. I glanced over at it, the time seemingly mocking me with its big, blocky numbers.  _ 4:14 pm, _ it taunted. I glanced at the notification — Victoria had messaged me. My heart jumped in anticipation.  _ Please say you want to hang out now,  _ please  _ say you want to hang out now… _

Victoria Chase: Hey nerd.

I smiled a little. I was quickly growing accustomed to the difference between the way she’d talked down to me when she used to bully me, when her  _ “friends” _ were around, and when she was just being her normal, sarcastic self.  _ Could I really call that “normal?”  _ I wondered.  _ She spends so much time around those toxic Vortex Club bitches... _

Max Caulfield: Hey you.

Max Caulfield: What’s up?

Victoria Chase: I was wondering. I mean, it’s like .. early and I KNOW I should be in class right now, but. I didn’t want to be. So. I ditched. I’m bored and I’m sick of hearing from the local SNOBS so. Want to come over now instead?

Her response came quickly — a little  _ too  _ quickly for how long it was, I realized, meaning she’d written this message beforehand. I resisted rolling my eyes. One thing I’d come to learn about her,  _ very _ quickly, was that she had a lot of anxieties about making sure she came across in the right way — both when it came to her public image and when it came to just messaging me. It probably had to do with her feelings for me, and not wanting to push me away, but it was...well, it was cute, in a way.

Max Caulfield: I thought you’d never ask.

I hit enter before I’d really thought about what I’d said. When I re-read the message, I felt a small bolt of anxiety run through me. For days, I’d been trying to make sure my messages didn’t dance the line between friends and flirting because Victoria was naturally sarcastic and, in her own way, flirtatious...even when I knew she was trying not to be. So I figured I needed to try not to be, too, since for her it probably  _ couldn’t _ just be playful banter between friends.

I mean, I  _ wanted _ to give her more credit than I really gave her. Victoria prided herself on her ability to compose herself, to take everything with all the poise expected of a Chase family member. And that was something she had that I didn’t — which made me  _ want _ to give her more credit. I knew that I wasn’t very good at keeping my interpretations of things as  _ strictly friendly _ when I’d first started to like Chloe. Heck, I was having trouble not thinking of my banter with  _ Victoria _ as practically flirting and...she wasn’t even on my  _ radar. _

Victoria Chase: Well get that hipster ass in my room then.

My chest clenched. It felt a little bit like a lie to say Victoria wasn’t even slightly on my radar. Not...that I really  _ had _ a radar, of course — not with Chloe in my life — but it also wasn’t like I didn’t have eyes. Or...a history with her.

Max Caulfield: Careful what you wish for…

_...wait, why did I send that? _

Sometimes it felt like I had no filter when it came to Victoria. It was so easy to just...type some words on a screen and send them off. I didn’t have to deal with trying to anticipate an immediate response or how to compose myself externally. You’d think it would make me take  _ longer  _ to think about my messages before sending them but...the lack of the near-constant nerves I had when I was actually  _ around _ Victoria made me think  _ less, _ since I didn’t have to be nervous about her getting snippy. 

Victoria Chase: It sounds like u were the one doing the wishing Max. ;)

... _ fuck. Uhh...think fast, Max. _

Max Caulfield: Psh, in your wildest |

I deleted the message draft.  _ No, that’s not gonna work...um… _

Max Caulfield: You wish I was wi|

_ No, no, no!  _ I deleted the draft again.  _ You can’t just... _ say  _ those kinds of things. _

Max Caulfield: Dream on, dreamer.|

I deleted the draft again.  _ Too rude. _

Max Caulfield: |

The blinking cursor taunted me. I couldn’t  _ not _ reply now that I’d typed a few times. She would have seen the ellipses saying I was writing.  _ Ugh...she’s gonna think she pushed too hard if I don’t respond...I gotta send the next one. _

Max Caulfield: Well at the very least *you’re* more interesting than my tumblr feed.

I hit enter and stared at the message.  _ Ugh… _ Victoria’s response came quickly.

Victoria Chase: Is that so?

I made a mental keyboardsmash.  _ God damnit can I  _ just  _ for  _ one  _ second not dig myself into a deeper hole here?! _ I sighed. It wasn’t like it wasn’t  _ fun _ on some level to have playful banter...it was always fun when Chloe and I did, though that was rare...it just wasn’t exactly the right thing to be doing with someone I  _ knew _ liked me. I knew she knew I was taken but...people in the Vortex Club slept around  _ all the time. _ She might think that’s  _ normal. _ She might think I’m like...leading her on or something.  _ Am I leading her on? _

Max Caulfield: Vic, do you think I’m leading |

I deleted the draft.  _ You can’t just fucking  _ ask _ her that, _ I scolded myself. I looked at her reply again.  _ Right. Um… _

Max Caulfield: At least you have half a brain.

Victoria Chase: Half? Max you insult me. 

I snorted quietly in amusement.

Max Caulfield: Okay, maybe more than half.

Victoria Chase: Maybe?

Max Caulfield: Shut *up,* Vic, you know what I fucking meannnn

Victoria Chase: Yeah. But.. it’s fun to watch you squirm.

Max Caulfield: You’re cruel, Chase.

Victoria Chase: I know. ;)

Victoria Chase: Now will u get over here and keep me company before I get messages from the Vortex Club again.

I stood up with a small smile.

Max Caulfield: I suppose.

When I stepped out into the hall, it was a nice feeling to not have to wait and listen and prepare to rewind in case someone was out there to see me go across to Victoria’s room. Like, yeah, it was still stressful, but I didn’t feel like I had to sneak around. Because I didn’t. The thought kept a small smile on my face as I opened the door across the hall and let myself in.

“Could you lock that, please?” Vic’s voice called from behind me as I turned to shut the door.

“Sure,” I replied. I turned around and Victoria turned to face me in her office chair, one leg crossed over the other. “Don’t feel like any Vortex Club interruptions tonight?” I asked, looking at her outfit briefly. She was wearing some white wool tights under a dark skirt and sweater combo but didn’t have any shoes on.  _ She must be  _ really  _ done with the outside world if she’s not wearing heels, _ I mused internally.

“Ugh.  _ No. _ ” I quickly brought my gaze back up to meet her eyes. “Not at all,” she replied. “They can go shove it as far as  _ I’m  _ concerned.” I chuckled a little, making my way over to her couch — which was pulled forward again, along with the coffee table.  _ Nice. _ I liked being closer to her big TV. A screen like that wasn’t something I really got to take advantage of very often.

“Drama?” I asked once seated.

“Ugh…” Victoria groaned, running a hand through her hair as she stood. “Don’t even get me started,” she finished as she pushed her desk chair in, turned off the lamp, and made her way over to sit next to me. Her nightstand lamp was still on and the sun hadn’t _ fully  _ set, so it wasn’t  _ totally _ dark, but the dimmer light was nice for some good old Hitchcock.

Victoria plopped herself on the couch next to me with the distinct aura of someone who’d had enough bullshit to last a month. I turned towards her, bringing my right knee up on the couch and tucking my foot under my other leg. I rested an elbow on the back of the couch and my head on my hand and raised an eyebrow.

“So what grade would you give  _ this _ bullshit?” I asked. That had become a thing of ours while we’d dealt with the fallout of Juliet’s gossip that week — assigning everyone’s bulkshit an arbitrary grade. Most of it was grade-A bullshit, but some of it was a little weaksauce to get _ that _ title.

“Mm, probably like...a B. Maybe B+,” she replied.

“Really, now. So...what happened? If you don’t mind me asking.” She rested her left elbow on the couch and her head on her hand, somewhat mirroring me.

“Well...if you  _ have _ to know. It has to do with…” she paused, mulling over her words. “...two particular individuals, hailing from different classes in society, who decided that the destruction of social order sounded like... _ fun,  _ we’ll say.” A half-smirk immediately grew on my lips.

“Is that so? What did they say  _ this _ time?” I asked. Victoria sighed, rolling her eyes.

“Well. The first wave of boys who I’ve snubbed turning on me has hit.” I sucked in a harsh breath.  _ Yikes.  _ “It would seem Victoria Chase not putting out and then being seen  _ maybe _ sneaking around with the school’s known dyke — their words. Not mine — is...suspicious.”

“Ah...um...that’s not good,” I replied. I wasn’t sure what else to say. “Has anyone really...said anything much about it?”

“My eyes and ears have told me they tried to diffuse things. Saying they’d seen pictures of me with summer boyfriends and that maybe the Blackwell boys just weren’t good enough.” I hummed. “Oh don’t think it  _ worked, _ Caulfield. The boys started talking about how  _ you _ must be good enough, then.”

“Oh. Yikes.”

_ “Yeah, _ yikes. Max, they…” She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. Her voice was quieter when she continued. “They started to talk about how you must be really good in bed and...that you aren’t really ugly or anything. I guess.”

“This sounds like it’s like...a solid B+, maybe A-, Vic…”

“I guess. I didn’t hear exactly  _ what _ they said, just the subject matter, so...I don’t know for sure.”

“I mean, don’t you think Taylor and Courtney were probably trying to be as...I don’t know,  _ gentle _ about it as possible? You’ve  _ heard _ them talk about me before.”

“Ugh. I  _ know, _ I just...like to pretend that maybe some of this isn’t as bad as it all is,” she replied. “So you can’t exactly  _ blame _ me for skipping class and wanting to spend some time with my supposed lesbian lover instead of the people who pretend to my face that we’re friends and go saying that shit behind my back.” I felt myself flush when she said ‘lesbian lover’ and hoped it didn’t show.

“Uh, yeah...no, I can’t blame you for that.”  _ Lighten the mood before you panic, Max.  _ “Besides, we have to keep up appearances, don’t we?”  _ Wait…  _ Victoria chuckled.

“That we do Max. If we’re gonna tear down social order we should do it in style, no?”  _ Okay, just...fucking whatever, just go with it I guess. _

“Obviously. What would a lesbian revolution be without lesbians?” Victoria laughed.  _ Okay cool, yeah, this works, I think… _

“Why...we’d be rebels without a cause!” I chuckled in kind.

“We can’t go letting  _ that _ happen, now, can we?” I replied.

“Absolutely not, Maxine. It wouldn’t be in proper decorum.”

That was another thing I’d slowly started to sort of get used to — occasionally, Victoria would call me Maxine instead of Max. I gave her shit about it half of the time but it was becoming something I’d learned was just part of her vernacular with me when she was feeling particularly sassy. She knew I preferred (more like demanded) to be called Max. She just did it to get under my skin or if she was being pseudo-fancy.

“And you’d know  _ all about that, _ now, wouldn’t you? You filthy social elitist.” Victoria faked a gasp, placing her hand on her chest.

“You  _ wound _ me, Max. Don’t make me do this whole revolution on my own.” It was said like a threat.

“Well, I can’t let that happen. You can’t  _ have _ a lesbian revolution without an  _ actual _ pair of lesbians.”

“It sounds like you’re stuck with me, then,” she replied with a smirk. I returned it.

“I think  _ you’re _ the one stuck with  _ me.” _ I teased back.

“So.” Victoria adjusted her seating a little, resting her head back on her hand like before. “Hitchcock.”

“Hitchcock,” I replied. “What were you thinking of watching first?”

“I’m not  _ totally _ sure, but I had a few ideas. Did you have any preference?” She asked.

“Well, my favorites are The Birds and Rebecca,” I replied. Victoria smiled instantly.

“Those were on my list actually,” she said, somewhat upbeat. “And given our recent discussion...don’t you think perhaps Rebecca might be the right choice tonight?” I smiled back.

“Why, what better to stage a lesbian revolution between supposed lovers than to watch a movie about supposed lesbian lovers?” I joked.

_ “Exactly,”  _ Victoria replied with a conspiratorial smile. “I think one of my favorite things about Hitchcock is all the things he started and got away with.” I nodded. 

“Oh, for sure. There’s a reason his films are all so classic in the film canon,” I agreed. Victoria stood and grabbed the DVD case off of the coffee table, heading over to put the disc in.

“Would you mind turning the TV and PS4 on?” She asked. I leaned forward and grabbed the remote and controller from the table.

“Sure,” I replied, doing as she asked.

“Thanks Max.” I hummed an ‘mm-hmm!’ in response. Once she slid the disc into the drive, she came back over towards the couch. “Do you want, like...popcorn or a blanket or anything?” I shrugged.

“I dunno, um…” I thought about it for a second. “Popcorn sounds pretty good,” I decided. “And I mean I’m not cold but I do like blankets,” I continued.  _ Uh...hmm. I don’t  _ need  _ a blanket, but that sort of just...came out. Okay. _

I was quickly learning that my filter around an unguarded Victoria was just as unguarded as she was when no one else could see. Which lead to me saying things without even one thought first. It was, for the vast majority of things, just fine but...there were some things I’d said that I didn’t mean. Or at least didn’t mean to say. She just...was  _ fun.  _ She was witty and sharp. It was hard  _ not _ to react with the same brand of banter. Even if some of it...yeah, admittedly some of it bordered on inappropriate, probably.

A soft, somewhat warm blanket dropped and wrapped around my shoulders from behind. I jolted a tiny bit at the unexpected sensation but quickly brought my hands up to feel the material. It was  _ so soft.  _ That’s what money gets you, though, I suppose. I hummed quietly.

“This is a  _ really _ nice blanket, Victoria,” I remarked. She smiled, walking around the back of the couch to sit with a blanket of her own while the popcorn popped in that probably-not-allowed microwave she had.

“It’s all right,” she replied. “Like, it’s not...my  _ nicest _ blanket, those are reserved for my  _ bed, _ but I have a couple like that for this kind of thing.” I quirked an eyebrow.

“You mean to tell me...blankets can get  _ softer _ than this?” She chuckled a little.

“If you like it so much, you can just  _ have _ it, Max. It really wasn’t much and I have two others.” My thoughts jumbled a little.  _ Taking Victoria Chase’s blanket…? I mean...it  _ is  _ really fucking soft…  _ I ran my fingers over the hem of the blanket.  _ Reeeeaaally fucking soft… Yeah, fuck what other people might think, it’s not like hardly anyone will even know.  _

“You know, I might just take you up on that,” I told her. She looked a little bit surprised but happy that was my decision. 

“Well it’s yours, then,” she told me. “But you’ll have to bring it back and forth with you,” she added on. “As, like...tax or something.” I chuckled.

_ “You _ just want to make it hard on me.” I called her out. She smirked.

“Yes I do,” she replied. “It’s too easy.” I narrowed my eyes at her in a fake glare.

“I am not  _ easy, _ Victoria Chase,” I said in a warning tone.  _ Er...I should have added something on to that… _

“I wouldn’t know,” she replied. I’d expected her tone to be snippy with that sort of statement but she was actually still teasing and smirking. She got up and went over to the microwave, grabbing a somewhat large bowl. The popcorn was almost done and it smelled pretty damn good, honestly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, your thoughts/comments and kudos give me fuel!


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